All We Are
by maraudings
Summary: "Can you believe it? We've graduated!" "Yeah, high school. But college is another four years." They've finished high school, but the hardships aren't over quite yet. - various parings, RATED T.
1. The Beginning is the End

_Guess what?_

As you can tell, I'm rewriting All We Are.

I apologize for being away for a _long_ time. I was busy, and completely uninspired for ideas for my last attempt at a story, _Turn Out the Lights and What Are You Left With. _I did attempt to write something for valentines day, but I had some difficulties with it and kept on putting it off.

It's still sitting in one of my folders unfinished :)

BUT-  
I recently realized that my original ideas for All We Are, weren't all that bad, but what I had up made me cringe.  
So, I'm deleting it and completely re-doing it.

I did make a few changes, however. So if you've read it the old one, I would recommend reading what I post here if your still interested.

My goal is to get most of this story finished and then to post a new chapter each week.  
Meaning I have a lot of writing to do :)

But anyway, sorry for the length of this AN.

**DISCLAIMER: don't own. and this goes for all chapters posted in this story.**

**RATED **T** FOR MINOR SWEARING AND SAFTEY**

* * *

Chapter One: _The Beginning is the End _

"_Congratulations!"_

Claire Lyons carefully prodded her way through the crowd of fresh graduates and their over-emotional parents. Numerous mothers were sobbing while snapping pictures with their small expensive cameras while the fathers were usually standing back looking all proud. But it wasn't an embarrassing sight, really. Or at least, they had the right to act like that.

It wasn't everyday your child graduated from high school.

And Claire's parents were acting the same way, if not worse. Judi Lyons hasn't stop crying all morning, and although she insists she's just sad about having her daughter "leave the nest" and go off to college Claire's pretty sure those are tears of joy. Because with her out of the house she can finally turn her bedroom into a yoga center/tea room/_whatever_ for her and Kendra Block to hang out in.

It's kind of like they can act like teenagers now that their _own_ teenagers are out of the house.

Jay Lyons hasn't displayed any emotion besides smiling for pictures, but Claire caught him flipping through old photo albums the night before. When asked about it, he simply said, "I wanted to reminisce about the time when I had hair".

Todd, Claire's younger brother, acted like he was glad she was leaving so he didn't have to deal with, quote, "those teenage girl hormones" end quote.

"Claire!" someone knocked into her from behind and enveloped her in a hug. So far, all she could see was a mass of red hair in her vision, but it was enough to know that Dylan Marvil was currently attempting to suffocate her.

"Hey Dylan," Claire said. "Where is everyone?"

"Don't know," Dylan released her friend and took a quick scan of the crowd. "I was looking for them myself. But can you believe it? We've graduated!"

"Yeah, high school. But college is another four years for most of us," Claire reminded her.

"I think we can do it." Dylan was offered an internship at _The Daily Grind_, where her mother hosts. But she turned it down and decided to fend for herself of at Dartmouth University in New Hampshire. Claire was proud that her friend chose not to rely on her mother for a good career.

"Yeah, maybe we should go find Massie," Claire suggested.

"It's too crowded, it'll take forever." Dylan raised the bottom of her graduation gown until she could get her cell phone out of her pocket. "I'll just text her."

Claire waited patiently as Dylan sent out a text to their MIA friend. Seconds later, she received a reply.

"She's said she's sitting on the front steps with Alicia and Kirsten," Dylan snapped her phone closed. "Let's go."

Claire followed Dylan as they weaved through the crowd. On their way over, Claire noticed fellow graduates Becca Wilder and Liz Goldman posing for pictures with their relatives, which reminded her that she hadn't seen her family since they were dismissed from the diploma ceremony.

The front steps to the Westchester High School were in plain sight once the crowed thinned out, and sure enough there sat Claire and Dylan's three missing friends wearing robes identical to theirs, with the exception of one having the valedictorian collar.

"There you guys are," Dylan and Claire took a seat on the step.

"Yep, here we are," The brunette girl with the striking amber eyes who had spoken was none other than Massie Block. Having a reputation for being "alpha" of their grade, Massie is perceived as being bitchy and fake. Claire herself even though so, but that was before they became friends. Massie is actually down to earth and insightful of other's feelings, but she had, as what most therapists would call a 'trust issue'. When meeting new people or talking to those outside of her circle, she closes up and brings on the cold front.

But throughout the years, Claire has noticed Massie improve on her people skills. She isn't as focused on material things like she used to be, and she can now talk to who she used to call an LBR for ten minutes without insulting them.

A personal record.

"How did you guys like my speech?" Claire's other friend and class valedictorian Kristen Gregory asked. Kristen was literally a grade A overachiever. For the past four years she hasn't scored anything lower than an A minus in every class, earning her a pretty much full ride to Yale. To pay for the rest she juggled a part time job at the Slice of Heaven (a pizza parlor where they've been eating at since the seventh grade) and soccer practices for a team she also captains.

Claire was almost certain Kristen could be the president if she wanted to.

"It was so moving, I almost cried," Alicia Rivera said in monotone. The majority of the student body describes the exotic raven-haired knockout simply as ambitious. Having schemed her way to her spot as captain of the cheer squad, it was no wonder most of the girls in their grade were a little weary of her. Not that Alicia minded. Minus present company, she preferred to spend her time with the males of Westchester High School.

But it's not as if they minded either.

Claire rolled her eyes at Alicia's sarcastic gesture. "Don't listen to her Kris. It was fantastic. I swear I could hear my mom bawling from my seat in the front row."

"I thought that was Kemp sneezing," Dylan joked, causing the group to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Derrick Harrington seemed to appear from thin air as he took a seat next to Massie. He landed a kiss on her cheek before slinging his toned arm around her shoulders and pulling her close.

"Bleh," Dylan made a face. "PDA, god. You'd think you two would have some class."

"And you'd think _you'd_ be used to it by now," Josh Hotz, who was usually never far behind his blonde friend, leaned up against the railing with his own graduation gown flapping in the wind.

"Hey," Kristen stood up, her face glowing, and hugged her boyfriend.

"PDA" Dylan coughed.

Laughter went around the group, and the two separated. Blushing, Kirsten hoisted herself up to have a seat on the railing but not before frowning at Dylan.

"So where are Kemp and Chris?" Claire asked Derrick.

Kemp Hurley and Chris Plovert were the other two boys who hung out with Josh and Derrick. The two of them were notorious perverts, but as they've matured they haven't attempted to put a camera in the girls locker room as much as they used to, having them always being found out by the P.E. teacher Ms. Watts.

"Chris left right after the ceremony with his family because they wanted to have an early family dinner, and Kemp went with Griffin to get a keg for some kind of party thing tonight," Derrick explained.

"Sounds like loads of fun," Claire said, although she didn't sound too excited.

"Oh come on Claire," Massie said. "You haven't been to a party since last year."

"Not true," The blonde argued back. "I went to your start-of-school thing."

"Yeah, that I had to drag you out of your house to go to," Massie pointed out. "I mean, I'm sorry but you just can't not live your life becau-"

"Okay, okay I get it," Claire stopped her friend from continuing that sentence. Bringing up that part of her past would be too painful.

A sorrowful silence fell over the teenagers after that. All of them knew what Massie and Claire were talking about, and it was painful for them too.

"So, who's in for a last slice of pizza at Slice of Heaven?"

The seven of them soon found themselves huddled in a booth (still in their graduation attire), clinking their cups full of root beer and seeing how fast they can eat a slice of the specialty.

For them, what was to come is their beginning- their chance to start over and make something of themselves.

But it was also the end. The end of attending a familiar school and seeing the faces they've grown accustomed to over the years. The end of worrying about the best way to catch somebody's attention. The end of high school.

* * *

I won't lie,  
Reviews would motivate me to write faster :)


	2. Welcome to the World

So, it wasn't exactly a week later, but I couldn't wait.  
I also want to say a thank you for all of the reviews you guys gave me for last chapter :D

* * *

Chapter Two: _Welcome to the World_

_3 Months Later…_

The crisp September air had a certain smell around Columbia University. To Claire it smelled like success- something she was determined to achieve in the next four years.

When first asked about what school she was looking into during her last year in high school, she drew a blank. She hadn't thought about what she wanted to do with the rest of her life, and nothing seemed interesting to her. Her guidance councilor asked her what she liked to do in her spare time, and when Claire said photography she was offered the possibility of majoring in visual arts. She looked into many different schools, before deciding on attending Columbia with Massie, who decided on majoring in Drama & Theatre Arts.

The two of them were really looking forward to the experience. Although, being away from the others will be a strange change, the two of them realize that they can't all be together everyday of their lives.

"It looks more impressive than when we visited back in March," Jay Lyons said as he stepped out of the driver's side of the family's Audi.

Claire silently agreed. In March, the campus seemed frightening and intimidating. It overwhelmed her so much she wanted to turn around and run all the way home. But now, standing here the day before classes started felt rejuvenating.

She could do this. Claire was ready.

"It all looks so _big_," Remarked Judi, wadding up the tissue that spent the car ride attached to her face.

"Just think," Todd said. "In two years, I'll be off going to a place like this." His remark caused fresh tears to fill his mother's eyes. "Oh, come on mom. You can cry over me then."

"Or she'll be crying over the fact that your grades suck so much you won't get into college and have to live off them," Claire teased. "I know I'd be bawling too."

"FYI," Todd said in a flamboyant manner. "My grades are as good as, if not better, than yours."

Claire ignored him and looked away. It was true, Todd actually brought home more A's then she did in her sophomore year. But his constant habit of finding his way to the principle's office every so often kept him from bragging.

For every time he tried, Claire would always fire back with, "at least mom and dad haven't seriously discussed sending me to military school."

"So what do you do with all your stuff?" Jay spoke from the trunk, having already begun to unload her boxes from the back.

"Hang on a second," Claire looked around the quad packed with brand new freshman weighted down by the weight of their belongings. "There has to be some information stand or something to find out where my dorm is…"

In the center of the quad, there were a group of tables lined up next to each other. Lines of what looked like freshman were winding around them, and a handful of them were with their parents.

It looked like a good place to start.

"I'm going to go over here," Claire said. "I'll be right back."

She made her way over and got in line behind a girl clutching onto a Hello Kitty table lamp. The girl was on her cell phone, which had a Hello Kitty casing over it.

"Yeah, yeah I know. Can you believe it? _I'm at an Ivy League. _Yeah, I know. How'd that happen?" She gabbed into her phone. Claire rolled her eyes, but had to agree.

How did that happen?

Hello Kitty girl was called up next, bringing Claire up to the front of the line. A few moments later, one of the girls sitting behind the table called her up. "Next!"

"Can I help you?" The manner in which it was asked seemed completely bored. The girl who asked looked to be not even a year older than Claire. Her hair was dyed a red so dark it looked purple. She sipped out of a Starbucks Coffee cup, and when she placed it down Claire couldn't help but notice a lip piercing.

"Um, yes," Claire said, a little intimidated by this stranger. "I'm a starting freshman and I'm not sure where I'm supposed to get my dorm assignment."

"Well, this is the place. There's a sign right here," She pointed down, and Claire backed up to see a banner with the words. "WELCOME FRESHMAN! DORM ASSIGNMENTS HERE."

But in her defense, she couldn't have seen it with all the people crowded around.

"Can I see some ID?" Again with the bored tone.

Claire reached into her front pocket and pulled out her driver's license (something she achieved on her first try) and handed it over. The girl looked it over quickly and rifled through a stack of papers.

"Claire Lyons, here's your key," She handed Claire a brass key on a Columbia keychain along with her driver's license. "Your dorm is in the Gilbert building. Room 765." The girl pulled out a folder filled with papers and a folded pamphlet. "Here's your course schedule, student guide and information, and your campus map." She opened it and pointed to random buildings. "Dorm building, library, cafeteria, and student store." She shoved them across the table. "Next!"

After being brushed off by the check-in-girl, Claire opened her map and started walking back to her family.

In her state of complete unawareness, she collided straight on with someone's back.

"I'm sorry," She said, bending down to pick up the stranger's belongings. "I wasn't paying attention."

"That's fine," The stranger said. "It easy to get distracted here."

Claire straightened up, and became face-to-face with a boy who had to be her age. His eyes were a deep blue, which was brought out nicely by his dark hair. Both of those features added to his all-around good looks, making this boy at least the second most gorgeous male specimen Claire's ever seen apart from…

Well, he was second.

"What's your name?" He asked while taking his things back from her.

"Claire," She said, tucking a flyaway strand of hair behind her ear. "Claire Lyons."

"Nice to meet you Claire," He stuck his hand out for her to shake. "Colter Hollis."

Claire shook his outstretched hands. "Nice to meet you too."

"You a freshman?"

She nodded. "Yeah, actually. Just got here."

"Same here."

An awkward pause found its way into their short conversation, and Claire found herself looking around the campus in search of something to say. But Colter beat her to it.

"Um, I think I should get going. My dorm isn't going to set up itself," He looked generally sorry to have to leave.

"Oh, right." Claire started walking to her family. "I guess I'll see you around some time."

"Yeah," Colter agreed. "See you."

Claire grinned sheepishly as she continued her walk back to her stuff. She was having a hard time controlling her smile when she returned.

"Why are you so giddy?" Todd asked as he checked out a group of girls walking by.

"I got my dorm key," Claire said, changing the subject. "It's in the Gilbert building, which is…" She looked around and pointed to an old brick building with ivy growing up the sides. "That one."

Judi sniffed, having stopped crying momentarily. "It looks very… enriching. I think you'll learn lots here."

"Looks lame," Todd threw his two cents in.

Claire ignored him. "Okay, I think I can handle it from her-"

"KUH-LAIRE!" Turning at the familiar nickname that was given to her all those years ago in the seventh grade, she was greeted by an over bubbly brunette fast-walking her way.

"This is so exciting!" Massie admitted once she was in earshot. "I can't believe we're college freshmen!"

"Neither can I," Todd spoke up before Claire could respond. "It's a good thing I'm into college girls, huh?" His dark eyebrows wagged up and down suggestively.

"Pig," Massie muttered low enough so that only Claire could hear her.

"Hey Massie," Judi greeted. "Are your parents around?"

"No actually they just left." Massie said.

"Which reminds me," Jay said. "We should be heading off too."

Judi's eyes were starting to water again as she pulled Claire in for a hug. "Goodbye sweetie. I love you."

"I love you too mom," Claire turned to her father. "Bye dad."

"Bye, little girl," Jay kissed the top of her head. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you guys too," Claire said. "Even you Todd."

"Let's not go all _Days of Our Lives_ on me," Todd said, getting in the car. Claire rolled her eyes.

She waved to them until their car disappeared out of sight before turned back to Massie. "So, what dorm building are you staying in?"

"Gilbert."

"Me too! What room?"

"Uh… 761."

Claire groaned. "I'm in 765. I guess were not roommates."

Massie grinned. "We can still hold obnoxious dorm parties and dance to _Wannabe_ while wearing face masks."

"That's true," Claire remembered those things as precious times with the Pretty Committee. And Massie was right- just because they weren't roomies doesn't mean they still can't have any fun. "So, let's go haul our crap to our rooms."

**[ ]**

"Oh. My. God," Massie breathed. "They really need to install an elevator in this building." The weight of the two boxes she was currently hauling up the stairs was beginning to get to her.

"No kidding," Claire agreed, struggling with her own cardboard boxes. "But thankfully, here's our floor."

Kicking the door open with her foot, Claire banged into the hallway loudly. Other girls making their way in and out of the rooms stopped to stare at her and Massie and they stumbled down the hall.

"Well don't all come rushing to help," Massie muttered.

"I think this is your room, Massie," Claire said, coming to a stop beside a blue and white door with the numbers 761 painted in on it in black.

"No Claire, really?" Her words were drenched in sarcasm, but Massie was just joking around.

Massie struggled with the knob a little bit, but she eventually got it open. Massie's dorm was fairly spacious, with two twin size beds tucked in opposite corners.

"It looks like my dear old roomie isn't here yet," She dumped the boxes on the bed- the top one fell off and spilled it's contents all over the floor.

Claire raised her eyebrows and continued her walk down the hall. Her dorm was three doors down from Massie's, and when she pushed the door opened she noticed that it was equal in size. Like Massie, her roommate had yet to arrive. She rested her boxes down on the rickety wooden desk chair provided (making a metal note to replace it or something), and began to open the first box.

"Um, hello?"

Claire turned to see Massie standing in the doorway. "What?"

"Aren't you going to get the rest of your stuff?"

_Right._ Claire had forgotten about the rest of their packed belongings in the lobby. They had paid a girl passing by $20 to watch it while they lugged it up the stairs. "Yeah, I'll be right there."

Massie walked back down the hallway, leaving Claire to look at the first item on the top of her box- a picture of her and a boy with dark hair and two different colored eyes.

**[ ]**

After taking a short stroll around the campus and checking out the dining hall, Claire returned to her dorm to find a slim brunette standing over boxes on the other bed. A green iPod was hooked up to a speaker system on the deck, and currently a slow and slightly mournful tune was flowing around the room.

_I see signs now all the time  
That you're not dead  
You're sleeping  
I'll believe in anything  
That brings you back home to me_

"_Bloc Party_ fan?" Claire asked, causing the girl to turn.

"Yeah," Her olive eyes lit up as she smiled. "Love them."

"I'm Claire Lyons," The two of them shook hands, discreetly giving one another the once-over.

"Emily Alberts."

"So, Emily Alberts," Claire took a seat on her bed. "Where are you from?"

"Washington state," Responded Emily as she folded an orange tee-shirt. "The other side of the country. You?"

"Westchester, which is right here in New York."

Emily smiled, showing off a mouth full of straight teeth. "This is my first time being in New York, let alone the city. I have a feeling that if I have to go out to get something I'm going to be extremely lost."

"I'll be there to help," Claire offered. "I couldn't let some tourist get lost."

"Technically I'm not a tourist, I'm a new resident." Countered Emily.

"True." Claire grinned.

**[ ]**

Three doors down, Massie's room was still without a second occupant. Her clothes were still in their boxes and hanging bags, seeing as they wouldn't all fit in only _half_ of the closet. Once her roommate eventually arrives Massie plans to negotiate gaining the whole closet for her own use, even though that alone still wouldn't be enough. As soon as possible she'll take a trip out in the city to buy a decent dresser.

Besides her clothing, Massie has her bed made and her laptop up and running. Everything else that she didn't need that day were still in boxes and under her bed.

Her iPhone danced across the wood of the table as it vibrated.

**INCOMING CALL:  
DERRICK**

Massie grinned as she touched the answer button. "Hello?"

"I haven't even been on this campus for twelve hours and I already know it sucks ass without you." Derrick said immediately after she said hello.

"I'm doing fantastic too, thanks for asking," Sarcasm was dripping from Massie's vocals.

"Fine, how are you?" Derrick asked reluctantly.

"I'm doing okay, as far as it goes."

"You know, I was telling you that I miss you and college sucks when your not here, and you demand I ask you how _you're_ doing."

Massie laughed. "Yeah, I guess that was a little messed up. So it really sucks that bed without me?"

"You have no idea. Girls are all over me. Your lucky I'm a fast runner." Derrick joked.

"Yeah, I'm so lucky," Massie agreed. "I'm also lucky that Kirsten goes to school with you so she can pummel your ass when you so much as look at another girl."

"Hmm, wow I feel so trusted."

"Because I'm the most trusting person in the world." Massie said. "Anyway, besides the fact that I'm not there how's Yale so far?"

"Pretty good, from the looks of it," Derrick answered her question honestly. "Although I'm betting tomorrow when I go to my first class I'll hate it."

The laugh that surfaced from Massie's throat filled the dorm room. "I know. Same with me."

The two of them sat there in a comfortable silence. Massie leaned her head against the wall and looked out the window as the sun slinked slowly behind the brick buildings of Columbia.

"Hey Mass?"

"Hmm?" Massie said, too at bliss to speak words.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go. My internet needs to be set up still."

"That's okay. I should be getting the rest of my stuff set up too."

"I love you, Block," Derrick said. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"I love you too."

* * *

**The lyrics I used in this chapter were from **_Signs_**, which is by **Bloc Party**.  
Yup yup. Pretty awesome.**

**Review please?**


	3. Be Yourself

Being the first chapter I didn't have to completely rewrite, editing this one was faster.  
Thanks again for the reviews on last chapter!

* * *

Chapter Three: _Be Yourself_

Derrick Harrington snapped his old silver Motorola Razor shut and flung it on his bed, causing it to bounce off the mattress and hit the floor.

As soon as he sat down and got too work on the mess of wires on the floor, his door opened and a boy about Derrick's age stalked into the room and placed a computer monitor on the desk closest to the door. Ignoring his roommate, Derrick flipped through the pages of _The Everyday Internet: All-in-One Desk Reference for Dummies, _looking for some kind of instructions on how to set it up. His roommate rolled his dark chocolate brown eyes when he saw what Derrick was doing.

"What are you, three?" He said with a sneer. "Everyone can set up the internet!"

"Shut up, Zack," Derrick said, not tearing his eyes away from the book.

Zack Wright shook his head and flung himself down on his grey-and-green plaid comforter and watched Derrick struggle with amusement. But after about fifteen minutes, he let out a huff and crossed the room in three quick strides.

"What are you doing?" The blond one exclaimed, holding the mass of wires out of Zack's reach.

Ignoring Derrick's protests, Zack reached over and snatched a cable out of the blonde's hand. "See this?" He pointed to an outlet in the wall, and after Derrick raised his eyebrows he stuck one end of the cable into the wall. Zack then took the other end of the cable and plugged it into the back of Derrick's Wireless Router.

"There," He said, retreating back towards his bed. "All done. Nice router, by the way."

"Uh..." Derrick was at a loss for words. _What the hell was a router?_ "Thank you?"

**[ ]**

Kristen Gregory threw her long dark blonde hair back over her shoulder as she checked herself out in her brand new full-length mirror. She had left most of her designer clothes (that were bought by her friends) at home, knowing that because none of them were attending Yale with her she could wear whatever she wants. And that includes anything from Macys.

This year, Kristen was determined to make friends who do not give a flying whoop about what they're wearing. They wouldn't care about silly things like make-up and who has the most money. They wouldn't rate each other or walk to the beat of some stupid song as they walked into a room. And they wouldn't ban them from dating just because they got dumped.

She looked out her window and looked over the Yale campus below with her emerald eyes. Students were carrying boxes to their own dorm rooms, while others were walking around with their campus map, trying to get familiar with it all before classes start tomorrow.

Kristen scooped up her light blue Jan Sport backpack. Being the first backpack she's ever own since she met Massie (She preferred everyone to carry designer purses), Kristen decided to stick a small soccer ball keychain on the zipper. She knew that was really kiddy, but it expressed who she was. And if anyone had a problem with key chains then they could stick it.

Yes, Kristen Gregory was ready for a change, ready to put the steering wheel to her life into her own hands.

Before Kristen left for the dining hall, she admired once again the view she has of the Yale campus from her dorm.

**[ ]**

Two states north, Dylan Marvil looked around the dining hall at Dartmouth University, desperately looking for a place to sit. She had the distinct impression that everyone was staring at her while she stood there awkwardly, and really wanted to bolt.

But thankfully, she saw a nearly empty table besides for the two boys sitting there in the far corner. Deciding that's as good as it gets, she began to walk over when she was stopped by a tall blonde girl and her following posse.

"You're Dylan Marvil, right?" It sounded as if she had sort of a nasally voice, almost like she had a cold.

_Someone has heard of her! _Dylan beamed. "That would be me."

"Daughter of Merri Lee Marvil?"

"Uh, yeah."

The girl looked pleased. "I'm Rachel Wiles. Sit with us?" She pointed behind her at a table that had three girls already sitting at. They were staring at Dylan and whispering to each other.

"Sure thing," _Wow, making new friends here is a breeze._ Dylan took a seat in-between Rachel and another redhead.

"So, do you like, know celebrities and stuff?" Rachel had her whole body turned toward Dylan, looking very interested in her question.

"I sure do," Dylan smiled at Rachel. This was almost too easy.

"They know you on a first name basis?"

Dylan's smiled faltered a bit. _Where was this going?_ "Uh, I think some of them do…"

"That is beyond cool," Rachel just smiled at looked at Dylan after that, which kind of gave her the creeps. "Can you get, like tickets to your mother's show whenever you want?"

Dylan smile evaporated. She had a feeling she knew where this conversation was going, but just hoped she wasn't right. "That's correct."

"Wow, we would just love to go to one of your mother's shows. Wouldn't we, girls?" Rachel looked around at the rest of the girls, who nodded eagerly. Rachel looked back at Dylan. "And maybe some backstage passes," Her eyes glinted with the idea of her and her friends going backstage and meet whoever was the famous guest on _The Daily Grind_.

Dylan's eyes narrowed. Of course. They only wanted free seats at her mother's show. "I could try," _Yeah, right._ Dylan fake-smiled and looked down at her tray. "Oh, would you look at that? I forgot ketchup! I'll be right back!"

The second Dylan was two tables away from _Rachel,_ she frowned. Would her mother get in the way of her making some real friends?

She knew that going back to sit there was out of the question, so Dylan went back to her original plan and made a beeline for the back table with the two boys.

"Mind if I sit here?" The redhead asked its current occupants.

"What?" One of the boys looked up. "Oh yeah, sure…" He had deep brown eyes and dark brown hair. It was all familiar to Dylan.

"Josh?" Dylan said, now remembering Kirsten telling her that Josh was going to Dartmouth back in June.

"Oh, hey Dylan," Josh Hotz smiled up at her, apparently recognizing her trademark wild red hair and green eyes. "Kemp and I were just talking about you." He nodded over to the other boy sitting with him.

Kemp Hurley beamed at Dylan, and she returned the smile. Kemp and Dylan have been friends since their sophomore year and it was good too see him again. His dark hair fell into his olive green eyes, giving him an almost cute look.

_Ew. _Dylan shook her head to rid it of those thoughts. _He's a friend, and thinking he's cute is kinda gross. _"Oh really?" She sat her tray down and took a seat. "How so?"

"Well, we were just wondering how you were doing," Josh explained. "I forgot you go here."

"Yup," Dylan poked her caesar salad with her fork. "Good 'ol Dartmouth. Go Big Green!" Dylan frowned when she said it. Dartmouth really dropped the ball when deciding on an athletic nickname. Was their mascot a golf course?

Josh laughed at Dylan's expression. "I know. What the hell is up with that?"

"You guys going to try out for the soccer team?" Dylan looked between Josh and Kemp when she asked that question.

"I'm not even sure they have a soccer team," Kemp said as he stuffed a few French fries into his mouth. "But if they do, I'm trying out."

"Yeah, same." Josh reached over and snatched some of Kemp's fries, earning him a punch in the arm. "Ow."

"No soccer? Whatever will you do?" Dylan said sarcastically. She knew that all the boys that she hung out with from Briarwood were gaga for soccer. They would always drag Dylan and her friends to their games.

Josh shrugged. "Try out for football."

"Dude, you're not built for that," Kemp said, poking fun at Josh's lean figure. "Try like lacrosse or something."

Kemp laughed. "Sucks for you." He stuffed another handful of fries into his mouth.

* * *

If I can get it done on time, I might be able to get the next chapter out by Sunday, instead of next week.  
So if you want more chapters, then say so.  
Because loads of people read this story, but not as many people review.  
let's change that, shall we?

And the title name I got from _Be Yourself_ by Audioslave. Another good song you should check out.


	4. A Comet Appears

So, I got this one done early so I decided to put it up now.

**Sarcastic Twists: **Thank you :) And if Cam was kidnapped by rabid fangirls I'm betting the operator behind the plan would be me, and then I'd lock him up in my closet and tell Claire to shove it.

_Anyway,_

I was going to say something that sounded really intelligent, but I forgot :)  
But I do have a quote for you...

**Chuck Bass:** _"If you needed to mark your territory so badly, Nathaniel, maybe you should just pee on her."_

Hah.  
Gotta love him

* * *

Chapter Four: _A Comet Appears_

Cool, crisp September air blew across the Columbia campus, blowing back the blonde hair that usually fell around Claire's face. She raised her Nikon D60 to her sharp blue eyes, and snapped a picture of one of the many yellow maple trees around Columbia.

Columbia held so much inspiration for Claire; with the old buildings, the many trees that lined a few of the walkways, and even the students. Being an Ivy League school students from all over the country want to attend Columbia, which brought in a wide variety.

Claire turned around, looking for more inspiration. There was little student traffic throughout the grounds, being a Saturday. But then she spotted Massie hunched over a notebook.

Using her zoom on her camera, Claire snapped a picture of her looking thoughtful and at peace.

"Hey Massie," Claire took a seat next to her. She showed her the picture on the display screen of her camera. "Check this out."

"Ugh, I look awful," Massie complained. "Delete it please."

"I like it," Claire honestly said. "I'm keeping it."

"Please delete it."

"It's my camera, so I'm keeping it."

"Claire," Massie started at her. "Please"

Claire looked down at her picture and sighed. "Alright, fine."

Satisfied, Massie went back to writing in her notebook. "So how goes things with that Colter boy?"

"Who are you, my mother?" Claire smirked. "But I don't think there's anything going on. I only met him one time."

"So?" Said Massie. "You need a relationship," Claire glared at her. "And don't give me that look. You know it's true. You haven't been on a date since the end of sophomore year."

"I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy." Claire said bitterly, snapping a picture of a bird a few yards away.

"Sure you don't," Massie said. "But I can tell you're bitter and alone. Get over yourself and go on a date."

Claire and Massie glared at each other, but before long Claire smiled. "You're so demanding sometimes."

Massie just smiled back. She glanced at her wrist, which was donned with a silver Coach watch. "I have to get to the student store. My stupid professor wants me to read this dumb book." She stood up.

"Oh," Claire looked up at her. "Which one?"

"It's like, Pride & Prejudiced or something."

"Pride & Prejudice," Claire corrected. "Weren't we supposed to read that in high school?"

Massie scoffed. "Yeah, but I didn't. My professor wanted us to write an essay on the portrayal of emotion each character did or some other bull like that." She started walked. "I'll catch you later!"

"Bye!" Claire sat there for a few moments after she left before scooping up her camera again and walked over to small grassy lawn were several students were studying, reading or relaxing.

She snapped a few pictures of the students, ignoring a few of their glares for disrupting their peace. Claire kneeled down to get a better angle, when someone said, "So you're the photography type?"

Startled, Claire lost her balance and fell over. She scowled up at the now laughing guy who came up behind her, when she realized who it was. "Oh, hey Colter."

Colter struggled to regain composure, which cause Claire to frown again. "That was priceless," He said when he could speak again.

"Shut up," Claire smiled and whacked his leg.

"Well aren't you just a doll?" Colter bent a little to rub his shin as Claire got to her feet. His blue eyes noticed her Nikon swinging from her neck. "So are you aspiring to be a photographer?"

"Nope, just a hobby," Claire explained.

"I see." There was silence after that. Both of them looked around awkwardly, racking their brains for something to say.

"Hey, uh, Claire?" Colter brought Claire's eyes back to him. "I know we've just met and all, and I would totally understand if you say no, but do you maybe want to go for lunch tomorrow with me?"

Claire was a little shocked. _He's asking me out already?_ Her first instinct was to say no thanks, but then she thought about what Massie said. Would a relationship be the best thing for her?

After much debate, she answered. "Sure, I'll go. When and where?"

Colter grinned. "Great. I know of this awesome deli out in Brooklyn. Let's meet here, say, around eleven-thirty?"

"Sounds great."

**[ ]**

"_You're_ going on a date with _who now_?" Emily asked, a little shocked at what her friend was telling her.

"His name is Colter Hollis," Claire explained. "He's really nice, and cute, kind of funny, and-"

"And you've known him for how long?" Emily asked again from over on her bed.

"Who cares? She's lonely," Massie interjected, examining her nails from the foot of Claire's bed. Claire introduced Emily to Massie at dinner on the first day, and throughout the week they've become good friends. Emily was smart, pretty, and had a good sense of fashion. Massie was envious of Claire for having such a cool roommate, when she was stuck with a scary Goth girl who always had candles lit and burned in scents that smelled like dead rats.

"Like, two days," Claire answered Emily, who raised her eyes brows. The blonde's face became worried. "Oh no. Do you think it's too soon? I should've said no, shouldn't I? God Damn, I'm so stupid sometimes. I'll go call him right now to cancel…" She reached over to grab her cell phone off her nightstand, but Massie leaned over and smacked her hand back. "Ow!"

"You are not going to cancel on him," Massie snatched up Claire's old LG Shine and stuffed it in her pocket. "Like I said earlier, I think you deserve to go out and have some fun. Now, let's help you out with something to wear."

Massie stalked over to Claire's closet and looked through the blonde's wardrobe. "Where the hell are all those clothes I've lent you in the past year?"

Claire frowned again. "I returned them, didn't I?"

"Oh yeah! You did, don't worry. I remember pitching them out. They were so last season." Massie thought she heard Emily laugh a little, but she ignored it. Emily may have style and good clothing taste, but she has never thrown out clothes because they were over a week old. Massie huffed. "You have nothing to wear."

"Why can't I just wear jeans? I mean, it's just lunch. I'm not getting married or anything." Claire asked Massie.

Massie huffed again. "Kuh-laire," Claire frowned at the use of her old nickname. "It's a meal, not square-dancing. I think you should dress up. But only if you want to." Massie added quickly when she saw the look on Claire's face.

"It's settled then. I'm wearing whatever I want to wear. Now can I have my phone back?" Claire stuck out her hand.

**[ ]**

"Here, listen to this," Colter handed Claire the other ear bud to his iPod. The pair was walking back to campus from the deli they had lunch at. It was around three, and they were both in no hurry to get back.

Claire put the headphone in her ear. She was enjoying herself more than she thought, and she especially liked his taste in music. "What's this one?" She couldn't recognize it at all.

"It's called My Hero by The Foo Fighters. Ever heard of them?"

"No, I haven't," Claire listened to the song for a few moments before making her decision. "This is actually really good. I don't know how I haven't heard of them before."

"I know," Colter said. "They have some other good songs too. Want to listen to them?"

"Sure."

By the time they got back to the campus, Claire now had a wider variety of a music taste.

"Alright, well now I have to study," Colter said when they were back at their meeting place.

Claire laughed. "I know. I'm going to be up all night."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Colter looked at the ground. "If I knew you had work to get done-"

"Colter," Claire interrupted him. "Don't be sorry. I'm the one who agreed to go. And I'm glad I did. I had fun."

The shaggy brunette beamed. "I did too. We should do this again sometime."

"Totally," Claire agreed. "I'll catch you later, 'kay?"

"Alright, bye!"

Claire walked back to her dorm on cloud nine. Colter was awesome. He made her laugh, he was cute, had pretty eyes, and a sweet music collection. It was perfect-_ He was perfect._ Colter was just the thing she needed to-

Claire smacked into someone's back full force, knocking her off her cloud. "I'm so sorry!" She said quickly, bending down to pick up her bag that she dropped. "I wasn't paying atten-"

"That's okay."_

Claire froze. She knew that voice. Very, _very_ well. She looked up slowly.

"Oh. My. _God._"

**[ ]**

Massie sighed and stretched her arms up. She was perched at her desk, trying to get a head start on her essay that her professor wanted on Wednesday. Her room was illuminated by the glow from both her PowerBook, and the black candles of her roommate's that let off a smell that still caused Massie to wrinkle her nose.

_Ding!_ An IM window popped up on her screen.

**DHARRINGTON:** _hey there pretty lady_

Massie rolled her eyes, but smiled all the same. Derrick could be such a weirdo sometimes.

**MASSIEKUR:** _lol have you been watching shes the man?_

**DHARRINGTON: **_no…_

**MASSIEKUR: **_sure :)_

**DHARRINGTON:** _anyway, whats cracking?_

**MASSIEKUR:** _i was trying to get a head start on en essay_

**DHARRINGTON:** _sucks_

**MASSIEKUR:**_ i know. but it has to be done_

**DHARRINGTON:**_ hey, what's a router?_

**MASSIEKUR:**_ i don't know… isn't what sends out the wireless internet signal or something?_

**MASSIEKUR: **_why?_

**DHARRINGTON:**_ zack was confusing me again_

**MASSIEKUR:**_ :(_

**DHARRINGTON:**_ hows your roomie?_

**MASSIEKUR:**_ probably trying to curse me_

**DHARRINGTON:**_ she better not_

**MASSIEKUR:**_ well thanks for the consideration_

**DHARRINGTON:**_ i know. i kick ass_

Just then her dorm room door burst open with a bang as it hit the wall, causing Massie to jump up startled.

"Massie!" Claire looked as if she just saw a ghost.

"Hey," Massie's roommate got up. "This isn't your dorm. Get out!"

"Can it, Buffy!" Massie snapped. Her roommate sunk back down to her bed, looking frightened at her outburst. "What happened, Claire?"

"It's _Him!_ He's here!"

Massie was confused. "Who?"

"I ran into him after my date! He looked surprised to see me, but I ran away after I noticed it was him-"

"_Who?!"_

"I was afraid he would follow me back to Gilbert, so I had to run the other way and go around-" Claire was babbling like an idiot. Massie grabbed her by her shoulders and shook her gently.

"_Who. Are. You. Talking. About?"_

"Who cares?" the roommate spoke up.

Massie scowled at the Goth girl, daring her to open her mouth again. "If you don't care, you can leave."

The girl stood up. "It's my room."

Massie walked toward her, leaving Claire close to hyperventilation. "Are you really going to argue with me right now?" Massie looked so threatening that the girl became frightened, so she shook her head. "Good. Now go burn your hippe sticks somewhere else." Massie glared at the rebel, until she turned and stormed out of the room. Satisfied for a successful job at playing exterminator, Massie whirled around back to Claire. "Now who are you talking about?"

Claire looked back up at Massie.

"It's Cam, Massie. He's here!"

* * *

Oooh,  
How intense.

Chapter title's from the song, _A Comet Appears _by The Shins.  
If you watch One Tree Hill you might make a connection....

And instead of saying "this song is awesome" every chapter,  
I'm going to let you know that every song I mention is a good one ;D

REVIEW.  
por favor y gracias :)


	5. Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

So here's the next one.  
I'm trying to get all the already written stuff out already so that I can work on the new ones  
But we'll see

And here's an Office quote!

**Michael Scott:** You took a life here today. You did. The life of the party.

* * *

Chapter Five_: __Sitting, Waiting, Wishing_

Rain pattered down on the brick paths that lay over the grounds of Princeton rhythmically. It would be a gorgeous sight if it didn't send students running to their classes under the cover of either their jackets or the classified section. Well, everyone ran but one student.

Alicia Rivera was never one to run- it was pretty much physically impossible for her. Jogging to snag the last pair of Dior sunglasses was something she could do, sure. But sprinting to her class just so she could hear her old wrinkly professor lecture everyone? Uh, no thanks.

So she walked under her green Gucci umbrella at a casual pace, not really caring that she was going to be several minutes late.

Meanwhile, on the Yale campus in Connecticut, Derrick Harrington sat at a desk in the back row of _his_ professor's lecture. About a million thoughts were passing through his mind, making him antsy. And although the majority of them were about Massie, there were a least a dozen that were all buzzing the same thing, over and over.

_Cam's back._

Derrick and Cam Fisher have been best friends their whole life. Well, actually they met in kindergarten. But Cam was still the person Derrick would go to for advice on his issues, whether they were about Massie, schoolwork, not being able to perfect a certain soccer move- anything basically. There was no secrets between them.

But when Cam moved away in their junior year it was pretty depressing, to say the least. Not wanting to become disconnected from each other, Derrick swore to keep touch. And he did, until eventually the texts and emails stopped coming from Cam's end. Derrick and his best friend gradually grew apart after that.

But after a text he received from Massie last night, he learned that Cam was now attending Columbia.

Underneath his small desk, he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket, and flipped it open. There was one new message from Josh, but he didn't open it. Instead, he went to his contacts, and scrolled through, hoping that he didn't delete the number he was looking for.

"_Yes"_ Derrick hissed under his breath when he saw that Cam's old number was still programmed into his phone. Now he hoped that Cam still had the same number, and there was only one way to find out…

**Derrick: cam, are you there?**

His thumbs punched in the message before hitting send. Derrick's chocolate eyes searched the ceilings impatiently while waiting for a response. Then the sudden vibration of the phone made him jump, and he clamped his hands over the phone to mute the sound.

**Cam:** **d? holy shit. whats up?**

Derrick grinned.

**Derrick: in a lecture. i heard you're at columbia**

**Cam: yup. how'd you know?**

**Derrick: block told me**

**Cam: mass goes here too? i had no idea**

**Derrick: yeah she says claire told her she saw you**

**Cam: yeah uh hang on lemme call you**

_No!_ Derrick quickly switched his ring tone to vibrate. A few seconds later, his phone buzzed. He tried cupping it in his hands to muffle the sound again, but it didn't work. The girl sitting in front of him turned around and shot him a look. Derrick tried to look as innocent as possible, like that annoying buzzing wasn't coming from him. After a few seconds of staring him down, she turned back towards the front. In an attempt to muffle the sounds of vibrations, Derrick lifted himself off his seat a little and set the still vibrating phone on the wooden chair before sitting on it. But then the vibrations tickled him, forcing him to bite his lip to keep from laughing out loud.

Finally, the phone stopped vibrating.

Derrick pulled the RAZR out from under him and flipped it open.

**Derrick: dude! i'm in class.**

**Cam: oh sorry**

**Derrick: i'll call you when i'm done.**

**[ ]**

Across campus, Kirsten was just leaving her own class. She walked across the quad, scanning the heads of the other students until she spotted who she was looking for leaning against the many bricks in the Waldorf building.

Making a beeline for the girls, she avoided getting trampled by the various college students to wrapped in their own work to pay attention to their surroundings. As she approached her friends, Kirsten could hear their conversation.

"… and then he just ran right into me! I mean what the heck." A tall, dark-haired girl said. She spotted Kirsten coming over, and shouted out, "Hey!"

"Hey Sam!" Kirsten hugged Samantha Renolds, one of her friends that she has made at Yale. Kirsten turned toward the second girl. "Hey Bethany."

Bethany Webster smiled at Kirsten. "Hi. How was class?"

"Good. Boring, but good," Kirsten said honestly. "What about you guys?"

"It was a snoozer. Literally. The guy in front of me fell asleep." Sam said.

Bethany laughed. "That's funny. Well I haven't had class yet. It starts in…" She pulled her sleeve back to check her watch. "5 minutes. Guess I have to go."

Kirsten sighed. "Okay. Bye!"

"Bye!" Bethany gave Kirsten and Sam another hug before turning and walking the other way.

"Want to go play some soccer?" Sam asked. Kirsten and Sam both loved to play soccer- it was one of the things that made them fast friends. Nearly every day you could find them in the park a few blocks away taking turns shooting on the goal there, or running drills.

"Psh, heck yes," Kirsten said. The pair looped arms before walking toward the student parking lot.

**[ ]**

"Late again, Miss Rivera?"

Alicia froze. She tried to sneak in her class through the door in the back, but her professor had caught her. Now, everyone turned around in their seats to get a good look at the student who was called out in front of everyone. Her eyes widened like a deer caught in headlights and she felt her checks burn.

Alicia's professor shook her head. "That's the second time this week. If it happens again, you're going to have to talk to the headmaster about whether or not you're ready for college." That remark could help but remind Alicia of her previous principle, and she found herself feeling a little bit homesick. "Take a seat," her professor snapped.

She lowered herself into the nearest desk, and let out a long sigh. College was not what it's cracked up to be. Alicia turned her head slightly to look out the window at the current rainfall, and thought about her friends. Was Massie having a miserable time as well? What about Dylan? Would she do anything drastic when there is no one there to convince her that she's not fat?

Alicia pulled her phone out of the pocket of her black trench coat.. Slowly and secretive, so she wouldn't get into any more trouble, she quickly punched in a message to Massie.

**Alicia: SOS!**

**Massie: lol what's wrong?**

**Alicia: college sucks**

**Massie: yeah, it's not what i thought it would be, thats for sure.**

**Alicia: no kidding**

**Massie: guess what?**

**Alicia: what?**

**Massie: CAM IS HERE!**

**Alicia: no way! that should be fun**

**Massie: i know right**

**Alicia: how's claire holding up?**

**Massie: idk i told her to ignore him if he trys to talk to her.**

**Alicia: what's she gonna do about colter?**

Claire had told Alicia about Colter a few days ago when she called. She felt bad that her friend has to go through a lot of drama in her first month of college, because college alone sucks,

**Massie: well shes not going to take cam back for one thing. at least thats what i would do.**

**Alicia: same here**

**Massie: well, g2g. class in a few**

**Alicia: kay. bye**

**Massie: ciao**

Alicia tucked her phone away, and went back to gazing out the window. She hadn't seen the PC in a month now, and she missed her friends terribly. If any of them changed, or if they grew apart, she didn't know what she would do then.

* * *

Chapter title from Jack Johnson's Sitting, Waiting, Wishing.

Review, please :]


	6. Back In Your Head

I was pretty pleased with the response to my latest story, _Reunion, _so I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed/alerted/favorite-ed- whatever.  
So thank you :)

**Nelly Yuki: **You can't do this stuff in college. People will think you're pathological.

* * *

Chapter Six: _Back In Your Head_

Joshua Hotz sighed and ran his hands through his dusty brown hair. An elder woman with her silver hair up in a tight bun shushed him for exhaling loudly, glaring at Josh over her purple-rimmed glasses. He raised his dark eyebrows and the old librarian. It wasn't his fault he was having a hard time with the 5 page essay his professor assigned the class.

Okay, well maybe it was. His mind was a little distracted when his professor was going over the requirements for the essay, so now he has no clue how to get a good grade on it. And why was his mind distracted? It was too busy thinking of a certain red head with emerald eyes.

Yes, he knew he was already in a relationship with Kirsten, but he just couldn't help himself. Josh, Kemp, and Dylan were hanging out on a regular basis now, and he just began to realize how fun her personality is. Sure, she can burp like a man and eat like a pig, but at least she knew how to have fun. Don't get him wrong, Kirsten was amazing, but he felt more feelings towards Dylan.

Josh shook his head. He had to get this paper done and stop thinking about Dylan. So he sat there, trying to clear his head, and before he knew it he was being shooed out of the library so that they could close up for the night.

Sighing, Josh hitched the strap of his messenger bag over his shoulder and shuffled his way to his dorm with his mind reeling. He supposed he would have to pull an all-nighter to get his paper done.

**[ ]**

Claire was becoming paranoid.

Everywhere she went, she was convinced that Cam was right behind her, watching her every move. Which, he probably wasn't, but the idea itself freaked her out so much she tried not to go anywhere without her fearless 'Alpha'. Massie, who thought Claire was acting childish, wasn't going to make a special trip to walk her across the quad to her class when she had her own class to be at.

So today, Claire was walking alone and looking over her shoulder a little more often then necessary.

But of course, Colter usually crosses the quad around 1:11 on the way to _his_ class (not that she memorized it or anything). And there he was, making a beeline toward Claire, who let out a sigh of relief at the sight of him.

"Hey," Colter smiled at Claire and embraced her in a hug. She happily returned it, and noticed that Colter smelt really good. Inhaling his scent deeply almost made her forget about Cam. Almost.

"Hey," Claire said back when they parted.

"So, I got these tickets to a Jimmy Eat World concert at Madison Square. It's not for like another month, but would you want to come with me?" Colter asked.

"Su-" Claire froze halfway through her response. Over Colter's shoulder, she noticed a certain tall, dark-haired boy walking in their direction. His head was down and looking at his phone, so Claire wasn't sure he had seen her yet. Better make her escape now before he does. "Sure, I'll go." Claire looked at her wrist to check the time, only to see her skin. She had forgotten her watch in her dorm. "Umm… I think I have to go now, so I'll see you later."

As soon as Colter said his goodbye and was on his way, Claire used her blue patch-quilt Coach bag to cover her face and tried to pass Cam, but failed.

"Claire?" _Shit. _Claire stood motionless, her face still covered by her bag as she thought of what to do. Didn't Massie give her advice if this ever happened? She quickly thought back to their last conversation…

"_Claire, I can't walk you around like a dog every day," Massie said as she packed her books into her over-sized Dior tote. The two of them were in Massie's dorm, trying hard not to be bothered by the awful aroma that was issuing from a black candle sitting on her roommate's desk._

"_But Massie," Claire whined. "I really don't want to talk to Cam! How awkward would that be?"_

"_I'm sure that would be pretty awkward," Massie paused and scanned the room with her hands on her hips. "But I can't baby-sit you forever. And if he does approach you, then ignore him." She unplugged her iPhone from its charger and tucked it away in her purse. "But you will have to face him eventually."_

Claire agreed with Massie; she _would_ have to talk to him sooner or later, but she's pretty sure she picked later.

"Claire!" Cam's voice brought her back to reality. She lowered her bag and continued walking, still ignoring him.

"Claire," Cam caught up to her and walked along beside her. "Hey."

Out of the corner of her eye, Claire saw a huge smile across Cam's face. Mentally she rolled her eyes. He probably thought that she could forget what he put her through and they could go back as they were in high school and ride into the sunset on a horse, or however those cheesy movies end. But this wasn't one of those, so Claire stayed silent and avoided making eye contact.

Cam got the hint. "I'm guessing you're still a little pissed off about what happened but-"

"A _little_?" Claire knew she was supposed to be ignoring him but she suddenly had the urge to scream at him. So she rounded on Cam, who looked shocked at her sudden outburst. "A little? Uh, try _a lot_!"

Cam's eyes widened, but he still stayed silent as Claire turned and strode away, fuming.

**[ ]**

There was only one coffee shop on the Columbia University campus. So that's where you would find Massie Block on most days after her class. Today she sat in a table near the window, sipping her Caramel Macchiato slowly and reading the latest edition of US Weekly. Occasionally she would whip out her phone and text someone before turning her attention back to her magazine.

"Excuse me?"

Massie looked up. Standing before her was a boy who was maybe two years older than her. He had dark chocolate brown eyes and dark hair. It looked as if he hadn't shaved in three days judging by his stubble. But maybe that was on purpose, because it added to the rugged feel that came off him that probably charmed most girls.

So basically, he was hot.

Massie raised her eyebrows, not fazed at all by his gorgeousness. "Yeah?"

"The name's Ryan. I saw you sitting over here, and I know that pretty ladies like yourself shouldn't be sitting alone all in a corner," A cocky grin formed on his lips, while Massie tried her hardest not to gag. "So how about you come over at sit with me?"

Massie cleared her throat and set down the magazine. "Um, Ryder, is it? There is no way I would be caught dead with someone like you. Now please get the hell out of my face and go shave," Massie pulled the magazine back up. "You look you rolled around in lint."

Clearly not used to getting rejected, Ryan stalked away huffing and muttering. Massie smirked at his retreating form, a little humored that he came up to her in the first place. It wasn't as if she would ever go out with him anyways.

"I think I'm going to have to warn Derrick about you hooking up with other guys."

Cam Fisher stood above Massie, the same place where Ryan stood minutes ago. Being the first time Massie's laid eyes on him in years the first things she noticed was that he didn't look that different then the last time she saw him back in high school, except for his hair was longer, he no longer wore his leather jacket, and he was taller. Still, it was nice seeing him again, but at the same time Massie was angry at him for what he did to Claire.

"Well, well," Massie said, motioning for Cam to have a seat. "Cam Fisher. Didn't expect to see you here."

Cam sat. "I know. I didn't expect to see Claire either."

Massie's amber eyes narrowed. "Neither did she, and I'm pretty sure she didn't want to."

Sighing, Cam ran his hands through his dark hair. "Yeah, I kinda got the hint when she exploded on me earlier."

Softly, Massie laughed. "She still is kind of pissed off at you for leaving her like that. I still am too."

"It wasn't my fault. My dad got promoted and they relocated him to Michigan. What was I supposed to do?"

"Uh, not dump her?"

Cam sighed again. "I only did that so that she didn't have to be tied down to me and a long distance relationship."

"Tied down to you?" Massie scoffed. "I think she would rather be tied down to you than with some other moron."

"But we probably weren't going to see each other again. It wasn't like I enjoyed breaking up with her. It hurt me too."

"Then why didn't you tell her that when you broke up with her?"

"I don't know!" Cam looked around the coffee shop, hoping that the answer would pop up somewhere. "That was a _long_ time ago. I don't remember that." He was silent for a minute before he spoke again. "Maybe I didn't want to give her any false hope that we were going to be together later on, because I thought we weren't."

"And you still aren't" Massie slid US Weekly into her Dior tote. Cam looked at her in surprise at what she said. "She's still pissed at you, and she seeing someone."

"I assumed so." Cam looked at his hands, which were currently in his lap. He sounded let down, which made Massie feel a bit sympathetic. "I guess I should just leave her alone then."

"Uh, _nooo_. You're going to apologize to her first. And tell her why you broke up with her. She deserves to know the truth, and you don't want her mad at you forever do you?"

"No I don't." Cam stood up. "And you're right. I'll tell her why, I will."

* * *

Title from Tegan and Sara's _Back In Your Head_

And reviews would be pretty sweet, don't you think?


	7. You'll Ask For Me

Whoo.  
Sorry about the delay on this one. I have to give my laptop back to the school (They lone us these every school-year for projects and crap) in two days, so I've been working on transferring my stories and unfinished songfics and oneshots. But I figured I should finish this one too.

Since it's been two weeks since I've updated Reunion, I'd thought I'd tell you what's up with that. I almost have the next chapter completed, and a few others partially written. It might be updated tomorrow :)

Quote: _Lost_

**Mr. Eko: Climb that tree.  
Charlie: What?  
Mr. Eko: Climb that tree and perhaps we'll be able to get to your bearings or see the plane.  
Charlie: You climb it! What if I don't? You gonna beat me with your Jesus-stick? I find it a little odd that your scripture-stick has dried blood on it!  
Mr. Eko: You going to climb that tree or not? (Gives Charlie a scary look)  
Charlie: (Starts to climb) What kind of priest are you anyway?**

**

* * *

**

Chapter Seven: _You'll Ask For Me_

Derrick kept his eyes on his feet as his dribbled up the path headed towards the Yale University sports stadiums as he practiced his footwork against an imaginary opponent. White earphones hung out of his ears and disappeared into the side pocket of his Brooks warm-up jacket, where his brand new black iPod Nano generation four was tucked away. _Falling Down_ by Oasis was currently playing in the background.

_The summer sun  
It blows my mind  
It's falling down on all that I've ever known  
Time to kiss the world goodbye  
Falling down on all that I've ever known  
Is all that I've ever known_

He had always liked the sound of his cleats making contact with cement. It filled him up and reminded him of what his true passion was. He tried his best to run in tune of his new favorite song so its tune wasn't drowned out by his footsteps.

_A dying scream  
It makes no sound  
Calling out to all that I've ever known  
Here am I, lost and found  
Calling out to all_

Derrick hustled over to the side bench on the field and dropped his black gym bag on the ground. He surveyed the stadium to take in what he was working with. Because it was a football field, the extra markings could be confusing, but it would work all the same.

Two girls were already occupying the field, he noticed. The dirty blonde of the two was just wearing a black sports bra and had her hair up in a messy bun. Her grey sweatpants were rolled up just below her knees, to show off her tan and toned calves. She was really familiar to him, and Derrick smirked when a name came to him.

Kirsten.

But who was the other girl with her? Her darker brown hair was hung loose around her face, but an elastic headband kept it from falling in her eyes. She too was wearing a pair of sweat pants, although hers were navy. And instead of going shirtless like Kirsten, she had a plain white t-shirt on. Derrick pulled one headphone out of his ear and made his way over, dribbling his ball with him.

_We live a dying dream  
If you know what I mean  
All that I've ever known  
It's all that I've ever known_

"Kirsten!" He called out once he was within her earshot.

She trapped the ball with her right foot and turned, holding her hands over her eyes to block the setting sun from blinding her view. "Derrick? That you?"

Derrick grinned in response. Kirsten's friend made her way over to her side while keeping her eyes on Derrick.

"I forgot that you go here too," Kirsten said honestly, a little embarrassed that this detail slipped her mind.. "How've you been?"

"Good, good," Derrick responded. Then he looked over to the brown-haired girl and said, bluntly, "Who are you?"

"Oh," She blushed. "I'm Sam Renolds." She stuck out her hand for him to shake.

He shook it. "Derrick Harrington." After they released hands, he turned toward Kirsten. "Mind if I join you guys?"

"Sure," Kirsten said as she re-tied up her hair. "Do you mind being in goal for a bit?"

Derrick nodded and jogged over to the goal. He hadn't played in a few months, and was hoping he didn't suck that much.

_Catch the wind that breaks the butterfly  
I cried the rain that fills the ocean wide  
I tried to talk with God to no avail  
Calling my name from out of nowhere  
I said "If you won't save me, please don't waste my time"_

Huh. Derrick hadn't realized his iPod was still on. Quickly he paused it and wrapped his headphones around his thin device before shoving it back into his pocket.

"Ready!" He shouted out to Kirsten and Sam, who were both spread out along the halfway point.

They both moved forward together; Kirsten with the ball. She tapped it once with her left foot, before passing it over to Sam. Sam received the ball by letting it bounce off her shins, and then she dribbled it up a few feet. They passed back and forth another time, until Sam had the ball and speed up to charge on Derrick.

Derrick bent his knees and held his hands out in front of him as he watched her approach. His goalie instincts were pretty sure she was going to try and shoot on the left side of the goal, so he leaned the majority of his weight on his left foot so he was ready to dive.

But unexpectedly Sam shot the ball into the right corner. Derrick quickly tried to switch directions mid jump, but stumbled. The ball soared out of Derrick's reach, and soon hit the back of the net with a_swoosh._

"Nice, Sam!" Kirsten jogged over to her brunette friend and gave her a high-ten.

Derrick sighed as he stooped down to untangle the ball from the net. What was with him? He was disappointed at himself for not having sharper instincts, although normally he would've caught that. If Josh were here, he'd say something like, "Stop daydreaming about Massie! We're trying to win a game here!" But Massie wasn't here, so who was distracting him?

**[ ]**

Dylan sighed and folded the top back up. The local mall closest to Dartmouth had a smaller selection then what she was used too, so it was more difficult to find something she liked.

Behind her she heard a frustrated huff. "How much longer are you going to be, Dylan?"

She turned around and looked at a very agitated Kemp Hurley. The sight of him with his hands shoved in pockets impatiently and surrounded by various women's clothing made her smile. "Well Kemp, I don't know. I haven't actually found anything."

"You haven't found anything?" Kemp rolled his eyes and held up the three shopping bags he is holding. "Then what the hell is this? Packing Peanuts?"

"Geeze, clam down grouchy," Dylan led the way out of the store.

"Sorry, but we've been here for four hours and I have a paper due. Why'd I have to come anyway?"

"Because," Explained Dylan. "I would've asked Josh, but he wasn't available. And sadly, I still haven't made any other friends. Everyone here is just interested in my fame. Excuse me- my _mother's _fame."

Kemp exhaled. "That sucks."

"Mmhmm," Dylan and Kemp walked in silence as they passed store after store, and before long the food court was ahead. "Hey, I kinda want a pretzel. You want one?"

"Sure," Kemp said.

"No I got it," Dylan said when he reached into his pocket for his wallet.

"Really?"

"Yeah. What are friends for, right?"

**[ ]**

"You wanted to see me?"

It was just after another one of her professor's lectures, so Alicia Rivera's classmates were filling out of the class. She would be with them, but her professor asked to speak with her. So she stood here in front of his desk, while wondering what Professor McGillivray could want. Whatever it was, she doubted it was good, so she attempted to look as innocent as possible.

The aging man sighed and looked at his pupil regretfully. "Miss Rivera. Your attitude towards your academics hasn't been for your advantage. You haven't been on time to class more than one time in a row, and the majority of your assignments have been turned in late."

Alicia exhaled. So that what this was about. Her grades.

Professor McGillivray continued. "I understand it's only the first month of school, so you still may not be used to how things go here, but I would usually say that the first week. I'll let you off with a warning for now, but watch your grades. Set your alarm clock earlier, take extra time to study… Just get you grades up."

"I'm sorry Professor," Alicia looked as sincere as she could. "I'll be sure to get my grades up."

"Thank you, Miss Rivera. You may leave now."

Alicia turned and walked away. As soon as she left the classroom, her mind began reeling.

So her grades sucked. Who cares? She didn't even like college to begin with. She was at Princeton all alone, with all of her friends off at other colleges. In different _states_. And so far she hasn't made any new friends.

Alicia's BCBGirls Oxford pumps clacked as she strutted over the brick sidewalks outside the building. As she walked, she thought of the reason she went to college in the first place.

Her parents.

Nadia and Lenn were both very interested in having Alicia go to an Ivy League school, and now here she was. They were both so very proud when Alicia got her acceptance letter, but Alicia wasn't. If it was up to her, she'd be back in New York, working on either modeling or being a journalist.

Her Prada bag buzzed. Alicia's tan arm reached inside, and pulled out her pink Blackberry Pearl. There was a new text message.

**MASSIE: hey pc! it's been too long. i think we should meet in the city and have a spa day like old times. oct 17. can you make it?**

Alicia smiled to herself as she tucked her phone away.

That spa day was just what she needed.

* * *

And in this story, Derrick likes Oasis (Which in my opinion could take the Jonas Brothers any day. That little revelation in PS I Loathe You almost killed me)

Title is from Tyler Hilton's _You'll Ask For Me._ I highly recommend that one :)

Review please?


	8. Fix You

When I was editing this I realized how short it actually was. Sorry.  
I suppose I was a real slacker a year ago....

My laptop is officailly not my laptop anymore.  
Will that effect the updates?  
Probably.  
But I'll try, I swear (:

**Jimmy James: **_"You can drive at 16, go to war at 18, drink at 21, and retire at 65. So who can say what age you have to be to find your true love?"  
[One Tree Hill]_

* * *

Chapter Eight: _Fix You_

"So you're actually going to do it now?"

Cam sighed into his _Samsung Glyde, _now realizing how persistent she could be. "Yes, Massie. I am going to talk to her now."

"Good," Massie responded from her end of the line. "She should be headed back from class around now. I hope she's not walking with Colter though. I mean, how awkward would that be?"

Cam furrowed his dark brows. "Colter?"

"Her boyfriend or something,"

Cam stiffened at those words. Sure, he knew she was mad and had every right to date other people, but it didn't mean he had to like it."What they're not official yet?" He asked, dying to find out all he could.

"Don't think so," Massie said. "I'll have to ask her later. Oh, I think I got an IM from Derrick…"

Cam rolled his eyes and then used the two unique eyes to scan the grounds. He was waiting outside of the Gilbert building, which was Massie and Claire's dorm building. He didn't care that what he was doing could be seen as a stalker-like move – he needed to speak with her.

"Awww! He's so sweet…." Massie was obviously talking to herself, but even if she wasn't Cam didn't want to hear how "sweet" his best friend was. It was weird.

Finally, he spotted Claire walking toward Gilbert from the direction of the library. She was talking with a thin brunette that was unfamiliar to Cam. But whatever, as least it wasn't that _Colter _guy.

"Mass? I see her," Cam hung up his phone, not giving Massie the chance to wish him luck. Claire hadn't seen him yet, so Cam decided to approach her before she had the opportunity to run.

The thin brunette saw Cam approaching and elbowed Claire in the ribs, pointing him out. Claire turned her piercing blue eye to Cam causing his heart to seize up, like it had done back when they were dating. But then those beautiful eyes became slits as she glared at him.

They were a few feet away from each other. "Claire, we need to talk," Cam was amazed he had actually gotten those words out of his mouth. He had never been more nervous in his life.

Claire paused to consider it, the glare never leaving her features. A sigh soon escaped her lips and then they said. "Can you go inside and let us talk Emily? I'll be in soon."

The brunette, Emily, squeezed Claire's arm before walked up the steps and into the dorm building.

"What do you want, Cam?" Claire crossed her arms over her long black trench coat. Brown, red and yellow leaves that had already fallen off the trees whipped around their feet as a breeze blew them by.

"I wanted to talk to you; say sorry and all," Cam stuffed his hand in the pockets of his dark wash jeans as he tried to find the right words to say. Claire hadn't said anything in protest yet, so he assumed she was curious to hear what he had to say. He sighed. "Look, I'm sorry for all the pain I put you through back in high school when I moved, but it hurt me too. I was only thinking of you when I ended-"

"Thinking of me?" Claire laughed bitterly. "What, did you think I would _enjoy_ having my heart broken?"

He had broken her heart. Knowing, _hearing _that he caused her pain made his chest pang with a pain all its own.

Cam quickly shook his head. "No, no, I didn't want you to have to be tied down to me and a long distance relationship. I was trying to make you life easier by staying out of it," Claire snorted, but Cam kept going. "And I didn't realize that it would actually make it harder. I figured you- _we_ would both forget and move on. But I never did, and I realized that by just getting out of your life all together wasn't a good idea for you, for either of us."

As Cam spoke, Claire's hard expression had softened a bit. It filled him with relief. Maybe he was actually getting through to her. "I'm not asking for us to go back to the way we were, but at least be back in each other's lives." Cam paused, letting the idea sink in. "So, can we do that, or not?"

Claire looked around, debating the proposition in her mind. "Cam," There was a strain in her voice that nearly killed him to hear. "I'm not sure we should do that right now. I'm starting to see someone, and…" she trailed off, biting her bottom lip.

"I never said we should start being each other again," Cam explained. "At most I meant like friends, or acquaintances, whichever is most comfortable to you."

Claire uncrossed her arms. "I don't think I can do that right now. I mean, I just don't think it's a good idea. I mean… Oh, I don't know what I mean…" She placed a hand on her forehead and looked around again. "Can I think about it?"

"Uh, sure, yeah," It wasn't exactly the answer he hoped for, but right now, the fantasy of her dumping what's-his-name and jumping in his arms didn't seem all that possible at the moment.

She nodded with her hand still on her forehead, and turned toward the building and ran up the stairs.

Sighing, Cam turned away from the brick building, knowing that the rest was up to her. The only thing he could do now was wait.

**[ ]**

Dylan let out a frustrated groan, and slid hangers over more aggressively. She needed and outfit for the PC's spa day, and so far she wasn't having any luck. She was looking for something that said, "I've been having a great time at Dartmouth but I'm so ready to get some facials".

Oh, and it had to scream, "Yes, Merri Lee Marvil may be my mom, but I'm still my own person. And no, I will not give you the number to the television studio so you can harass her".

Dylan didn't know what it was with New Hampshire, but people there were so overly obsessed with her mother's talk show; always asking for autographs, email addresses, and free tickets. One man even asked her if she had a picture of her in her wallet that he could keep.

And she thought it was bad in New York.

Giving up on the current rack she was looking at, she walked around the store until another rack with brighter colors caught her green eyes. Having no such luck there either, she left the store all together.

Like she had previously discovered with Kemp the other day, wandering around the local mall in NH was completely different than the Westchester Mall. There, she knew her way around and was comfortable with the stores and practically knew all the faces of their employees. Here, she had no idea where anything was. It didn't even have half the stores the Westchester did. Her and Kemp had a blast staring at the directory for twenty minutes.

October 17th could not come fast enough.

**[ ]**

"So you haven't forgiven him yet?"

Claire hesitated at Massie question. The two of them were sitting on Claire's Blue and green pinstriped bed spread. She had just finished telling both her and Emily, who was heating up a Cup-o-Noodles in the microwave she brought, about her encounter with Cam. "I think I might after hearing why he broke up with me in the first place, but I want to think about it some more."

Massie shrugged. "I think you should, because for one, I hate it when I'm in between two friends who hate each other, and two, I think you'll be a lot happier with him back in your life."

"But what about Colter?"

"What about him?" Emily asked as she took a seat on the blue bean bag Claire bought the other day, a steaming bowl was in her hands. "You two can still be friends even if you're going out with him. If he has an issue with it than that's his deal."

"Ah-greed," Massie said, giggling at using one of their old phrases.

Claire pondered this for a moment. Yeah, she'd be way happier with Cam in her life, but she didn't want to cause anyone discomfort with it. It wouldn't be a good idea to bring an ex into the picture with a new boyfriend. That just screamed disaster. But hey, like Emily said, if either of them has an issue with it, then that's their deal.

"Okay, I've made up my mind," Claire reached across her nightstand to get her LG Shine. Her fingers punched in the number that she had dialed many, many times before in the past.

"You're calling him now?" Massie asked, but Claire shushed her.

Cam's phone rang twice, before he picked up. "Hello?"

"Hey, Cam, it's Claire," She was shocked to find that she was more nervous then she could remember. And she was pretty sure she could throw up the butterflies in her stomach at any second.

"Hey Claire," Cam greeted. Claire was glad to hear his own nerves in his voice, and suddenly she became a little more confident.

"Uh, well I called to tell you that I forgive you," Claire paused; distracted by Massie's little victory dance she was doing right in front of her. "And I want to be friends again."

The other line was silent. "Cam?" She asked.

"Uh yeah, yeah I'm here," Cam said, and through his voice Claire could tell he was smiling.

"So what do you say, friends?"

"Friends."

* * *

Chapter title from Coldplay's _Fix You_.

Click it or Ticket (:  
VV


	9. Empire State of Mind

Sorry for the two week absence. School is coming to an end, I've been lazy, I've been preparing for next week's eighth grade trip, I've been lazy, I've been trying out some new story ideas with no luck, and I've been lazy.

Yup. That's pretty much it.

I'd like to thank _emeraldeyes101 _and _Sarcastic Twists _for submitting lengthy reviews pretty much every chapter. It means a lot you two. :)

**Rod Kimble: **_"Have fun being married to SATAN!"  
[[Hot Rod]]_

And for the record there is some minor swearing in here. Okay? Okay.

* * *

Chapter Nine: _Empire State of Mind_

Every second stuck in traffic Massie got even more anxious and twitchy then she already was. In approximately one hour, she would be reunited with the PC. She couldn't wait for them to be sitting side-by-side getting facials by some lady named Mildrid. Or Francis. Or even Helga.

Plus, she just received a text this morning to put her on even _more_ edge.

**KRISTEN: hey massie! can't wait to see you! i have a surprise for you! and bring cam.**

Of course, Massie immediately texted her back demanding to know what it was, but had no reply.

And now, thanks to the usual traffic at JFK International, she'd have to wait longer to find out what it is.

"Massie," Claire said from her left, sensing her distress. "Chill out. Why are you so antsy anyway?"

Massie rolled her eyes and tried to face away from her friend, but in the process squished Cam's face into the cab window. "Sorry," She said, although not really meaning it. The three of them were crammed in the back seat of a taxi cab, because Claire thought it would be faster than taking Massie's BMW, a graduation gift from her parents.

When the cab finally pulled over at the loading zone, Massie practically shoved Cam out of the way while getting out of the car and waited impatiently for Claire to pay the driver.

Now she was at gate B5, and Massie sat with her arms and legs crossed facing the window, which had a nice view of the empty plane gate just outside.

Kristen's plane was late.

"Hey, Massie?" Claire turned in her seat to face Massie. "Cam and I are going to go get scones at Starbucks. Want anything?"

Massie shook her head. Ever since Claire and Cam had decided to become friends, the four of them (including Emily) have been hanging out more. And even on the days when Claire would be out with Colter, Cam tried not to mind and still stuck around while Massie tried to get some work done in the New York Public library. But she could tell it irritated the crap out of him.

Claire looked at Cam and shrugged before the two of them turned and walked away.

After waiting for what seemed like hours, the blue head of a Southwest airline plane pulled into the gate.

_Flight 456 from Connecticut now arriving at gate B5_

Massie stood up just as Cam and Claire returned from Starbucks, both munching on what smelled like blueberry scones. Together, the three of them watched as the first handful of passengers appeared from the terminal.

One passenger came running out of the passageway, stopped, and looked around franticly. Claire gasped, and Massie's mouth fell open. She knew who he was.

"_Derrick?"_

At the sound of his name, Derrick Harrington turned around. His chocolate brown eyes saw the three of them standing there, and his entire face seemed to glow at the sight. He ran toward them and soon, Massie was engulfed in his arms.

Massie couldn't believe it. She was finally breathing his familiar scent; the one she had been missing each and every day. Although her face was pressed up against the side of his neck, she didn't mind one bit.

"Hi," Derrick breathed in her ear, sending pleasurable shivers down her spine. He kissed her cheek once before bringing his lips around to hers.

"Get a room!" Cam yelled jokingly. Derrick removed one of his hands from Massie's back and flipped him off, all the while still kissing Massie. This only caused Cam and Claire to laugh more.

"_Ew_. You had better not do that too me."

Massie finally had to pull away from Derrick at the sound of a familiar voice.

Kristen stood behind him, holding an Addidas duffle bag and sporting a grin across her face.

"Kirsten!" Massie and Claire both ran forward and gave their friend a hug.

"Hey guys," Massie noticed that she was slightly taller than the last time she had seen her. "Have Alicia and Dylan arrived yet?"

"No, we're meeting them down at the baggage claim," Claire told her.

Leaving those two to catch up, Massie turned around and walked back to Derrick, who was talking with Cam. He looked up and smiled at her when he saw her coming back.

"It's really good to see you again," Massie leaned her head on his shoulder, while Cam gave them space by going to say hi to Kristen.

"It is _really_ nice," Derrick agreed softly.

"Okay, we have to go meet Dylan and Alicia now at the baggage claim," Claire said as she checked the Gucci watch Massie had got her for Christmas in their sophomore year at high school.

Massie followed Claire, Cam and Kristen to the baggage claim, never once leaving Derrick's side.

**[ ]**

Alicia dug her nails into the arm rests as the plane's landing gear touched the runway. It was a smooth landing as most landings go, but today Alicia was so paranoid that something was going to go wrong that she took up both of the armrests, much to the old man on her right's dismay.

As soon as they were in the gate, the seatbelt light extinguished with a _ding_ and Alicia hurriedly unfastened her seat belt and gathered up her Chloe tote from under the seat in front of her. She had aimed to be one of the firsts off the plane, but instead the woman who sat across from Alicia blocked the aisle as she was getting her carry on out of the overhead storage.

Huffing, Alicia impatiently waited for her to finish before butting her way in the aisle, nearly mowing over a small three-year-old boy in the process.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" Alicia said to him and his mother. The sandy haired boy looked as if he was about to burst into tears from being ran into, and his mother shot a nasty look at Alicia before cutting in front of her and whisking him away. Frowning at her retreating back, Alicia followed her off the plane and into the narrow hallway that lead to the airport.

A happy sigh escaped Alicia's lips when she stepped into the crowded, yet familiar JFK terminal. She paused only for a moment to take it all in again, and then fast-walked to the down escalators to get to baggage claim.

**[ ]**

Kirsten squealed when she saw Alicia coming down the escalator. Being the first to spot her, she was the first to run at her and envelope her a hug. Though this meant she was equally suffocated as Massie, Claire and Dylan hugged Alicia too.

"Hey guys!" Alicia's voice was muffled, having her face smashed up against Claire's shoulder. Each girl squealed back their hello before finally releasing her, giving Kirsten the chance to breathe.

"Sup Princeton girl?" Kirsten asked in an impersonation of a gangster, popping her shirt for effect. Dylan and Claire laughed, and Alicia gave her a weird look but yet still had a smile on her face.

"I nearly trampled a three-year-old on my way to you guys," She said, causing all five of them to laugh.

"Aw, were you running, just for us?" Dylan said. It was known that Alicia rarely ever ran, and so everyone teased her for it. That remark earned Dylan a light smack on her arm from the back of Alicia's hand.

"_No,_ you guys aren't _that_ special," Alicia looked over their shoulders to where Derrick and Cam were catching up some more, and her eyes widened. "Cam!" She came over to where they were standing and gave Cam a hug, which he awkwardly returned with one arm. "How've you been?"

"Uh, good," Cam said, raising his eye brows at Derrick. Kirsten understood why he was a bit baffled at Alicia's sudden kindness. After he left, everyone in the PC ignored his emails, phone calls, and texts. And now Alicia was acting as if he hadn't moved away and broke Claire's heart. Instead she was acting like they've been BFFs for life.

"Anyway, now that we're all here," Massie clapped her hands together, a smile stretched across her face. "Let's get our butts to the spa!"

Derrick and Cam made 'Ew' faces. "Why would we want to go to the _spa_?" Derrick asked, looking a little nauseated.

Massie put her arm around his waist. "I don't have the foggiest idea why _you_ would want to go to the spa. But _we,_" she motioned to Kirsten, Claire, Dylan, and Alicia. "Have plans to have a spa day. Why don't you two just chill out at the room I booked at The Plaza or something?"

"I guess," Derrick looked at Cam for approval, and he shrugged.

"Okay, now that that's settled, let's go get our butts some cabs," Massie was about to lead the way back up to go hail some cabs, when Dylan spoke.

"Uh, Massie? Alicia and I need to get our luggage."

**[ ]**

Massie exhaled. The white cashmere robe that the Ohm Spa offered to its guests smelled like lilac, which immediately relaxed her. She had just finished her facial, and was now waiting for her massage by relaxing in one of the loungers in a waiting room.

"Apparently Kirsten Stewart and Rob Pattison are _in looove_," Kirsten reported from a chair over. The most recent issue of _US Weekly_ lay unfolded in her lap as her feet soaked in a tub of mineral water. "That's complete bull shit, actually. Everyone knows that this picture," she held up the cover and stabs it with her finger. "is from them shooting _New Moon_."

"Yeah, cause we can't wait for that one!" Claire said sarcastically, a green mud mask spread across her face.

"What? You didn't like the _Twilight _movie? What's wrong with you?" Dylan shot back while texting on her LG Chocolate.

"No Dylan, what's wrong with _you?_ That movie just made _Twilight _into an overblown phenomenon that makes the sensible people who live in Washington ashamed. And _who_ are you texting?" Massie said in one breath. Claire and Kristen giggled at her rant.

"Oh, it's just Josh. We've been hanging out more. But we're just friends!" Dylan hastily added as Kirsten sent her a death glare. The redhead then let out a little laugh. "Gee, what kind of person do you think I am Kris?"

Kirsten didn't respond. Instead she furrowed her brows and raised her magazine, shielding her face.

Just then, the door on the right of the room opened, and Alicia emerged.

"Your turn Dylan," Alicia said. Dylan put her phone back into her black Chanel bag before getting up and disappearing through the door. Alicia took Dylan's seat, and sat back. "Thanks Massie, for making this appointment. I really needed that massage."

"No problem," Massie leaned her head back and closed her eyes, breathing in the calming scent that came from the aromatherapy candles that were placed throughout the room. It was so much better than smelling those awful candles that her roommate lit every night. Getting a break from her was amazing, too. Hopefully when she returned there wasn't any dead rats in her bed or something.

"You know what we should do?" Claire leaned forward in her seat. "We should all go out for dinner or something tonight. You know, us, Derrick and Cam."

Massie opened her eyes. "That's a great idea! I'll make the reservations after we're finished here."

"Speaking of Cam and Derrick," Kirsten lowered the gossip-filled pages of her magazine. "I wonder if they found something to do."

**[ ]**

"Dude," Cam called to Derrick from the kitchen to the living room while he poked through the refrigerator. "Do you think Massie would mind if I open something in here?"

"Go for it," Derrick called back, not taking his eyes off the television set. "Her dad's probably paying for it anyways."

Cam came back into view opening the top of a can of Coke. "How loaded is her dad anyway? I mean the Presidential Suite? When she said room, I thought she meant like a room that _doesn't_ take up two floors."

"Hey, I ain't complaining," Derrick said as he kicked his brown low-top Nike Dunks off his feet and rested them on the table. Cam took a seat next to him on the couch.

"What are you watching? 24 reruns?" Cam sipped his soda as Jack Bauer forcefully interrogated someone on screen.

"Yeah. It's only the best show ever," Derrick said back. His dark haired friend nodded in agreement.

_North to south  
__Empty  
__Running on  
__Bravado  
__As if to say, as if to say  
__As if to say, he doesn't like chocolate  
__He's born a liar, he'll die a liar  
__Some things will never be different_

Derrick reached into his jeans and pulled out his RAZR. He flipped it open, silencing Bloc Party's 'Helicopter'. "Hello?"

"Hey Derrick, what's happening?"

Derrick took his feet off the table and leaned forward in surprise. "Chris? Chris Plovert is that you?"

Plovert laughed on the other line. "Yeah it's me."

"Is that Chris?" Cam asked. "What the heck happened to him anyway?"

"Dude, you'll never guess where I am right now," Derrick said into the phone.

"Where, Massie's pants?" Plovert joked.

"I'm at the presidential suite at the Plaza hotel," Derrick let Chris's comment slide right off him. He was used to his friends teasing him about his relationship with Massie. "_With Cam._"

"Holy shit, Cam Fisher?"

"Yep."

"Let me talk to him!"

Derrick tossed his phone over to Cam, who caught it with one hand and brought it to his ear. "Plovert! Hey dude, what's up? Where've you been?"

"I decided to go non Ivy, unlike the rest of you spoiled little bitches, and take my education to NYU," Plovert explained. "I had the potential and all, but the 'rents couldn't pay for it even with all the scholarships I managed to get."

"That sucks man. So where are you at right now?"

"At my crap apartment in SoHo. Why?"

"Maybe you could come hang out with us. I'd have to ask Massie though," Cam was pretty confident that wouldn't be a problem.

"Massie's there?" Chris sounded confused on the other line.

"Yeah and so is Dylan, Kirsten, Alicia and Claire. They're not here _here_ though, they are at some spa thing."

"Claire's there?" Plovert laughed. "Isn't she pissed off at you?"

Cam sighed. "She was. It's a long story, tell you later. I'll ask Massie if you can come hangout, so I'll call you back in a bit."

"Alright, peace."

"Uh, peace…" Cam hung up Derrick's phone and tossed it back to him. "Hey, go call your lover and ask her if Plovert could hang with us tonight."

Derrick pressed one on his speed dial, and then held the phone up to his ear.

"Hey Derrick!" Massie sounded happy that he called. In the background he could hear the rest of the PC's collective laughter.

"Hey Block, can Plovert come and hang out with us at the hotel?"

"Sure. Wait, where'd he come from?"

"He's in SoHo right now." Derrick picked at a thread that was hanging off the couch as he talked.

"Sure he can. Oh, and we're all going out to dinner tonight."

Derrick sighed. "Okay, if you insist."

Massie laughed as she picked up on his lack of enthusiasm. "Sorry. It was Claire's idea. Hey, I have to go Derrick. It's my turn for a massage!"

He smiled. "Alright, I love you."

"I love you too."

Derrick snapped his phone shut and tossed it on the couch. "She said it was cool. Oh, and we're going out to dinner tonight."

* * *

_empire state of mind _**by **_jay z feat. alicia keys_

**REVIEW.**


	10. Warning Sign

I haven't updated this in like seven months.... :)  
But then i got a review on it, remembered it, and then decided to update it.

So this chapter, is for every single person who's reviewed this story (And I'm actually going to list then all). (Oh, and if there's a [DOT] in your username, it's because it wouldn't show up otherwise.)

THANK YOU TO: teenybits, AnaBanana1, zomg sara much, :), xoJEWEL26, emeraldeyes101, Glamourous x33, Massie-at-heart-x0x0x0, beccz, drowning in technicolor dreams, humathepuma, blaneee, Sarcastic Twists, tal, lovetheclique, zero-hero[DOT]xoxo., Dancergirl, lovergirl[DOT]ns, and xoxoDDLSG. (Though most of them have reviewed several times throughout this story, so you guys are extra amazing :D)

* * *

Chapter Ten: _Warning Sign_

Claire's eyelids fluttered open. Sunlight streamed through the windows, illuminating the luscious suite bedroom. The fluffy beige down comforter was pulled over her shoulders, and in the light of a sunbeam it was causing her to roast.

She sat up and looked around the room, taking in her surroundings. Massie and Dylan were fast asleep beside her; Massie with a purple silk sleep mask on, and Dylan with her face completely covered up by a mass of fiery red hair. She laughed ever so quietly to herself as Dylan swatted at an invisible fly in her sleep.

She threw the sheets back and quietly walked to the door, hopefully without walking them up. As she passed the couch in the small living room just outside the bedroom, Claire noticed another girl draped on the upholstered surface, fast asleep. Her back was to her, but by the fan of dark hair that was sprawled out behind her Claire identified her as Alicia. A lump on the floor right in front of the couch had to be Kirsten.

The suite was serene. Claire made her way to the kitchen in silence (apart from the birds and the traffic outside), and the sunlight that streamed through the floor length curtains was almost heavenly.

As she turned into the kitchen/living area, a faint snore sounded from a mound on the couch. Curious, Claire snuck up around the coffee table to get a better look, and let out a small laugh when she saw his face.

Cam.

His face was pressed up against the seat cushion with his mouth slightly open, from which a soft snore would escape every now and then. He looked actually quite peaceful when he slept, and Claire couldn't help but watch him for a minute.

He must've lost the rock paper scissors match with Derrick over the bed, because Cam's tall frame barely fit on the length of the couch. Strands of his dark hair hung in his face, and Claire resisted the urge to brush them away. In the light she could see the light freckles that dusted the bridge of his nose, and the small mole on the side of his neck.

He shifted in his sleep. Claire froze.

It would be really awkward if he awoke to her standing over him, watching him sleep.

She straightened up, and hurried on over to the kitchen.

**[ ]**

Central Park was alive. Every leaf on every tree was bright with fall colors, and the grass was so green it looked artificial.

Massie lounged on the grass as she watched Derrick play pass with Chris and Cam. She giggled as he attempted to kick the ball over his head, a move he called the Rainbow. Instead of going straight up liked it was supposed to, it went backwards and hit Plovert on the side of the leg.

"So you and Cam all good?" Massie asked Claire, who was sitting on the ground next to her, texting on her LG Shine.

"Uh, yeah," Claire said incredulously. "Where've you been?"

"Just seeing if it was still awkward or anything," Massie said simply. "You know, with Colter and all."

"I don't think it has been," Claire said. "It might be for Cam, but Colter doesn't seem to have an issue with us being friends, and neither do I."

Massie shrugged. "Whatever you say."

Dylan was being unusually quiet today. Massie watched her as she picked at the grass, her deep red manicure popping out against her gray and black outfit. She chose to wear black skinny jeans and a grey cardigan. The only color in her outfit was her hair, her nails, and the pair of Red Marc Jacob flats on her feet.

What's up Dyl?" Kirsten playfully threw a blade of grass at her friend. She probably noticed something was up with her as well.

"Nothing. Anyone want ice cream?" Dylan stood up, dismissing the topic quickly.

Alicia's eyebrows crinkled. "It's only eleven. How could you want Ice Cream?"

Dylan shrugged. "I just do. So is that a no everyone?" Nobody said otherwise, so Dylan walked to the path in search of an ice cream cart.

"That was weird..." Kirsten said, blinking.

"It's October. Where is she going to find an Ice Cream vendor?" Claire wondered out loud.

"No clue. Anyway," Alicia dismissed the subject and leaned toward Massie a little, her dark eyes gleaming. "It's the last night we're all in town. What's the schedule like?"

Massie shrugged. "We could go shopping on 5th avenue, go out for lunch, possibly go clubbing…"

Claire wrinkled her nose. "I don't really want to go clubbing. I mean, being groped by random people you don't know?"

"Please Claire," Alicia rolled her eyes. "I highly doubt that will happen. You watch too much TV. And besides, I don't think Cam would even allow them to come within a five-foot radius from you." At this comment, Claire sent a nasty glare in her friend's direction, but Massie stepped in before the blonde could retort back.

"Okay, so clubbing is off the list." She bit the end of the pen and thought of something they could all do together. "Uh, how about we just start by getting lunch and then talking about it then?"

"I can't believe we've been living in New York for almost our entire lives and we don't even know of anything interesting to do in the city," Said Kristen.

"That is kind of weird," Alicia admitted. "But then, we weren't really in the city that much and when we were, it was mostly just for shopping."

Massie looked off into the distance. The skyscrapers and structures of the city were visible from all sides, like a wall of concrete jungle closing them in from all sides.

**[ ]**

Derrick took three steps back from the soccer ball, and then shot it into the goal. It was frigid; his breath became mist as it left his mouth. He jumped up and down for warmth, but it didn't work. Derrick decided to take a short jog around the field instead.

As he ran, he thought of the past couple of days, the ones he spent reunited with his friends and Massie. _Ah, Massie. _A small smile spread out on his face when he thought of his beautiful girlfriend. He loved her, and that would never change. But lately, well, he's been… _distracted._ He can't quite place what it is exactly, but something has been making him feel more distant with Massie. Maybe it's the long distance or something. He wanted their relationship to last, but something did seem lacking. Though he couldn't place what it was.

When he had completed a full lap around the field. He turned back to the goal to retrieve his ball. He noticed someone else coming through the opening in the chain link fence, a Nike warm up bag slung over her shoulder.

"Hey Derrick!" Sam Renolds called and made her way over, a red Diadora soccer ball tucked under her arm.

"Oh hi Sam," He said back, returning the pleasant smile. When she reached him, she dropped the ball on the ground and tightened her ponytail that hung tightly from the top of her head.

"So, you up for a little one-on-one?" She asked him, raising her eyebrow in a cocky manner.

"Sure," A smug look appeared on Derrick's face. "If you don't mind getting _whooped_."

Sam just laughed, and Derrick noticed how nice her laugh sounded. Like the ringing of small bells. "I highly doubt _you'll_ whoop _me_. I'm fairly confident it'll be the other way around."

"Yeah? Well then let's find out. First person to five," He offered. "And I call offence."

Sam began to walk back up to the halfway line. "Fine, but I call offence."

Derrick stood at the top of the 18-yard box, waiting as Sam turned to face him at the mid-way line. "Ready?" Derrick flashed her a thumbs-up. Then she began to dribble down the field.

Derrick waited until she got a little closer before he charged to her and stole the ball with ease. After he dribbled to the halfway line, he turned around smugly. "See?"

Sam rolled her eyes. "That was just one. I could still win."

Fifteen minutes later, the score was 4-4. Sam dribbled down the field, and Derrick ran to meet her, but Sam pulled a fast move and faked out Derrick, sending him left while she pushed right. She sprinted past the 18-yard box with Derrick not far behind. Once she was nearing the goal box, she swung her leg back and shot the ball into the net.

"Yeah!" Sam stopped and turned around, a smug smile on her face this time. "See I told you that you would lose."

Derrick just jogged up to her, grinning. "Yeah I lost," He grabbed her arm and pulled her into a kiss. His thoughts raced as their lips were intertwined, though the only thing not going through his mind was about the most important of them all.

_Massie.

* * *

_

_Warning Sign - _Coldplay

Guess who should review?

_You. _  
You should :)


	11. House of Cards

I swear, I'm missing a chapter. I'm missing the dinner chapter in NY. I think. Does anyone remember it from last time, because I think I'm going crazy.

Anyway, I don't think I have anything important to say, but if I do and I forget then the livejournal is where to find it.

THANK YOU TO: **imlying**, **soccergrrl62**, **CBlover1812**, **drowning** **in** **technicolor** **dreams**, **xoxoDDLSG**, and **Sarcastic** **Twists**.

* * *

Chapter Eleven: _House of Cards_

Dylan leaned against the library shelf; ignoring the pain the few hardcover books poking into head brought her. She had spent her day trying her hardest to avoid Josh, having still not responded to the text she got over the weekend.

**JOSH: DYL, CAN'T GET YOU OUT OF MY HEAD. WE NEED TO TALK.**

She need time to think about her response, after all. What would one say to a text like that from their best friend's boyfriend?

Kirsten had started to like Josh in their junior year, after Alicia broke up with him for good or course, and they have been together ever since. It would be wrong to steal him and just start going out with him, and not something a best friend would do to another friend.

And what about Kemp? Even though there was no chance in hell that Dylan would try a relationship again with him, he obviously wants to get back together. Wouldn't he feel upset about it too?

So there were many reasons why Dylan Marvil _shouldn't_ go out with Josh Hotz, mainly having to do with the feelings of other's. But as she slid down into a sitting position, a thought swirled like a blizzard in her head.

What if she _wanted_ to go out with Josh?

**[ ]**

Cam watched as his customized Nike Air Morgan's crush the yellow and red leaves as he walked, letting out a nice crisp crunching sound. His parents had told him he could get a pair just after they had moved, and customized ones were normally expensive. It was a bribe- something to make him forgive his parents for forcing him to move up to Michigan. So Cam had purposely picked out the most expensive ones he could find. And now, as he watched them take one step after the other, he couldn't help but glare at them.

Cam looked up at the sound of a set of hurried footsteps headed his way. He raised his head to see Claire speed-walking up to him, her completely familiar worried look on her face.

"What's wrong?" Cam asked, a little worried at what her response would be.

Claire smiled at him quickly before averting her gaze to the groups of students walking along the campus. "Nothing's wrong, I just can't find Colter and I haven't seen him since Friday."

The worried expression left Cam's face, and was instantly replaced with a look of annoyance. She was looking for _Colter_. That's what was so wrong. He had been trying to keep a smile on his face (and his food down) every time he saw the two of them together, but in actuality it hurt him, and he hardly even knew the guy. His mother always told him not to judge things or people by their covers, but for this Colter guy, he could make an exception. Claire deserved her own happiness though, and if Colter was the source of it then so be it. He guessed he'd have to deal with it.

But did she know that it pained Cam to even think about her and Colter together, let alone see them together? Is that why she's doing this- to get back at him for what happened almost two years ago? Claire didn't seem like the type to do something like that, but that haunting thought still seemed to enter his mind when he lied atop his bed at night, mulling the situation over.

"Um no, I haven't seen Colter around," Cam tried to disguise the bitterness in his voice as he spoke.

"Oh," Claire's brows furrowed in frustration, and her tone had a disappointed ring to it.

"_Claire!"_

Claire turned around to see who called her name, and Cam let in a sharp intake of breath. _Well, speak of the devil…_

Colter came to a stop at the two of them, grinning at the shorter, blonder of the three. "There you are," he said to Claire. "I've been running around campus looking for you," Even if he claimed he ran around the whole campus, he didn't give off any evidence. His hair wasn't windblown, and he wasn't out of breath. _Either he exaggerates, _Cam though bitterly. _Or he's a liar._

"You were?" Claire was smiling at Colter like he just told her that the Sweet Factory was giving out free two-pound bags of gummy worms. "That's funny, I was too. We must've just missed each other."

"Yeah, that is funny," Colter turned to Cam, probably just realizing he was there. "Oh, hey Cam."

"Yo," Cam's answered in monotone. Then he turned to Claire. "I'm gonna split. I have to get to the library before it closes."

"Really?" Cam was pleased to hear the disappointment in Claire's voice. But she sighed and said, "Fine, go study. I'll catch you later?"

But Cam didn't respond. He was already walking away from the couple, revolted to even be within a five-foot radius of them.

**[ ]**

_Mental note: Find a nail place that actually gives a decent Mani/Pedi._

Alicia Rivera was sitting on a red leather couch in the waiting room right outside the Dean's office staring at her bare toes through her peep toe sling backs, when she noticed that the pedicure she got right before the weekend was already starting to come off. She checked her hands and discovered that the manicure she got the same time, same place was peeling as well. Cheep. It was critical that she got to a nail salon as soon as she got out of here.

And this brought her to the reason she was there in the first place.

"Miss Rivera? The Dean can see you now," The slightly round secretary announced. Without getting up from her desk (or even looking up), she stuck her hand out and motioned to the door with _Dean Phillips_ painted on the polished wood.

Alicia turned the brass knob, and slowly pushed the door open.

Inside the Dean's office was like being inside a museum. Pictures of class groups hung on the wall closest to the door, and on the opposite wall stood a huge first place trophy in a glass case. The only light source was two windows that overlooked the Princeton campus, and hanging in the small piece of wall in-between them was a school pennant with a Tiger on it, the school's mascot.

And sitting at the desk below the windows was Dean Phillips, who was peering over his spectacles at Alicia.

"Have a seat," He motioned his hand to one of the two small black leather chairs that faced the desk. And as confidently as she could, Alicia lowered herself onto the closest seat.

"So, I'm assuming you know why you are here?" Dean Phillips asked as he folded up the newspaper he was reading before she came in. Alicia didn't respond, because she really had no idea why. "No? Can't you think of any reason as to why you are sitting here?"

Alicia still stayed silent. What had she done to have a letter awaiting her for when she returned from New York, informing her of this meeting? Uh, _she_ wasn't the one who sent it.

The Dean's eyes had no emotion behind them as he spoke. Talk about creepy. "It couldn't have anything to do with your _grades_ now, could it?"

_Ohh!_ So the old man called her in here to discuss her grades. Well that cleared one thing up.

"Princeton, as you know, is an Ivy League school," The Dean folded his hands at his lap. "We get hundreds of applications a year from acceptable students wanting to become a part of the Princeton student body. So why would we put up with a student who is hardly willing to show up to class?"

"_Um, because my parents are loaded?"_ Alicia considered saying. But she stayed silent; it didn't seem like Dean Phillips cared how much green is spilling out of her parents Gucci pockets.

"We've gave you plenty of chances to get on the right track," The balding man continued. "But you have ignored them. So, as unfortunate as it is for me to say this, we are expelling you from Princeton University, effective immediately."

* * *

_House of Cards_ - Radiohead

Review, fool.


	12. Landslide

I HAVE AN EXCUSE. Haha, my internet was being stupid. So, I'm sorry.

THANK YOU TO: staceyluvsjuicy, xoxoDDSLG, CBlover1812, and Love Never Fails.

* * *

Chapter Twelve: Landslide

Zack Wright had always liked the Yale library.

It was quiet, serene, and had that olden feel to it. The feeling he always got whenever he was in a museum. And thankfully, Zack liked museums.

The library was also the place where a certain dirty-blonde would always study.

See, Zack had always been the shy type when it came to girls. Something about them made him nervous and paranoid that he was going to say something stupid and embarrass himself.

This is why he didn't even know her name. All Zack knew about her was that she is really pretty, tall, likes to study, and did he mention really pretty?

So day after day, the dirty blonde would come into the library and take a seat at one of the two wooden long tables in the library. Zack (who would sometimes be looking through a shelf for another book on the Holocaustor or some other historical event) would see her, and then find a way to watch her without making it seem like he's a stalker.

Today, Zack was settled in one of the seats at the long oak table, hiding himself behind a book he snatched last minute off the shelf. Across from him, the girl sat typing away on her laptop, not seeming to notice him.

Which for Zack, was _awesome_.

**[ ]**

Kristen looked around the old library, feeling uncomfortable. Yale's library reminded her of old people, and every time she was around them she felt the need to run to the nearest mirror and check for wrinkles and grey hairs.

Plus, they didn't smell too hot either.

Her eyes wandered across the steady wood table. A boy with reddish brown hair was staring intently through his glasses at the pages of a book, which happened to be upside down.

Kristen shook her head. _Some kids here are _clearly_ whacked up_.

The heavy library door creaked open, bringing with it a gust of chilly late October air and a tall brunette girl. Kristen waved her over.

Samantha Renolds sat down in the vacant seat next to her friend, unwrapping her scarf in the process. "Hey."

"Hey Sam," Kristen spoke quietly, nearly whispering. "What's new?"

"Nothing really…" Sam grinned sheepishly, a dead giveaway that she was hiding something.

"Tell me now, or so help me you will find out how much Romeo and Juliet hurts," Kristen held the tattered book up threateningly.

"Peace, peace," Sam flashed the peace sign with both hands. "And why were you reading that again?"

"I wasn't, someone left it here," Kristen tossed the book back on the table. "So what's up?"

"Well, like two days ago- wait, why is that guy staring at us?" Sam nodded across the table, where upside-down-book-boy ducked back behind the old leather cover.

Kristen rolled her eyes. "I don't know. He's been doing that all day. So what happened two days ago?"

Sam ran a hand through her dark waves. "So, two days ago, I went down to the soccer field to shoot on the goal a little, right? Well, your friend Derrick was down there, so I challenged him to a little game of one-on-one. We played for a bit, and then, well…."

After waiting for a few seconds, Kristen made hand gestures for her to continue. "And…? What happened?"

Sam took a deep breath, before spitting the next sentence out of her mouth with a grin. "He kissed me!"

"WHAT?!" Kristen stood up, nearly knocking her brand new Macbook Air off the table in the process. Every student in the library looked up at her; each one of them with their own version of a '_What the hell?'_ look across their faces.

"Kristen, chill out," Sam whispered, tugging on the sleeve of Kristen's sweater for her to sit down.

"He did _what?_" Kristen couldn't believe it. Derrick kissed Sam. When he's going out with Massie. What. The. _Fuck._

"Dude, it's just a kiss," Sam said. "What's the big deal?" By this time most of the library had gone back to what they were doing; still a little ticked they were disrupted in the first place.

"_The big deal?"_ Kristen repeated, a little dumfounded. _I have to talk to Derrick._ She began grabbing her books and her computer and stuffed them into her backpack. "I'll see you later, I have to go."

Ignoring, Sam's confused protests, Kristen ducked out the door and down the concrete steps, wondering if all guys usually screw things up sooner or later.

**[ ]**

The front pocket of Derrick's jeans vibrated, sending the pulsation throughout his body. Derrick winced as he took his RAZR out of his pocket and flipped it open.

**Cam: dude, this colter guy is pissing me off  
Derrick: so what are you gonna do about it?  
Cam: i don't know! i mean claires happy with him so idk...  
Derrick: or is she?  
Cam: no i'm pretty sure she is.**

Derrick rolled his eyes. Only an idiot could ignore the way those two acted together over the weekend. He was about to tell his friend this, but was stopped when someone spun him around in his desk chair.

Kristen stood there, out of breath and fuming. "Why the hell did you do it?" She spoke through teeth clenched so tight, you would think her jaw would've broken off.

"What are you talking about?"

"What am I talking about? _You friggen kissed Sam!"_

Derrick looked guilty. "Oh, you know about that?"

"Yeah, I just found out," Kristen was calmer and spoke more quietly now. "What about Massie?"

Derrick froze. His amber-eyes girlfriend never even crossed his mind once when he had kissed Sam. "What about her?"

Kristen scoffed. "Well, being your _girlfriend_ I'm pretty sure she'll have some issue with this."

"Shit," Derrick cursed. Kristen was right; Massie would be so angry, and so hurt. What the hell did he get himself into?

"I think," Kristen began, her expression and demeanor softening as she gave him advice. "That you should break it off with one of them. You can't stay with Massie and pretend you never kissed Sam, and you most definitely cannot lead Sam on." She began to walk backward slowly to the dorm door. "So I'm thinking you have to pick."

Derrick groaned. He had to _pick?_ Why can't he just have some physic dog do it for him?

"Seriously," Kristen said before she disappeared through the door. "You have to pick."

**[ ]**

Massie cranked the volume up on her iHome. Train's _Hey, Soul Sister_ filled her dorm room, and she was glad that her roommate was off at some Halloween thing that night. _She's probably worshiping some voodoo lord or something_ Massie thought with a smile.

Massie, Cam and Claire were going into the city again for Halloween (Claire was hanging out with Cam more than Colter these days), so she picked up one of her many black cocktail dresses that was hanging on the doorknob and held it up to herself in the mirror. She was about to put it on when her iPhone rang out from her desk.

_I change shapes just to hide in this place  
But I'm still, I'm still an animal  
Nobody knows it but me when I slip  
Yeah I slip, I'm still an animal_

"Hey!" Massie said cheerfully into her phone without checking the collar ID

"Um, hey Massie," Derrick said from the other line.

"What's up?" Massie smiled when she heard Derrick's voice, not paying any notice to how nervous he sounded at the moment.

"See, uh, here's the thing," Derrick paused. "If we weren't miles apart I would say this to your face, but uh…"

"Say what?" Massie rolled her eyes. Derrick could be really weird sometimes.

"Uh, I think we should break up."

* * *

Massie's ringtone was Animal by Miike Snow (Yes, with two i's)  
And the Chapter title is from Fleetwood Mac's Landslide.

And, you should review :D


	13. Say All I Need

Would it be masochistic for me to say that I enjoyed your reviews from last chapter?  
I mean, I know the majority of you had said variations of, "NOOOOOO! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? DIEEEE." but I think that it's a good thing. Why? Because I now know that I have made you emotionally attached to the story, which for the most part was my goal.

And this chapter probably won't help things either- it's more of a setup/filler.

THANK YOU (AND SORRY) TO: Cella Fille, CBlover1812, xofldhckyxo, Love Never Fails, xoxoDDSLG, and FlyWithMe[dot]BCBG.

* * *

Chapter Thirteen: Say (All I Need)

This week had not been a good one for Josh Hotz.

First off, Dylan was avoiding him. He knew the text he sent her almost a week ago was bold, but he couldn't help what he was feeling. Dylan was fun, feisty, sweet- things that Josh liked. He thought she was perfect for him.

And now, his ears were going numb from the chilly November air. Maybe walking back to his dorm from the pizza parlor five blocks away from campus wasn't a bright idea…

"Josh!"

He turned, and saw Dylan running up to him with her red hair flying out behind her.

"Oh," Wasn't she avoiding him? He tried to hide the confusion from his features when he greeted her. "Hi Dylan."

"So, um, about that text you sent me last week-" She began, but Josh hastily cut her off.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. If it made you uncomfortable or anything, I'm sorry. I won't do anything like that again."

Dylan looked him in the eye- green on brown. "But I want you to do something like that again."

"What?"

That was the only thing Josh managed to get out before he found Dylan pressing her lips to his.

**[ ]**

"Massie!" Claire pounded her fist on the dorm door, the number 761 rattling slightly each time her fist made contact with the wood. "You can't stay in there forever!"

"Watch me!" Was the curt reply. Claire exhaled. She returned home from her date last night with Colter to find Massie shut up in her dorm- not coming out or letting anyone in. Her roommate had to get the dorm adviser to let her in.

Claire groaned and turned to Cam. "She's been in there all day, and I can't get her out. She won't even tell me why."

"I think I might know why," Cam looked solemn as he motioned for Claire to come with him. "Come on, let's take a walk and I'll tell you."

**[ ]**

"So I was getting these texts from Derrick, asking for advice on something," Cam explained while he and Claire strolled around campus. "It sounded like girl problems."

"So he was having issues with Massie," Claire concluded. But Cam shrugged, not knowing the answer himself.

Claire thought for a moment, before speaking again. "But I don't remember Massie saying anything about fighting with him, and they seemed completely happy that one weekend."

"Yeah," Cam said softly. They did, and it just really bothered him how two people who were so happy, so right for each other can just be over like that. In a way, it almost reminded him of himself and Claire. He assumed they would be together for the long haul, but things just happened.

"Well if she won't come out of her room I'll text her," Claire's LG Shine materialized from her pocket. She slid it open and her thumbs flew across the small keyboard. "My mom really needs to know the answer…"

"Um, answer to what?" Cam asked, generally curious.

"Oh, well her and Kendra wanted Massie and I to come back home for Thanksgiving weekend. Which also reminds me," She tucked her phone back into her pocket and faced Cam. "I told my mom that you go here, and then Todd found out and now wants you to come too. So, do you wanna go?"

"Sure," Cam smiled at the idea of spending a weekend with Claire all by themselves – with the exception of Masse. And her parents. And Claire's parents. And Todd.

Okay, so they weren't going to be alone. But hey, at least Colter won't be there. "But I think my parents wanted me to fly back to Michigan. I'll ask anyway."

Claire's smile seemed genuine. "Honestly, I really hope you do come. Not only because you can help keep Todd out of my face, but I really want you to see what's changed out there. It'll be just like old times."

_It'll be just like old times._ Did she mean back when they were dating?

Whatever she meant, her words sent a pleasant smile to Cam's face that wouldn't seem to go away.

**[ ]**

Derrick laughed. He was sitting across from Sam at a booth in a small diner, the two of them sharing a basket of fries.

"I know! God, my sister can be such a moron sometimes…" Sam trailed off and helped herself a French fry, dunking it in ketchup before biting off the end.

"So what are your plans for Thanksgiving going to be like?" Derrick asked after a minute or two of a comfortable silence.

"I'm going to fly back to Seattle to visit my family."

"You're from Seattle?"

Sam nodded. "I love it better than any city in the world. I mean sure, it rains a lot. But once you get used to it, all the days spent in overcast don't really bother you." She reached for the peppershaker and fiddled with it a bit, twirling it in her hands. "And what are your holiday plans?"

"I haven't figured that out yet," Derrick said honestly. "My mom's been bugging me about coming back to Westchester, but I don't really want to go. I kind of like it out here."

"You shouldn't spend Thanksgiving alone," Sam said, shaking her head a little. "If I were you, I'd go see your mom, even if you don't want to."

A sigh escaped Derrick's lips. "I know, I know," He looked up into Sam's blue eyes. "So, you want to go catch a movie or something?"

There was a silence as Sam thought it out for a moment. Then she asked coyly, "What's the 'or something'?" Derrick noticed how her eyes flickered with curiosity.

He grinned sheepishly and leaned across the table, connecting his lips with Sam's.

Sam laughed, breaking off their kiss. "You're so cheesy."

"What?" Derrick found himself chuckling. But he got no response; Sam was slumped back against her seat, laughing. "Okay, okay," Derrick said, after watching the brunette laugh for a few minutes. "I'll admit that was pretty cheesy."

"Pretty cheesy?" Sam repeated, managing to control her laughter long enough to speak. "That was _completely_ cheesy."

Still smirking, he rolled his eyes. "Yeah, okay." He raised himself out of the booth and held out his hand. "Let's go catch a movie now."

**[ ]**

An embroidered red photo album titled '_The Life of Alicia Rivera'_ fell into a cardboard box, atop a bed comforter and a few photo frames. Before she taped the box closed, Alicia studied the old photo album, a picture with her and the Pretty Committee displayed on the cover.

In the photo, Massie's arms were tight around Alicia, flashing a toothy grin. Photo Alicia had her arms around Massie as well, and the same look was mirrored in her own face. Claire was standing at Massie's other side in a James Bond-like pose; her fingers clasped together like a pistol. Her face looked serious, but the ghost of laughter was still present on her features. And Kirsten and Dylan were kneeling on either side; Dylan with a wild expression while raising her arms as if she was on a roller coaster, and Kirsten just smiled and flashed the peace sign. The picture was taken a few minutes before their graduation ceremony, so each girl was sporting a simple black graduation cap and gown.

She sighed, remembering the good times for a moment before taping the box closed and standing up to admire her work.

Her dorm was now completely packed away in boxes; all she had to do now was find some way to get it all to the airport. A one-way ticket to New York was sitting in her old Coach handbag, reminding her that in a few short hours she would be sitting first class on her way to the city.

On her way home.

* * *

Say (All I Need) - OneRepublic

See, it was very filler.  
And the next chapter is Thanksgiving (in March! woohoo!), and if I stick to the main outline of my previously written chapter then it should be pretty intense. Maybe.

As for Come Out of the Shade, I'm kinda stuck.  
You know when you know where you want your story to go, but you just don't know how to get it there?  
Yeah, that's never fun.

REVIEW?


	14. Hear You Me

Three day weekend. Hopefully, that means more updates.

THANK YOU: WakeMeUpWhenItsYesterday, Sydney (i know! it's been so long. but it seems like your never on your account anymore, haha), CBlover1812, and xoxoDDSLG (and thanks for the long reviews lately :D).

* * *

Chapter Fourteen: Hear You Me

"I love this song," Claire stated before turning the volume up on the radio. She bounced a little in the buttery seats of Massie's BMW M6 Coupe as the start of a very upbeat song filled the luxury car.

"_There's only two types of people in the world  
The ones that entertain, and the ones that obser-"_

Massie leaned forward and stabbed the power button, silencing the song mid lyric and leaving the car in silence.

"You turned off Britney," Cam joked from the back seat, the laugher and feign shock apparent in his voice. He leaned forward between the two front seats to address Massie. "How could you?"

Massie ignored him, turning back to the window to watch the trees pass in blurs. She would've been able to see the morning sun glowing on the yellow treetops but the round black Prada sunglasses over her eyes gave the day a darker feel. Just how she wanted it.

Claire shot Cam a look in the rearview mirror. It was Thanksgiving, and Massie should not _still_ be acting like this. And as Claire averted her eyes back to the road that lay in front of her, she swore that by the end of this weekend she would knock her friend out of this funk.

**[ ]**

The Block Estate loomed over Claire as she drove Massie's car up the driveway. It still had that powerful feel it had five years ago when Claire first moved to Westchester. But that was before Claire knew how wonderful Westchester was, before Claire was friends with Massie and the rest of the Pretty Committee, before Claire met Cam. She couldn't deny it- Cam was a big part of what made her so crazy about Westchester. And then when he left…

Well, it sucked big time.

Peeking into the rearview mirror again as she slowed the car to a stop, she glimpsed at Cam as he wrapped his ear buds around his iPod Touch before slipping it into his backpack. To her right, Massie pulled her door open and stepped outside, the crunch of her shoes on gravel was the last thing Claire heard before the door slammed shut.

"Well, this should be fun," Cam said with a smile etched on his face.

Claire grinned. "Don't I know it."

**[ ]**

As Massie had already strode inside the vast estate, Claire and Cam followed, sanding awkwardly in the foyer. "Uh, hello?" Claire called.

"Claire!" Judi Lyons appeared from the kitchen and went to hug her daughter. "You're here!"

"Mom," Claire said as her mother engulfed her in a hug. "I've missed you."

"I missed you to sweetie," Judi's voice was muffled, as her faced was pressed into Claire's hair.

"There's my Claire bear!" Claire broke away from her mom to see her father surface from William Block's office, with William himself not far behind.

"Dad!" Claire rushed over and embraced Jay Lyons into a hug.

"We're so glad you could make it Cam," Cam, who was previously standing awkwardly in the foyer, jumped a little at William's voice.

"Glad to be here," Cam extended his hand to shake with Massie's dad. "Thanks for having me."

"Anytime dear," Judi said. She gave him a quick hug.

"Does anyone know why Massie's acting upset?" Everyone looked up at the staircase, where Kendra Block stood, looking elegant as always in head to toe designer wear. "She came in the house a few minutes ago without saying anything to anyone and went up to her room."

"Um," Claire decided not to tell her parents about her break up with Derrick. If Massie wanted to tell them, then she will. "I have no idea. Want me to go talk to her?"

"Just at least ask her to come down and say hi, please," Kendra continued to descend the stairs to stand at her husband's side. "And Cam, is it?" Cam nodded his head, his dark hair falling in his eyes. "I think we've arranged to have you sleep in the guestroom upstairs. Just up down the hall and the first door on the right."

Cam thanked both Massie and Claire's parents before following Claire up the stairs with the luggage.

"I think I'm going to unpack and get settled," Cam stated when they were in front of the guestroom. "You and Massie should talk by yourselves."

"Yeah," Claire agreed. "I think that might be a good idea, considering you could blab to Derrick as soon as you get the chance."

Cam gasped, his face drenched in a look of mock hurt. "I would never!"

"Mmmhmm, sure," Claire smiled at him. "See you downstairs?"

"See you downstairs." Cam repeated before entering the guestroom. The door closed behind him with a snap.

Claire soon found herself facing Massie's door, and she lightly rapped her knuckles against the wooden surface. "Massie? It's Claire. Can I come in?" There was no response, so Claire pushed the door open slowly.

Massie was standing at her closet, her arms crossed over her chest. A mountain of clothes covered the usually neat floor of her bedroom, scattered about to cover the cream carpet in an even layer. But in even in all the mess, Claire could still see Massie's old room; still see where The PC had their weekly sleepovers. Over at the foot of Massie's bed was where they would read gossip magazines whilst gossiping about their own lives. And near the computer desk was where they would always wait around for the boys to iSight them. Claire could almost hear the _ding!_ of the computer and see Derrick, Cam, Josh, Chris and Kemp's thirteen-year-old self's grinning on the screen.

"Are you okay? Your mom asked me to check on you, and you've barely said a word to me in a few days," Claire took a few steps out of the doorway so she could shut the door. Massie wouldn't open up with the possibility that everyone could hear her.

"I'm fine Claire," Massie turned around. Her sunglasses were off, and Claire could see why she had them on. There were some severe bags under her eyes; a real difference to what she normally looks like. "I'll get over it." She sighed and wiped her hands on her grey skinny jeans.

"I think your mom also wanted you to come down and say hi to everyone," Said Claire.

Massie exhaled. "Um, sure," She looked around at the mess she had made. "I guess I'll clean up here and I'll be right down. Can't seem to find what I was looking for…" Massie bent down to scoop up a pile of clothes, and Claire glimpsed at an old BOCD sweatshirt dangling from her arms, the name HARRINGTON gleaming in white across the back.

**[ ]**

Alicia groaned as she struggled with a heavy box. Having just found herself an apartment for a decent price, she couldn't wait to get everything set up and watch some reruns of Paris Hilton's My New BFF. But she underestimated her belongings and didn't bother to hire a moving company to do the lifting for her, leaving her to do it all by herself.

"Whoa," Somebody said. Alicia struggled to see the owner of the voice, but the box in front of her face was obstructing her view. "Need help?"

"Yes," Alicia managed to gasp out. Her arms gave way and the box was about to fall, but somebody caught it and half of the weight seemed to evaporate.

"Careful there," From the deepness of the voice, Alicia could tell it was a man. Now curiosity sparked inside of her. _Was he hot?_

The two of them began to shuffle over to Alicia's room and get out of the hallway, and as they turned to fit the box in through the door, Alicia strained to get a glimpse of his face.

"_Chris?_" Alicia almost dropped the box in surprise when she saw her helper's face, and Chris Plovert groaned under the weight. "Oh my god! Sorry!"

Plovert let the box fall and it hit the hard wood with an dull thud. He looked up at Alicia and shook his head before bending down to open the box.

"Shoes?" He asked incredulity. Sure enough, inside the cardboard box was half of the collection of shoes that was in the possession of Alicia Rivera.

"Well nobody asked you to paw through my stuff in the first place," Alicia retorted. "But anyway, _oh my god!_ I didn't know _this _was your apartment building," She had known he now lived in Soho, but she had completely forgotten all about him while checking out the place.

"Yeah, well I would've never guessed I'd see the day when Alicia Rivera lived in a Soho apartment," Chris scratched his head. "Aren't you supposed to be at Harvard or something right now?"

"It was Penn," Alicia rolled her eyes. "And I kinda, um, got expelled."

There was a brief silence of two seconds before Chris exploded into laughter. He bent other a clutched his stomach, all while Alicia watched, getting more and more frustrated.

"It's not funny!" She stomped her foot, and as preschool-ish as it was, it ceased Chris' laughter.

"I'm sorry," He said, still chuckling. "But I wonder if it would be inappropriate to say, I thought you would?"

Alicia frowned and narrowed her eyes. "Yes, yes it would."

She walked back out of her apartment and into the hallway, where the rest of her belongings were piled with Chris right behind her.

"I'm sorry," He said. "But um, it's Thanksgiving. Shouldn't you be with your parents or something?"

"_They_," Said Alicia while she slung a rug over her shoulder. "Decided that they would rather spend the holidays in Spain than with me, thinking that I would be loaded down with work from school."

"Ah, so I take it you haven't told them yet?"

"Nope," She stood and stormed back into her apartment. "And I don't plan to for a while." She dumped the rug on the floor and turned back to face him. "What's your excuse? Why are you alone for the holiday?"

Chris shrugged. "My uncle died, so my parent's are out in Oregon for the funeral."

"Oh." Alicia immediately felt bad. Personally, she had never been good with dealing with deaths of any kind. When she was seven she completely freaked out when her goldfish died. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. He was kind of an ass," Plovert said, waving his hand as if they were talking about something that didn't really matter. "So they wanted to drag me down there as well, but I didn't really want to go. I mean, I hate funerals. So I told them I had the flu."

The two of them were silent.

"Hey," Began Chris, "I was just out to get myself a turkey, and I managed to snag one before this lady could. It's in the oven now. You want to come over later?"

"Sure," Alicia smiled. "Yeah, I'd love to."

"Alright then," He smiled back, revealing straight, white teeth. "I'll see you then." Chris turned and began to walk out, but before he reached the door he turned back. "Oh, and I don't think your going to have enough room in the closet this place comes with for all those shoes. So I'd consider getting yourself one of those under-the-bed show organizers."

**[ ]**

"Could you cut these potatoes, Claire?" Judi asked, handing her daughter a bowl filled with small red potatoes.

"Sure thing. Excuse me, Kendra," Claire reached over Kendra to grab a kinfe out of the knife block, and carefully began to slice the potatoes into small pieces.

"Hey," Massie spoke as she entered the room. Claire looked up, and noticed that her friend had cleaned herself up well; applying more eye makeup and changing shirts from the plain white tank top she was wearing to a red v-neck sweater. She had to admit Massie looked way better then when they first arrived.

"Hey Massie!" Kendra and Judi both walked around the island counter to each take turns giving her a hug.

"Is there anything I can help out with?" Offered Massie as she eyed the various dishes being prepared.

"I think we're all good in here," Kendra said, looking at Judi for approval. "Why don't you two go for a walk around the neighborhood or something? It must be nice to be back here."

"Okay," Claire placed the knife down on the counter and wiped her hands on a towel. "Is Todd home? I haven't seen him around yet."

Judi glanced at the clock. "You know, he was supposed to be back a half an hour ago. I said he could sleep over at his friend Ryan's house if he comes back around ten-thirty, and he's late." She frowned, and placed one hand on her hip. "Remind me to ground him when he gets home."

Claire laughed and ran her fingers through her hair. "Alright, then I guess it's just me, you and Cam Mass,"

"That's more then fine," Massie said, no doubt remembering Todd's school boy crush on her that lasted until the moment she left her house for college.

**[ ]**

The brown and yellow leaves brought on by fall crunched under the shoes of Cam, Claire and Massie as they took each step. The traffic on the streets today was light, so a car flying past didn't disrupt the peaceful mood. The trio was reminiscing about their childhoods and their years of adolescents together.

"Remember that one time when Nina was in town, and you dumped milk on her head?" Claire laughed at the memory of seeing Alicia's cousin standing in the OCD lunchroom, drenched head-to-toe in milk.

"Ugh," Massie's amber eyes became slits at the mental vision of Alicia's big boobed, slutty cousin. "I hated her."

"Oh I remember her too," Cam said. "God, I couldn't stand her either."

"Yeah," Claire tried hard not to bring up that he ignored her for weeks because of that girl, and instead stared down the street at a green Toyota Prius beginning to grow on the horizon. "She was a piece of work." The trio walked in a comfortable silence, and soon the Prius was passing by. But the driver slammed on his breaks just after he had passed them.

They stopped and turned around, Cam stepping in front of the two girls protectively. But there was no danger, no men in black ski masks jumped out of the car, but instead an ecstatic Todd Lyons scrambled out of the passenger seat.

"Thanks for the lift, Nathan," Todd slammed the door and patted the roof of the car, the signal to drive off. Then the sixteen-year-old boy turned to his sister and her friends. "What's up fellas?"

"Todd!" Claire wrapped her brother in a bone-crushing hug.

Todd tried his hardest to pull away from the excited blonde. "Get offa me, woman! Your even more weird then you were before college."

After Claire reluctantly pulled away, Todd faced Cam and Massie.

"Cam, my man!" He raised his arm enthusiastically for a high five, and Cam returned the gesture half-heartedly. "I had no idea I'd ever see you again. It's been years!"

"Yeah," Cam said slowly, putting his hand back into the warmth of his jacket pocket. "It's been _way_ too long."

"And Massie," Todd raised his eyebrows seductively as he eyed the brunette. "Dumped Harrington yet?"

Claire and Cam froze, while Massie's eyes darkened.

"Todd," Claire said quickly, desperate to change to conversation. "Don't you have a girlfriend? Melody, or something?"

Todd's attention was pulled away, and he turned to face his big sis, scoffing. "Melody? I dumped her last week."

Cam raised his eyebrows at Claire, who shrugged in return. Who knew that Todd would even _get_ a girlfriend, let alone be the one to end the relationship?

"Now come on," Todd began to walk in the direction of the Block Estate. "Let's go home. I want turkey."

* * *

Hear You Me - Jimmy Eat World

Review? Please?  
Thank you :)


	15. Don't Panic

So, this is the last chapter with the structure rewritten from the old All We Are where all I had to do was edit it and add things and cut things.  
What does this mean?  
It means that I have to create an outline. I have to plan out every idea that's been bouncing around in my skull so that in a few chapters I won't get bored with this and want to call a rewrite. And, I have to actually write it (and you know how long THAT takes me).

Basically, what this means is that there will be (GASP) an even longer wait for the next chapter. I'm going to try to write as much as I can on this story in the next two weeks or so, and if I have a chapter to post, then I'll post it. But _Come Out of the Shade_ is my main priority, and I can barely keep updating that on a weekly basis :D

Anywho, thank you tooo... **SYDNEYY, WakeMeUpWhenItsYesterday, CBlover1812, xoxoDDSLG, Love Never Fails, and Courtney**.

* * *

Chapter Fifteen: _Don't Panic_

The enormous and elegant chandelier above the Marvil dining table always seemed to intrigue anyone who laid eyes upon it. With the crystals that seemed to always gleam, it wasn't difficult to get lost staring at it. That's were you found Dylan on this Thanksgiving- looking up at the chandelier from her seat at the long oak table.

"Dylan, pass the gravy," Merri Lee Marvil didn't look up from her _Vanity Fair_ as she spoke. Dylan sighed and passed the gravy boat to her mother.

It was just the two of them. Every other polished mahogany seat was empty, making Dylan feel more alone. Her mother had barely talked to her since she arrived from the airport last night, and she couldn't help but get the feeling that maybe Merri Lee didn't want her back home. Maybe she had more important things to do, like interviewing Obama or something. Dylan looked down at her plate, where a serving of pre-cooked turkey sat.

Her mother didn't even bother to actually _make_ the meal.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, but Merri Lee didn't seem to notice. So very discreetly, she pulled her phone out and read the message under the table.

**JOSH: hey babe. Happy thanksgiving (:**

Dylan smiled for the first time all day. Josh has been nothing but sweet for the past week they've been dating. And although it's not official (They have to keep it from Kemp and Kirsten afterall), she still loves hanging out with him.

**DYLAN: happy thanksgiving. hows your dinner?  
JOSH: good. mom made turkey. yours?  
DYLAN: horrid. mom doesn't give a whoop.  
JOSH: that sucks. wish i could make it better (:  
DYLAN: maybe you can…. you in westchester?  
JOSH: yup. but what if anyone sees us?  
DYLAN: oh. idk…  
JOSH: yeah. that sucks though.  
DYLAN: no kidding.  
JOSH: ): got to go. dads giving me a face. love you**

Dylan blushed. Josh had never said "I Love You" yet, and even though it was through texting and technically not the same thing, she couldn't help but feel giddy.

**DYLAN: love you too (:**

**[ ]**

The Block's dinner table was full, leaving everyone with barely enough elbowroom. Though, nobody seemed to mind. The festive mood really got to everyone, and the table was hardly silent; Kendra and Judi were talking about schools and gossiping about neighbors. William and Jay debating on sports, with Cam jumping in between their sentences and talking about school with Claire and Massie. Todd was just interrupting _everyone_, but not even Massie could hate him today.

"I think," Kendra said while cutting her turkey. "That we should go around the table and say what we're thankful for. Oprah seems to think it makes everyone feel more connected to each other."

Massie caught Claire's attention and rolled her eyes, causing the blond to snicker in her palm. Lately, her mother has been getting her advice from the Lady O instead of the polished pages of Cosmopolitan.

"I'll start." She placed her fork down on her plate and looked around at everyone. "I am thankful for my family, the Lyons' of course, and Pilates, for keeping my sagging rear in shape," Kendra smiled at the laughter that erupted from the table and turned to Judi, who was sitting on her right. "Your turn."

"Um," Judi thought for a moment before continuing. "I'm thankful for my family; Jay, Claire and Todd. And I'm also thankful for the Blocks for putting up with us for all these years," There were a few more chuckles around the table. "Okay, go Todd."

Todd cleared his throat. "Um, girls and Xbox live, I guess. Oh, yeah- and family," Cam and Claire exchanged looks at Todd's list, while the adults laughed. The sixteen-year-old looked across the table at Massie, a smirk on his face. "Don't worry Massie, I'm thankful for you too."

Massie glared at him, and was about to say something but was cut off by Jay listing what he was thankful for.

"My family, William and his family, the Yankees, and beer," Claire's father laughed to show everyone he was kidding about the last part, and soon the other adults joined in.

It was William's turn next. "My family, the Stock Market, and this house," He took a sip of the champagne they had out for the adults. "And I guess I'm thankful for you and your family, Jay." The two men laughed.

Massie waited until the laughter died down. "I'm thankful for my mom and dad, my friends, my BMW, and the fact that I have a good life," Sorrow flickered in Massie's as she said that last part, and Claire knew that she only said it to show everyone that she was fine. But Claire knew better.

"Family, Friends, Columbia for accepting me, and Westchester," Claire said quickly, looking down in her lap.

Cam was silent as he thought of what he was thankful for. Sure, he was thankful for his family and friends, but that's what everyone has said so far. He was thankful for Claire, because she had forgiven him and he now gets to hang out with her, which in itself was a gift everyday. He's thankful to be back in Westchester to see his old friends. And he's thankful for Claire and Massie's families for letting him spend Thanksgiving with them. But Cam knew that saying most of these things would not be appropriate at the moment, and he struggled to compile a list in his head. "Umm…"

Just then the doorbell rang, and Cam exhaled a breath he didn't realize he was holding. Saved by the bell- now he had more time to think.

Kendra got up from her seat and disappeared from the room, the sound of her heels clacking on the wood floors fading away as she retreated to the foyer.

"Who could that be?" William asked. He turned to everyone at the table "Are any of you kids expecting anyone?"

"No," Massie and Claire said in union. Cam shook his head.

Kendra reappeared from the doorway. "Todd, it's your friend. He says he wants his Call Of Duty back, whatever that is."

Todd's face reddened, and he left the room. "Dude, you said I could keep it!" His voice thundered throughout the room as he called out to his friend.

**[ ]**

"James Bond is my idol," Todd gushed as Daniel Craig chased down a criminal through a construction site on the Block's big screen.

"I'll bet," Cam muttered under his breath. The four of them (Todd, Claire, Massie and himself) were gathered in the screening room, watching Casino Royale. Massie and Claire's parents were out at a Thanksgiving benefit at The Westchester country club, leaving the four of them home alone.

Claire was sitting on one side of the suede couch in grey sweatpants and a navy Adidas t-shirt. Cam had a seat on the middle of the couch, still wearing his dinner attire of jeans and a black button down shirt. Todd was sitting on the floor in front of the couch, with Massie on the leather armchair.

"His character is such a womanizer, but Daniel Craig is smoking," Massie said.

"Well Massie," Todd turned to look at her. "I dressed up as him for Halloween. You wanna see the costume?" His eyebrows wagged up and down suggestively.

"Ew! No!"

"Stop bickering," Claire threw a pillow at Todd's head. "We can't hear the movie."

They watched the rest of the movie in silence, and when it was over, Todd stood up lazily and stretched his arms over his head.

"I'm going to bed," Todd began to leave the room. "Got to get my beauty sleep."

Massie smirked. "Trust me, it's going to take more than sleep to get you beautiful."

Todd gripped his chest and looked wounded. "Ouch. That hurt, Massie. Excuse me while I pull the knife out of my heart," He left the room, shaking his head. His footsteps could be heard as he thundered up the stairs.

"Wait a minute," Massie stood up. "This is the main house! His bedroom isn't even in here." She stormed out of the room in a frantic hurry. "I'll bet he's raiding my underwear drawer!"

Claire and Cam laughed as they heard Massie yelling up to Todd as she chased him up the stairs.

"It's good to be home," Claire sighed after the two of them stopped laughing.

"Yeah, it's good to be back in Westchester," Agreed Cam. He ran a hand through his dark hair. "Thanks again for letting me stay over."

"Technically you should be thanking my mom. But you're welcome."

"So…" Cam raked his brain for something to say. One thing crossed his mind, although it pained him to ask. "So how's Colter?"

Claire looked up, surprised he would ask about her boyfriend. "Um, he's fine. We're fine. Why do you ask?"

Cam scratched his neck. "I don't know… Just wondering…" But he knew the real reason why, and he decided to speak it. "No, wait… I asked because I want to make sure that you are happy," Cam looked up, straight into her eyes and continued with what he was saying. "Because that's all that matters to me."

Claire looked down at her lap. She wasn't comfortable with this conversation, although a small part of her was touched. And the whole thought of what he was saying was making her eyes water. _Great._

She looked up at him. "I am happy. I'm _really_ happy," _Liar_.Claire wiped her eyes on the back of her hand, trying hard to prevent the forming tears from falling. "And please stop saying stuff like that- it's not appropriate."

At the sight of her watery eyes, Cam felt miserable. "Are- Are you crying?" Claire turned away from him. The more he talked the more tears came to her eyes, and she didn't want him to see her crying. It would make her seem pathetic.

"I have to go," She tried to get off the couch, but he took hold of her wrist and pulled her back down and into his arms. Cam wrapped Claire in a hug, with her now sobbing into his chest. He felt awful. Yeah, he's held Claire before when she cried, but not when _he_ was the cause of it.

"I'm sorry," He whispered into her hair. "I'm sorry, Claire."

The two of them stayed like that for a while, even after Claire's eyes were dry. Both of them (no matter how they tried to deny it) liked where they were, and neither of them wanted to move.

Cam had his face on the top of Claire's head, and slightly pressed his lips into the mass of blond hair. God, he felt like such a dumbass. He there was a big chance he just ruined their newly patched friendship.

Though, as Claire's breathing reached a steady rhythm and her scent consumed his being, he couldn't help but think that it was worth it, just to be able to hold her in his arms like he did back when they were sixteen.

**[ ]**

Derrick exhaled, his breath leaving him in a long stream of mist. Thanksgiving was one of his favorite holidays. For the Harrington's it was spent with family gathered around a long table telling stories and eating a fantastic homemade meal. And this year, it was no different. Derrick got to spend time with his cousins and aunts. His older sister Sammi even made an appearance with her fiancé Oliver.

From his perch on the roof right outside of his old bedroom, he had a fantastic view of Westchester suburbia. The houses were lined up in neat little rows, almost looking too small to be inhabitable by humans. He could see Cam's old house with the porch light flickering in the night, and Josh's with most lights still on. And by force of habit, he counted three estates from the left on the row of larger houses.

The Block Estate was engulfed in darkness, though it's shape was still visible.

And Derrick couldn't help but think about Massie, and how she was doing. He knew she deserved better than being broken up with on the phone, and he knew that she was probably hurting right now. And that hurt him too. You don't just stop loving someone- you either love them forever or you never did in the first place. And Derrick did love Massie.

He doubted that what he had urged for with Sam on the football field was worth throwing away an almost three years straight relationship with the most amazing girl he had ever met, and he worried that it wasn't, and it was all a waste.

On that rooftop, Derrick Harrington let the doubts and worries he had been running from, finally catch up with him.

* * *

Don't Panic - Coldplay

The last bit wasn't originally on this chapter, but since lots of you want to see some more Massingtion/Dam (Bahaha, Derrick+Sam=Dam :D) action, I felt I should add it in for you. Plus, I felt Derrick's thoughts alone are very important to the whole situation.

Review, my-most-favorite-people-in-the-whole-world? (:

(**MAY3RD2010: **Has anyone else noticed that the dashes used to separate different parts of the story from the other have disappeared? I don't know if it's just my story, but it's bugging me. I'm trying to put them up now..)


	16. Make Believe

oh lawwdy. an update

(and i've only fixed the scene transitions for the chapters that are still in the document uploader. i'm going to get to the other ones now, but if you're reading this for the first time and it's still not yet changed, i'm sorry it made no sense :D)

THANK YOU: CBlover1812, kat :D, xoxoDDSLG, Jemmie :), WakeMeUpWhenItsYesterday, sydney!, rstar, adriannaameii, PCAlpha, and GoodBadAndEverythinInBetween.

* * *

Chapter Sixteen: _Make Believe_

The car ride home was (to say the least), awkward. Massie took control of the wheel this time and control of the radio. She figured that maybe if the droning tones of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs could make up for the blanket of silence that was draped over the car. Though, nothing could replace the usual corny jokes and laughter that these days normally came along with Claire and Cam.

Claire felt humiliated. She broke down in tears in front of her ex-boyfriend over a really stupid reason, and now they're not talking. God, she wanted to punch herself. If there was any hope of salvaging some type of friendship between them before it was surely ruined now. The cool glass of the passenger seat window chilled her forehead as she leaned against it; and the pressure it caused distracted from her pounding headache.

And from the backseat, Cam felt just as bad. He made Claire cry. Holy crap, he made Claire cry. Way to be an asshole, Fisher. He didn't mean to say what he said either, it just sort of slipped out. And as much as he'd like to, he can't just swallow those word back up. They're out there. For good. He guessed the only thing he could do was wait for the weirdness to pass. But as he looked at Claire's slumped form, the slight doubt that it ever would was just too much to ignore.

**[ ]**

Kristen seemed to be spending more time looking at her phone then her open textbook.

Josh hasn't called, texted, or even emailed her in _weeks_. She was starting to get concerned and worried. This wasn't like him- he used to call her everyday after his classes. But ever since that spa weekend, he's called her about three times, the last time being a week ago.

A knock at her door pulled her from her thoughts. Sighing, she ran her fingers through her hair before pulling the door open.

Sam stood on the other side in a pair of lightly torn light wash jeans, brown leather boots that stopped at her shins and a long navy tank top under a black cardigan. Her neck drooped in her many necklaces and her face faltered under the weight of her smile. "Hey Kris," She said, walking past the blonder of the two and taking a seat at the foot of her bed. "How are you?"

"Great," Kristen lied. "How about you?"

"Wonderful," Sam's eyes glazed over and her already wide smile stretched out even more. "Derrick and I are going along great. We have lots in common- It's like we're meant to be together or something, you know?"

Kristen didn't say anything. At some level, she felt obligated to take sides with Massie and start yelling at Sam about how wrong this was right now. But on the other hand, Sam was one of her first new friends at college, and as much as she was loyal to Massie she didn't want to jeopardize that. Besides, how could Sam have known that Derrick was already in a relationship when they had met for the first time?

Sam fingered Kristen's books at her desk. "So, do you want to blow off your homework and do something fun? Derrick had this idea of going into the city and seeing if-"

"Yeah, sure," Kristen said, cutting her off. She went to her closet and grabbed her jacket and shoes "Whatever." She pocketed her phone and followed Sam. Maybe a day out would distract her from it's empty inbox.

**[ ]**

"You know what we need to do?" Dylan said to Josh, her grip on his arm tightening.

The pair was taking a leisurely stroll around the campus, wrapped in their coats and scarves. As the weather cooled down and the leaves dropped from the trees, students at Dartmouth opted for indoor conditions rather than sitting outside to write their papers. But that's what made it so reclusive; nobody was around to bother them.

"What's that?" Josh asked.

"We need," Dylan spoke slowly. "To get the school to add a Starbucks on campus. I don't like walking three blocks to some local coffee joint."

"I kind of like it," Said Josh. "I think it's a little more cozy and intimate."

"You like intimate, huh?" A suggestive smile graced Dylan's features. "Now you're just giving me ideas."

A loud laugh sounded from Josh. He loved being with Dylan. She always had a positive attitude towards anything and almost no worries. Being with her just makes the rest of the world fade away. "Well, we can't do anything at my place," He said, playing along. "I think Kemp has his suspicions about us, and I don't want to upset him, you know?"

Oh, Dylan knew what he was talking about. Out of guilt, she hasn't spoken to Kristen in weeks. She pushed it to the far depths of her mind. "In that case, my door is always open."

**[ ]**

"Have you ever heard the saying that every time there is an awkward silence a gay baby is born?" Massie asked Claire, taking an armful of clothes from her open suitcase to her closet. "Because I'm sure a whole convoy was created in that car ride."

Claire ran her fingers through her long hair, pushing it from her face. "It's not funny Massie. I really think I've screwed things up again for us."

"Oh please," Massie returned to her bed for another scoop of clothes. "You two were together for _years_ and you still managed to maintain a friendship these past couple months. It's no big deal, really."

"No big deal?" Scoffing, Claire crossed her legs under her. "Massie, I freaked out and started crying on him when he was just being nice and looking out for me. It's so embarrassing, I feel like hitting myself in the face. Repeatedly."

Massie shrugged. "Blame it on that time of the month or something." Frankly, she felt that Claire was making a big deal over nothing. So she cried in front of him. It wasn't the end of the world.

Claire fell back against the bed, letting out a huge groan. Massie just didn't understand. Her friendship with Cam was already weird, as their past was like the freaking mammoth in the room. She had really missed Cam when he was gone, and now that he was back she didn't want anything to mess it up. But the embarrassment over this was still pretty high. "You know, I guess I could just pretend it never happened."

"You should," Massie said. "Actually, no. Don't do that. Do you remember in _When Harry Met Sally_, how they pretended like they never had sex and then things got weird and it almost wrecked their entire relationship?"

Claire sat up and blinked. "Massie, we didn't have sex. I just cried."

Scoffing, Massie crossed her arms over her chest. "This lesson doesn't have to apply to just that. I think you should go and try to explain it to him a bit. And try to make it less weird."

Thinking about it, Claire saw her friend's logic. "Okay. I guess you're right. I'm just not doing it now."

"That's fine. Now get off my bed," Massie pushed Claire over. "My bedspread does not need your tears on it."

"No," Claire agreed, pushing herself off the mattress and onto the desk chair. "It's probably filled with your own tears. Tell me, how's Derrick doing?"

Massie felt a pang. "I wouldn't know. Haven't talked to him." Not that she'd want to anyway, seeing as he dumped her via telephone without an explanation.

"I know you might still be grieving," Claire exhaled. "But normally it's not like you to be single this long."

"You make it sound like he's died," Massie said. But she guessed to her, he did. And then she got an idea, and spun on her heel to face the blonde head-on. "Though, I'm thinking you're right. I need to find a new somebody. That's a great idea, Claire."

**[ ]**

Sighing, Derrick pushed his coffee mug back and forth between his hands. Coffee shops were never a place of his choice to hang out in, but Sam had insisted. So here they were, the three of them, sat with their gourmet brew steaming in their faces. Maybe if he closed his eyes, he could pretend that maybe it was Massie who was pressed up against him in this booth. _But no,_ he thought to himself as Sam let out a chuckle at something Kristen said, _that's not her laugh._

For most of their outing, he had been silent and let the two girls do most of the talking. He just hasn't been feeling the need to be laughing over a silly plot line in an epic novel. Derrick probably hasn't even read the book that is being discussed to begin with.

"I just think that was a total distraction the author put in for her character," Kristen was saying. "Tim's character was boring and annoying, all at the same time."

"No kidding," Sam said with a chuckle. "Every time he had dialogue, I skipped down a couple of lines." As if suddenly remembering he was there, she turned to Derrick. "Hey, you're being awfully silent. You okay?"

He nodded slowly, not looking up from the porcelain cup he grasped. This earned a sigh from Sam. "Okay, fine," She stood from the booth. "I have to run to the bathroom real quick. Be right back."

"Hey," Kristen started to say after she had vanished. "I'm sorry to tag along on your date like this."

"Oh, it's totally fine," Derrick stretched in his seat. "It saves me from talking about Tim, whoever the hell _he_ is."

Kristen's brows crinkled. "I take it you don't like reading- or books, in general. What do you like to talk about?"

"I don't know," Derrick shrugged. "Whatever. Not that stuff. Sam's always talking about it and I can never jump in because I have no clue what planet she's on. It's like, we have nothing in common."

"Funny," Said Kristen. "She seems to think the opposite."

Running a hand through his hair, Derrick surveyed the café. "I know. And I don't know what to do about it. I don't know what to about all of it."

Somehow, Kristen knew that he wasn't just talking about Sam. "Well, I know this is probably not what you want to hear, but you had an option and this is what you picked. I guess if you don't like it, then you'll have to fix it yourself."

"You're right, that wasn't what I wanted to hear." Derrick sighed. "I just hope that things are fixable."

"To be honest, I kind of doubt that."

**[ ]**

"So, _Star Wars_ or _Star Trek_?" Chris asked.

"Which _Star Wars_?" Alicia asked back. It was Saturday, and this was the day that they had informally marked as movie night. They would pick something to watch over at Alicia's house before tuning in to _Saturday Night Live_. Today's picks were futuristic.

Chris gave her a blatant look. "Uh, _New Hope_. Only the best one."

Alicia protested. "Not true! The third one was pretty good, and Hayden Christensen was a hunk. But let's watch that one."

"Are you sure you don't want to watch _Star Trek_?" Chris tried again.

"Is it the one with Chris Pine?"

"No. William Shatner."

"Then no."

Chris scoffed. "What is it with you and hot guys? This one is a classic movie!" But he knelt down to feed the DVD into the player before joining her on the sofa.

"Here," Alicia passed the bowl of popcorn over to him. "Take it away from me. The main menu isn't even up and I've eaten half."

Chris laughed, and put the bowl on his other side. "So, have you found a job yet?"

Alicia shook her head. "No. It's actually pretty hard to find a job around here. At least, one that I'm interested in doing."

"You can't like, be a barista or a waitress or something?" Chris asked her.

"I didn't see any barista openings in the paper," Alicia told him. "But I could be a waitress. I mean, I can see myself doing that."

"Really?" Chris asked her, turning to look at her. "Because now that I've had time to picture it myself, it just doesn't look right."

"Oh, ha ha," Alicia said sarcastically.

* * *

Make Believe - The Burned

reviews would so be appreciated. and you all are so good at it, too :D


	17. Better Days

so it's been like a month, but i finally got this updated.  
and if i can continue to write on this, there are some big things in the works. hopefully. :D

**THANK YOU:** WakeMeUpWhenItsYesterday, WhereItAllBegins, Jemmie :), kitkat[dot]me, CBlover1812, we, PCAlpha, WE, and I LOVE NEW YORK.

you guys are uber fantastical. and i rarely use the word uber.

* * *

Chapter Seventeen: _Better Days_

The end of November followed by the beginning of December brought on chillier temperatures and wool coats. Not that Claire minded. Winter had always been her favorite season. She liked getting bundled up and taking long walks underneath barren trees and sipping hot cocoa while playing scrabble with Todd in the living room. She loved waking up after it had snowed all night and taking a sled out with Massie and the girls. She enjoyed hearing Christmas songs on every other radio station and watching all the Christmas advertisements and specials on TV.

Claire even liked the traditional ugly Christmas sweaters her mother made them wear for their annual Christmas card photo.

But as the winter break from school approached, she was starting to feel the stress pilled on from all her professors. It seemed it was paper after essay after another paper, followed by a summary on a textbook lesson. Claire figured that with all the work that was being assigned, she would not be able to visit her family again in order to get it all done. Joy to the students, right?

On this December 3rd, she found herself pouring over pages of notes and sipping a non-decaf latte at the campus coffee house. Checking her watch, she sighed at the realization that she had been working at this for about three hours now. Her butt was sore from sitting, her wrist was sore from writing and her brain was sore from thinking.

Thankfully, a soft but audible chime was heard from the depths of her tan Michael Kors Skorpios hobo bag. Originally she had purposefully buried it deep as to not make it easy for her to get distracted. But as she figured she need a break anyway, her arm shot into the opening, retrieved it and opened the awaiting text message.

**MASSIE: where are you at? i'll meet you**

Hmm. Should she invite Massie into her study safe haven when Claire fully knows that she will prevent her from getting any work done at all?

_Yup._

**CLAIRE: coffee shop  
****MASSIE: mmk. be there in a few**

And soon enough, Massie appeared at the door. Her knee high suede Marc Jacobs boots gave off a soft _thud_ with every step, and her BCBG black long sleeved cardigan matched perfectly with her deep purple ruffled blouse and dark denim straight-leg jeans. She found Claire at her corner table and strutted on over, sliding her iPhone back into its designated pocket in her bag as she went.

"Hey," Claire greeted with a smile as Massie slid into the chair across from her, bringing along a gust of Chanel No5.

"Hey," Massie exhaled and dropped her bag on the table. She motioned to the piles of papers on the table. "What's all this?"

"My winter vacation homework," Claire exhaled. "Well, half of it anyway."

Giving a half-hearted chuckle, Massie shook her collarbone-length dark hair. "I feel your pain. I don't know how I'll be able to get through it all without K," At the mention of their friend, Massie noticeably cheered up. "Hey, we haven't seen them in a while, have we?"

"Not since October," Claire said, writing down another sentence on her half-filled paper.

"We should totally do something this break," Massie thought out loud. "But I might be too busy to plan anything.."

"Yeah," Claire replied, though not really listening, though her brain soon thought of a more interesting topic to talk about. She looked up at Massie and grinned slyly. "So, how goes the _boyfriend hunt_?"

"Shitty," Massie deadpanned. "All the boys in my classes are either kinda dorky or too west coast hot for my liking. And it's like after class gets out they all scurry to their dorms to drown themselves in hours of _CAD _or _COB_, whatever the hell that ridiculous game is called.."

"_COD_," Claire corrected, knowing the term for the popular video game from her brother.

"Whatever," Massie leaned her head forward on her hands and messaged her temples. "I should just give up and face the fact that I'm most likely going to die alone. Though, instead of thirty cats I'll have thirty Cholé bags."

"Oh I doubt that," Claire looked up at Massie's form from across the table. "You'll find someone else- that I'm sure of. Just be patient."

"I'm probably the most impatient person in the world." Massie sat up and gazed across the quaint little shop. The one person she didn't want to think about was becoming more and more prominent in her mind lately. What if she didn't _want _to find someone else after all? She knew she could never admit it to anybody though; her pride simply wouldn't let her. But still, she couldn't even imagine herself with another man. It was just so frustrating for her. Wanting to get the conversation topic off of her and her problems, Massie brought up another situation. "Have you talked to Cam yet?"

"Nope."

Massie sighed, impatient. "Why not? We had that little talk about three days ago."

"Because I've been busy," Claire motioned to all the work in front of her.

"No, I think you're putting it off," Massie concluded. "And you know what? I'm going to fix that and make you face this issue." She whipped out her phone and dragged her finger across the touch screen to unlock it.

"What are you doing?" Claire asked curiously, leaning forward to try and she what the brunette was doing on her phone.

"Sending a text." Massie opened up a new message and quickly tapped out; _at the coffee shop. c wants to talk to you. _She selected _Cam Fisher_ and hit send. "There. He's coming here. Don't you dare bail on him either." She stood up and grabbed her bag.

"What?" Claire seemed to be dumbfounded.

"See ya," Massie patted Claire's shoulder and went for the door.

**[ ]**

_I'm sipping on some sunshine  
I'm gonna leave it for the morn-_

Ignore.

Sighing, Derrick gave his phone a gentle toss to his bed where it hit against his pillow. That was Sam's fifth call this hour- though Derrick has had worse experiences with clingy girlfriends. In the tenth grade, during a short break from Massie, Derrick briefly dated a girl (Miranda? Mandy? He didn't remember.) who'd frequently walked over to his house at eleven thiry at night if he didn't return her calls.

He paused his pacing, and thought about that break from Massie. Was that was this whole thing was now? Just a break? God, he hoped so, but then again he did break up with her for another girl, and in the past their breaks were usually caused by more minor things like rumors or a mutual agreement that a break was needed. Nothing like this current situation Derrick brought on himself.

Knowing that he had best distract himself with _something_ before we went into a self-pitying mode he could never come out of, Derrick plopped himself on his bed and opened the screen of his Dell Inspiron 15 laptop. His buddy list was already opened from later today, though he let out a sigh of discontentment when he saw that **FISHER4** was offline.

So were Josh, Kemp, and Chris.

He was about to slam the lid down and send off a few texts instead, but his hand paused at the top of his screen. **MASSIEKUR** blurred in and out of focus under the online list on his screen as he contemplated what to do. Should he take the risk of sending her a friendly IM? Probably not. He knew the chances of her replying were about as slim as him putting on a mini skirt for classes tomorrow.

Derrick closed the lid with a soft snap and set it aside.

**[ ]**

"So how'd it go?"

It was far too early in the morning for questions, Claire decided. Massie and her were out enjoying a rare day of December sunshine in the quad. They were on their way to the city- Massie concluded they haven't gone there enough for people who have the fortune of living so close. So she banged on her door dorm until Emily answered, dressed in her pajamas and pulled Claire out. Now, she was questioning her on the events of her chat with Cam the night before.

"Fine," Claire took a sip of her hot chocolate.

"Fine?" Massie repeated. "So I was right about it not even being a big deal at all and that you were silly to worry as much as you did?"

Claire gave a small smile. "Kind of. He said that he wasn't bothered by it and it's no big deal. Then we decided to forget that it happened, if that's what we wanted to do, and just move on. So, we are."

Massie gave a haughty smirk. "Told you. I'm a relationship genius."

Claire decided not to point out that Massie was dumped over the phone just a few weeks ago.

"Hey! Claire!"

The pair turned to look at the sidewalk behind them. Colter's dark hair flapped in the wind as he jogged up to the two, a small grin on his face.

"Hey," Claire greeted him with a peck on the lips. "We were just off to the city."

"Mind if I join you?" He asked, slinging his arm around Claire. "You know, to make up for the fact that you kinda forgot to come over last night like you said you would."

"Oh my god," Claire pressed her hand to her face. "I'm so sorry. I was studying in the coffee shop and then Cam showed up-"

"You blew me off for Fisher?" The atmosphere got icy, and the trio stopped walking. Claire looked up to make eye contact with Colter after his little outburst.

"Oh look, a tree," Massie made her desire to leave fairly obvious and stalked off to a tree nearby on the pathway. And Claire didn't blame her- she had a feeling the tension in the conversation was going to rise here in a few seconds.

"No," Claire attempted to defuse the situation. "I was studying and Cam showed up and we started talking and I completely forgot all about what I said. That's all."

"Yeah, you blew me to be with him," Colter sighed, and took a second to look down and play with the zipper of his North Face windbreaker. "I'm sorry. But you spend a lot of time with him, Claire. I mean, you took him with you for Thanksgiving with your family. I know you two are close, but sometimes I just have to wonder, if there is something more with you two."

Claire swallowed. She hated keeping their past from him, but she never saw how it might interfere with them. She looked him right in his deep blue eyes and spoke, "There isn't anything going on with us. I promise."

**[ ]**

"That's completely beside the point," Derrick threw out. "If I say I don't want to do something, I don't want to do something."

Sam scoffed. "What do you mean that's beside the point? It's true!"

What had started out as a harmless date turned into a nasty disagreement, all because Sam had suggested that the two should leave Derrick's dorm so his roommate Zack could actually come back in the room and relax without seeing them play tonsil hockey.

Derrick was dead set on his opinion. "What are you talking about? Me not wanting to leave my dorm room has nothing to do with me supposedly not wanting to spend time with you!"

Sam let out a sigh. She looked him dead on with her forest green eyes. "Lately you haven't been wanting to spend any time with me at all. You're constantly making up excuses to get out of things and you're cold and distant from me. Seriously, what is up with you?"

Derrick tried to look anywhere but her face. How could he _kindly_ say that he broke up with his ex girlfriend for her and now realized that he made a huge mistake and that she's partially insane? He knew there wasn't, so he stayed silent with his eyes trained on the floor.

"Okay, fine," Sam gathered up her coat and purse from his desk chair and turned toward the door. "I guess I'll see you around."

The door closed behind her with a brisk snap, and again Derrick was left alone.

* * *

derrick's ringtone is mountain man by the crash kings. and the chapter title is from better days by the goo goo dolls.  
and you should review! yeah! :D


	18. So Low, So High

The weather where I live is so messed up. It's July, and for the past week it's been overcast. The heck.

**THANK YOU: **WakeMeUpWhenItsYesterday (I hope your mom didn't actually commit you or anything... :D), skiiergirl97, InMyHeartForever (haha, I'm sorry), WhereItAllBegins (COW, huh? What should that stand for, Call Of... Walruses?), dancee87, kitkat[dot]me, and Fireworks Forever (I hope this is fast enough for you, and hopefully you're still alive :D)

You guys have continuously been so good with reviewing, and it really means a lot.

* * *

Chapter Eighteen: _So Low, So High_

It was a cold December day in New Hampshire. The average temperature for the day was a solid 35 degrees and the local weatherman predicted the first snow fall late tonight. To hide from the cold and prying eyes of their peers, Dylan and Josh took refuge in Dylan's dorm room. Dylan was fortunate enough to score one of the three single freshmen dorms in her building, and she realized how convenient this was when you were cuddling with your friend's boyfriend.

"You know," Josh said, tracing circles on Dylan's back through her shirt. "I really hate having to act like our relationship isn't happening."

"Well, we have to be careful," Dylan tried to explain to him. "Who knows what will happen once people find out about us."

"Uh, Dyl," Josh raised his head and stared at the mass of flaming red hair that rested on his stomach. "Who here cares?"

"If Kemp finds out, he could tell everyone," She pointed out. "And then Kristen could find out. And then I'm dead."

"I still don't like hiding from everyone," Josh said. "And if they're really our friends, they won't care that we're together."

"But they _will_ care that I took you from K," Dylan sighed. "How are we going to fix this? She's my best friend, for crying out loud." And she felt terrible. The guilt was consuming her more and more as they got deeper and deeper into their relationship.

"I don't think we can. We have to face it," Josh exhaled, his breath tickling the top of Dylan's head. "Stop sneaking around, for starters. That'll just make it worse."

"Meaning you'll have to break up with Kristen. Great," The upset texts that are sure to come after he does are almost enough to make Dylan chuck her HTC HD2 into the North Atlantic ahead of time. "Do me a favor and don't tell her about us. Let me do it myself."

But Dylan wasn't sure when she'd ever get the guts to do it.

**[ ]**

Being careful not to slip on the puddles of last night's rainfall (which were frozen over earlier this morning), Kristen dashed up the stairs to the Sterling Memorial Library. She pushed open the heavy oak doors, immediately engulfed by a blast of heated air.

It seemed every time she stepped onto the stone floors she was blown away by the architectural details that were put into the main library branch. The smell of old books was welcoming, and she let out a content sigh as she headed for her usual study spot- a seat at one of the two long wood tables. She pulled out a chair, set her bag on the table and got ready to get to work on her winter project. Unwrapping herself from her many layers of coats and scarves was a project in itself, but she managed to get free and get to work.

Not ten minutes into her solitude of peace and quiet, the chair next to her was pulled out from under the table with such a loud scraping noise that it seemed everyone looked up from their educational resources. "Kristen," The unexpected guest breathed in her ear, as quietly as he could. "Here you are. Man, I looked everywhere. Even at the Beinecke-"

"Zack," She cut off with a sharp whisper. "Why are you here?" This semi-scrawny, nerdy boy had been showing up around her in many places (the library, student store, and cafeteria to name a few). And Kristen had to admit it was getting pretty weird. "Are you following me or something?"

"Following?" Zack scoffed, readjusting his square framed glasses. "No way."

"Then why did you just say you checked everywhere for me?"

"Well Kristen, if I was following you I would know where you are and I wouldn't have to look," A smug smirk that wasn't very becoming graced his lightly freckled face.

"Whatever," Kristen flipped to another page in her notebook. "What do you want?"

He shrugged. "Nothing really. I just wanted to see if you wanted to do something this weekend."

She looked up again. "Like a date?"

Zack quickly shook his head. "No, not a date. Unless you want it to be. Do you want it to be?"

Kristen blinked. "No. I'm good. And I have a boyfriend." _Who won't even call me back._ Her plan for the day was to hide out here and attempt to forget about that. But now, Zack was bringing up the feelings she wanted to avoid. Her annoyance for him increased. "So if that's it, I'd appreciate it if you leave."

"Oh," Kristen didn't see his crestfallen face. "Okay then. How about it's not a date then?"

Holding her head in her hands, Kristen let out a sigh. "Man, you're persistent- _No._" She stood and began gathering her things, not really wanting to stay any longer and crush his feelings further. "I'll see you around."

As she turned around to leave, she figured she needed a better place to escape.

**[ ]**

"Okay, so this is the cash register, obviously," The older woman, possibly in her mid thirties said, turning to face Alicia in the face. "If you don't know how to work it, I'll lend you the manual tonight for you to study."

Alicia's job hunt had taken her all over the city to various cafés and bakeries. Though it was either they weren't hiring or they weren't interested in hiring _her_. Yesterday, her search brought her to Nancy's Café-slash-Bakery, where she was fortunate enough to get hired as a waitress. Today, she was meeting her new boss and was being walking through everything by her coworker Marissa before they opened at nine-o-clock tomorrow, as they were closed this Sunday.

"So," Marissa continued. "That's pretty much it. It's seat-your-self, so try to keep an eye on who arrives so you can get them their menus quickly."

"Okay," Alicia nodded, tying her hair up into a high ponytail.

Marissa clasped her hands together. "And I think that's it. Oh- here she comes."

They both turned towards to front door where a slightly graying woman unlocked the front door with her keys. Alicia assumed this was her new boss. She looked friendly, and suddenly the building anxiety was washed away by this first impression.

"Good morning," Marissa greeted cheerfully. "This is Alicia, the new girl I hired yesterday."

"Oh," The other woman removed her glasses and took a look at Alicia. "Hello, there. Sorry I wasn't able to conduct your interview yesterday; my sister was sick and I had to take care of her. You have prior experiences with waitressing, correct?"

"Oh actually-"Alicia was cut off.

"Yeah, she does," Marissa's smile never faltered as she straight up lied. Alicia stared at her. What the heck, she never told her that! The look she received by Marissa was one that convinced her to play along, so she looked at her new boss and nodded.

"Good, that's important," The woman unwound her scarf from her neck. "Welcome to Nancy's Café!"

"So you're Nancy?" Alicia asked.

"No, I'm Karen."

"Oh."

**[ ]**

_9:36 PM_

Her computer screen fuzzed in and out of focus as Kristen started at the little clock in the upper corner. After leaving the library earlier today, she went straight to her dorm to continue working. But after five hours, she only had a paragraph written. She was still too preoccupied with the whole Josh thing. Maybe if she just checked to see if he was online…

But before she could open up her IM list, a _ding!_ followed by a pop up notice alerted her of another activity.

_**Josh Hotz**__ would like to Video Chat. Do you accept?_

Quickly, Kristen clicked yes.

And almost immediately, the image of Josh sitting in his dorm room filled her screen. He was wearing a dark olive long sleeve shirt, his hair looked perfectly mussed up, but his face was almost painfully solemn.

"Hey," Kristen said. "Not to sound needy, but why haven't you been returning my calls or texts?"

"Listen," Josh sighed. "I didn't want to have to do this over the phone or email or even _this,_ but I figured since it needed to be done soon this was the closest thing to in person." He sighed again, and dread filled Kristen's being.

"Wait," She said before he could speak again. "Are you… _breaking_ up with me?" He didn't respond, and instead looked down in his lap guiltily. He didn't need to say anything. Kristen swallowed the forming lump in her throat. "Wha-Why?"

"It's just," Josh began, running a hand through his hair. "We never see each other anymore because we live in different states and, well, it's just not _there_ for me anymore." He paused again, and Kristen looked away from her screen and instead at the corkboard beside it. "I don't want to drag this on any longer than it has to."

Silence came next. Kristen didn't know what to say; she didn't even know she could say anything without bursting into tears. Why was he doing this?

"Kirsten?" He called. "Say something, please."

She swallowed. "Okay, fine. If that's what you want." She was surprised she got that out. "I'll… talk to you later," She brought the mouse up to the little X in the corner and clicked.

Then she fell apart.

**[ ]**

Sighing, Alicia pulled the elastic band out of her hair. Even though all they did was inventory, her first day was pretty tough. Marissa had told her that she needed her to pretend like she had experience, otherwise Alicia could get fired and she could be in trouble for even hiring her. So she spent the day pretending like she knew how to take inventory, and it was actually pretty challenging.

As she fished in her oversized Marc Jacobs for her apartment key, she heard the door knob of the adjacent door rattle as it was turned.

"Oh, hey Alicia," Chris greeted. She turned to see him standing in his doorway, a full trash bag in hand. "How was work?"

"Actually pretty hard," She got her key out and stuck it in the slot. "Get this: the girl who hired me had me lie to my new boss about me having no experience with waitressing. Isn't that weird?"

"Yeah," He said. "Hey, I'm going to go take this downstairs. I'll be back in a few."

"Okay!" She called after him. Entering her apartment she tossed her bag on an armchair and headed for the small kitchen, craving a diet green tea.

As promised, Chris returned and let himself in. "Hey."

"Hey," Alicia said back. She held up her tea. "Want one?"

"Sure."

She plucked another bottle from the shelf in her fridge and went to join him on the small sofa she recently bought for a bargain. "Here," She handed it to him and she took a seat.

"Thank you," Chris twisted off the cap and took a sip. "So, she's having you lie to your boss?"

"Yup," Alicia answered. "I don't even get why she hired me when she knew I didn't have an experience in the first place. It's so weird."

"Really." He agreed.

The pair sat in a comfortable silence, taking sips of their tea and thinking of new topics to talk about.

"So I was thinking," Chris began. "That we need to do something with everyone. Maybe over everyone's winter breaks?"

"Yeah, that's actually a good idea," Alicia said. "How about we all go up to my parents cabin in Aspen?"

"That sounds fun," Chris said, grinning. "I haven't been snowboarding in forever."

"Though I don't even know if they'll let me use it," Alicia said. "They were pretty pissed when I was expelled from Princeton."

"If you can't get it then we can always figure something out," He said. "You know, maybe pool together for a room at a resort or something."

"No," Alicia grinned slyly. "We're getting my parents cabin if we're allowed to or not. I _do_ have a set of keys, anyway."

Chris grinned back. "I like the way you think, Rivera. You know, you still haven't changed a bit since high school."

"I know," Alicia took a lengthy sip, glad to finally have something to look forward to.

**[ ]**

Kemp Hurley sighed and pulled his jacket closer to his body. It was freaking freezing. He didn't think it was possible for a place to get even colder than New York in the winter, but New Hampshire managed to prove him wrong. He had attempted to go for a jog, but after getting only two blocks away from the dorm he shared with Josh, he gave up and decided to walk back.

Thankfully, he was at the dorms now, shivering as he climbed the small flight of steps up to the front door. He imagined his bed, warm and inviting, and he in a hurry to get up there as soon as possible, he opted for the stairs instead in the elevators. Kemp jumped up them, three at a time until he reached the third floor.

The hallway was eerily silent. Most of the time Kemp comes back to his dorm, there is some kind of activity going on in someone's room that could be heard in the hall (and sometimes it the kind of activity that he _didn't_ want to hear). He retrieved his key from the pocket of his jogging shorts and opened the door.

"Oh my god."

There was Dylan and Josh, intertwined in a very compromising position. Thankfully for Kemp, their clothes were on, but it almost looked like if he had finished his jog they wouldn't be. At the sight of Kemp, Dylan sprung off of Josh and sat on the other side of his bead, attempting to fix her hair. Josh sat up as well, looking guilty.

"What the hell is going on here?"

* * *

Title from So Low, So High by Maps

Oooh, Kemp knows about the dylosh ;)  
review?


	19. Winter Song

Updated this, finally.

**THANK YOU: **WakeMeUpWhenItsYesterday, kitkat[dot]me, CBlover1812, WhereItAllBegins, Fireworks Forever, laughyytaffy and giantlollipops for last chapter's reviews.  
and I'm over 100! THANK YOU TONSS.

* * *

_Chapter Nineteen: Winter Song_

"Did you get that Evite Leesh sent out?" Massie asked the blonder of the pair. They were walking along 'College Walk', the long stretch of walkway that passed through the main campus. "It's weird how we were just thinking about doing something over break and then she sends us that."

"Yeah," Claire agreed. "But it's a good idea. A whole week in Aspen! It's sounds heavenly, that is if I can get my work done before we leave."

Massie gave a short laugh. "I know what you mean. We need to spend all our extra time working on it. What do you say- study dates in my room?"

"What about your roommate?" Claire reminded her. "You know, crazy-psycho-witch-girl?"

"I haven't seen her in weeks," Massie admitted. "Maybe her voodoo magic backfired and turned her into a moth or something." The two friends laughed together, before Massie spoke again. "Wait, we're being mean. Let's stop. I know she's… _different_, but we should be accepting."

Claire looked over at her with surprise. It wasn't everyday Massie Block suggested to tone down the teasing of someone. "I don't think I've ever heard you say that. Ever."

"Being nicer is one of my New Year's resolutions," She admitted. "So I'm trying to put it to use now."

"Oh," Claire said, remembering that the same goal was her New Year's resolution back in sophomore year. It didn't really work out to well then. "I hope that... goes well."

"Thanks for your support," Clearly picking up on the small amount of sarcasm Claire sprinkled on her words, Massie looked at her friend and grinned. So she was sometimes incapable of being a nice person. She was better than she was in middle school, that's for sure.

"Have you seen Cam around?" Claire asked next.

Massie smiled slowly and knowingly. "No, why?"

"I just haven't seen him since we talked in the café," She responded slowly. "I don't know- it's been a while, I guess."

Massie nodded. She hadn't seen Cam around a lot either. It was kind of weird, considering he didn't normally hang out with anyone else but them. So normally he was always with them. _Maybe he had come down with a bad cold?_ Massie frowned inwardly at the mystery of it all. But then she remembered something else. "Wait, won't Colter mind you spending time with him anyway?"

"I think it's absolutely ridiculous that he doesn't like me hanging out with him," Claire said strongly. "If I want to hang out with Cam, then I will. And I want to hang out with Cam. There is no need for him to get ridiculously jealous over something like that."

Massie said, "Maybe you should tell him that. You know, let him know he can't choose your friends."

"Maybe I will," Claire nodded to herself. She was in to the idea of setting him straight with all this Cam business. "Hey, what time is it?"

Massie pushed back the sleeve of her black motorcycle styled jacket, and glanced at the face of her Cartier watch. "_8:14_. And I'm going to be late for class." She gave Claire a pat on the head and rushed off in the opposite direction.

Claire smirked at the leaving form of her best friend. How Massie had made it this far in college she had no idea.

**[ ]**

"Josh, this is serious," Dylan harshly whispered into her HTC HD2. "Kemp is going to tell _everyone_."

"No he's not," Josh reassured her from over the telephone line. "He's not the type of person to do that."

"Oh, did he tell you he wasn't going to say anything?"

"No. I didn't really know what to say to him after he saw something like that."

Dylan sighed. Josh was too trusting of Kemp. Her first ideas were too bribe or blackmail him into keeping quiet, but Josh shot them down. After all, he had said, doing those things would make it seem like their relationship was something to cover up. But right now, Dylan thought it was- especially from Kristen. "Well I don't think he will. Can you just please _try_ to talk to him? See if he'll pretend he never saw it?"

Josh impatiently sighed, but gave in. "Okay, Dyl. I'll talk to him."

"Thank you," Dylan smiled over the phone.

"I have to get to class now, but I'll see you later," Josh promised. "Love you."

"Love you too," Dylan hit the small red off button, ending the call.

**[ ]**

Cam sighed, tossing his Xbox controller behind him where it bounced twice on his bed before falling to the floor. That was the third game in a row he had lost. His twelve-year-old teammates he was playing with through Xbox live had some pretty nasty things to say to him before booting them from their _Call of Duty_ party. What was with him? Normally, he was good- well, at least better then he'd been playing today. He leaned forward to press the disk eject button, ready to play a good 'ole car racing game when a knock at his door stopped him mid-motion.

He pushed himself off his beanbag and crossed the cluttered floor to his door. Pulling open the door, he couldn't help but give a small grimace at the person standing in his doorway.

"Well gosh," Massie said, obviously noticing. She placed a gloved and most likely manicured hand at her waist. "Don't piss yourself in excitement. It's just me."

"Ha," Cam drawled, stepping aside to let her in. "Why are you here?"

"What, I need a reason to visit my best buddy?" Massie shut the door behind her, pulling at the fingers of her gloves and removing them. "We haven't seen you in a while."

"We?" Cam questioned, taking a seat in his bean bag again.

"Duh, Claire and I."

"Oh," Cam subconsciously rubbed his sweaty palm on his heather grey sweat pants. "Then why isn't she here?"

"She went to talk to Colter," She explained, picking up and examining a framed picture of Cam and his old Briarwood soccer team he had on his shelf. Derrick's yellow captain's arm tape was visibly noticeable in the front of the group. "He's been getting all weird about her hanging out with you."

"He's jealous?" Cam questioned.

Massie nodded, placing the picture back. "Or controlling."

"What a dick."

"I guess so," Massie turned on the spot, taking in the state of his room. "Have you been in here the whole time?" She eyed the various food wrappings cluttered throughout the small space. "Are you depressed or something?"

"I haven't been in here the _whole time_," Cam defended. "Just today. I was in the library almost all day yesterday doing homework. And I've been to my classes."

Massie raised a single eyebrow at him. "Whatever. I think you're avoiding us, for whatever stupid reason."

"It's not a stupid reason."

"Oh really?"

Cam sighed, finally giving in. "It's just that Claire and I are just back to where we started. Friends."

"No shit," Massie said crossing her arms. "Isn't that what you wanted?"

"No, I want more." He shifted uncomfortably under the heated gaze of Massie's amber eyes.

"Then tell her that."

"No. Because then things will get weird. _Again_."

"Then settle with being friends."

"But I don't _want_ to settle-"

"Oh my god," Massie held her head in her hands. "I swear, you two are the most dramatic people I know. You guys should have your own plot line on _General Hospital_ after James Franco leaves." She grabbed her purse she had placed on his desk chair and went to the door. With her hand grasping the doorknob she turned to him, "Figure it out for yourself, Cammie. I have my own issues to deal with. Stop hiding in here like a mole," She sniffed the air and pulled open the door. "And take a shower."

**[ ]**

Having rushed to be the first one out of class, Claire was now uncomfortably warm underneath her old fleece North Face.

She had sneakily texted Colter in class and he had agreed to meet her afterwards at the _Alma Mater _statue outside of the library. Though it seems there was no need for her to rush; she had beaten him to it. To pass the time, she searched the statue over. She had heard from one of her teachers that there was an owl hidden somewhere on the great statue.

But she didn't have to search for long. "Hey," Colter said from behind her, causing her to turn. "You wanted to talk?"

"Yeah, right," Claire sighed, not sure if she was ready to do this. But she pressed on anyway. "See, I know you have an issue with me hanging out with Cam, but to be honest _I_ have an issue with that. I've known him since middle school, and I'm not just going to stop hanging out with him because you have some weird jealous thing about it."

Brows creased and obviously agrivated, Colter responded, "I wouldn't have such an issue with it if you two didn't use to date, or that you choose him over me."

"I told you," Claire said, getting a little tired of having to say it over and over. "There is nothing going on between me and Cam. It's over. It's been over for two years. And as for that studying thing, I told you I honestly forgot we had plans. And it won't happen again."

"You know, you forgetting doesn't really make me feel any better," Colter said, looking at her with a mixture of hurt and bitterness in his deep blue eyes.

Claire was quiet. She had said what she needed to, and wasn't so sure what she was supposed to say now. "I'm sorry," She said quietly. "Though I think I've said that already."

More silence.

"Whatever," He said finally, adjusting the strap of his back pack on his one shoulder. "I'll call you later."

And with that he turned and walked away, leaving Claire alone with the hulking bronze statue.

**[ ]**

This is one of the things Dylan had been dreading all day.

It was about a quarter to one, and she was on her way to the mess hall for some lunch when her telephone rang. Though she thought nothing of it until she had checked the ID.

It was Kirsten.

Sighing, Dylan slowly pressed 'accept'. She figured it was better to deal with it now then later. "Hello?" She tried to sound as unsuspecting and clueless as she could.

A massive sob erupted from the other line. "D-Dyl? Are you b-busy?"

_Oh shit._ Dylan didn't think she could do this. "Hey Kris. Um, I was actually heading off to-"

"Josh dumped me," Kirsten continued on, apparently not hearing Dylan. "Over a freaking video c-chat, too. What kind of ass does that?"

"Well, Josh does live far from you," Dylan said softly. "I guess that's better than over the phone…"

"Why are you defending him?" Dylan jumped at Kirsten's sudden outburst. "That asshole wasted almost a year or my life!"

Dylan was silent. She was a little scared of her friend right now, she had to admit, but at this point she was also a little scared she'd crack under the guilt and tell her everything.

Thankfully, Kirsten kept going. "You know what? I think I've spent enough time crying over him," There were some muffled background noises. "I'm throwing out all these pictures- or, do you think it would be okay if I burned them in here?"

"Uh," Dylan said, still at a loss for words. She needed to get off the phone, now. "You know what? My phone is low on battery, and I'm nowhere near my dorm. Can I call you back later tonight?"

"Nah, I'll probably be busy," Kristen sounded better. That is, if completely pissed off is better than a deep depression. "Now where's my lighter…"

Dylan hit 'end' in a hurry. Suddenly she wasn't so hungry anymore.

**[ ]**

The tall gothic buildings of Yale provided the appropriate setting this evening, Derrick noted. He was talking a walk around the campus, something that's starting to become a nightly habit for him.

He knew what he had to do. It was only right. Well, right for him anyway. Just doing it would be hard, that he knew. He had never liked it in the past.

Welch hall was coming up on the right- his destination. Slowly he pulled the handle and let himself inside.

He figured the stairs were the hardest to climb, just a slow walk up to think about it. He took them just one at a time until he was there, at the fourth floor.

_401, 403, 405…_ The odd numbers grew as he made his way down the deserted hallway. Almost there...

_417_. He knocked, realizing he had never actually been here before. Perhaps that was a sign what he was doing was the right thing after all.

She answered seconds later, a smile appearing on her face at the sight of him. He knew it wouldn't be there for long.

"We're over," He said simply. No greeting or anything. Just cut to the chase.

As predicted, Sam's smile vanished in milliseconds. But Derrick did let her say anything. He simply turned and left, leaving her agape in the doorway.

**[ ]**

"Almost everyone has said yes," Alicia announced from her computer. "One maybe from Kirsten but- oh wait, she just changed it. I guess we're all going."

"That's great," Said Chris from his perch on the couch arm rest. "I'm so excited."

Alicia turned and smiled at him, "Me too. I haven't been this happy since graduation."

* * *

Wow, lots of stuff just went down.  
Title is _Winter Song _by Sara Bareilles & Ingrid Michaelson.

That bit about the alma mater statue is true.  
I had to google it because I don't know much about Columbia, but it seems like a very nice school.

Anyway, you should review. That would be just a basket of muffins (:


	20. November Was White, December Was Grey

**haha, i know it's been a while, but please read before you kill me.**

**THANKSS A TON: **CBlover1812, Fireworks Forever, Sprinkle Smothered Lies, OptimistPessimistRebel, laughyytaffy, Sydney (and it's totally cool if you're a bad reviewer, because i'm a bad updater :D), Jc in da houz, WhereItAllBegins, I LOVE NEW YORK, and drowning in technicolor dreams.

**(holy poo, TEN of you reviewed? ... i love you guys)**

* * *

Chapter Twenty: _November Was White, December Was Grey _

"Fuck," Derrick grumbled, reaching out and grabbing a hold of the diner's door handle before he succumbed to the patch of ice he had slipped on. He took a deep breath to calm himself, to steady himself, before he opened the door and stepped into the warmth.

Lately, everything seemed to be another thorn in his side. His life was not going the way he had imagined it a year ago, and what really pissed him off was knowing that a lot of it was his fault. Though it just seemed to be something bad followed by something terrible nowadays. _Most of the shadows of in our life are caused by us standing in our own sunshine,_ his mother would say.

He spotted Kristen in a booth near the back of the diner. He had to admit she looked a little down, stirring a mug of tea in slow circles again and again.

"Hey," Derrick greeted, sliding into the seat across from her. She didn't even look up. "What's wrong?"

"Josh dumped me," Kristen said. Though, it wasn't sad. Just bitter.

"Oh."

"Yeah," She looked up at him. "The other day. Over a freaking iChat, too."

"That sucks," Derrick's eyebrows creased in concern. "Did he say why?"

"First he said some BS about it 'not being _there_ for him anymore'," Kristen said, reaching over for the sugar. The bitterness in her voice was unmissable. "So I texted him this morning to get the real reason, and he says he doesn't love me anymore. Can you believe that?"

Derrick stayed silent, knowing that nothing he could say could make her feel even remotely better.

She let out an incredulous snort of laughter, and raised her mug to her lips. "Honestly, I think its bull. You don't just stop loving someone. Either you still do, or you never did. And I guess he never did."

Kristen sighed and took a lengthy sip. Smacking her lips slightly, she set her mug back on the table and looked up at Derrick. "But enough about me; I heard about your 'dump-and-go' last night. Kinda harsh."

He couldn't help but smirk at her terminology. "Breaking up usually is. And I guess I just felt that something quick and easy would be best. Because there's no point in going on with that, 'Let's just be friends', bullshit. I mean, I wouldn't mean it."

"Either way, she called me last night crying her eyes out," Kristen said. "I really didn't know what to say, nor did I really care, as I was kind of in my own post-breakup mode."

Derrick frowned. "Things are so screwed up."

"Mhm," Kristen agreed, raising her mug to her lips.

**[ ]**

Massie surveyed her dorm room. The current state it was in looked as if her closet exploded, leaving mountains of designer clothing in its wake. Open on her bed was an empty Rioni Signature suitcase, which has been patiently waiting to be filled for about an hour now. But Massie was stuck.

For the first time in her life, she had no idea what to wear.

Reaching into her back pocket, her iPhone was out and dialing in seconds.

"Hey Massie," Claire greeted, though it was lacking her normally optimistic tones.

"Can you come to my room? I'm having issues," Massie said, crossing her free arm over her chest and staring at her floor.

"Uh, yeah, sure," Her friend agreed. "I'll be over in a second."

And soon enough, it seemed, there was knock at her door. "Come in!" Massie yelled, too down to get up and open it herself.

"Hey, I brought over- wow," Claire's blue eyes widened at the sight of the mess.

"That was _so _not a second," Massie said, pouting at the newest occupant of her dorm room.

"I brought coffee," The blonde held out a cup of the local café's home roast, but Massie didn't reach up. "What the hell happened in here?"

"I'm having problems trying to figure out what to pack," Massie frowned. "And I don't know why."

Claire closed the door behind her and frowned. "I might have an idea."

"Oh really, Dr. Phil?" Massie sarcastically spoke. "Enlighten me."

Sighing, Claire maneuvered her way over the piles and clothes and sat herself next to her friend. "Don't you think you're nervous?"

"Why the hell would I be nervous?"

"Because Derrick will be there."

Massie fell silent. It was a ridiculous suggestion, one that would be out of character and insane if true. But, deep down she knew it _was_ partially true. She sighed. "I don't know. Just help me find things to pack for Friday."

**[ ]**

Josh Hotz wrapped his scarf more securely around his neck. Late December in New Hampshire was almost as bad, if not worse, than in New York, and he was not yet used to it. So far his ears, toes, and gloved finger tips were numb, and he'd only been outside walking for twenty minutes.

Though the weather was not the only cold thing in his life at the moment; Dylan was in absolute panic that Kemp would reveal to everyone about their relationship. His friend hadn't talked to Josh since, and had even been making obvious attempts at avoiding him. But confronting him was priority number one for Josh; Dylan had made sure if it.

He pulled out his phone and quickly fired off a text, thinking it was better to get it over with now, before the trip, than during.

**JOSH HOTZ: dude, we need to talk. meet me in our dorm at five**

The response was not immediate, but at least one did come.

**KEMP HURLEY: whatever.**

**[ ]**

As Derrick returned to his dorm from meeting with Kristen, his pocket buzzed with the vibrations of an incoming phone call. Grinning as he checked the caller-id, he hit 'talk' and pressed the phone up to his ear. "Cammie boy? Is that you?"

"You sound like a fruitcake." His friend responded dully.

"Well what can I say, I haven't heard from you in a while," Derrick smiled as he kept walking. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I don't really know, I guess I just wanted to see what was up with you," Cam said. "I mean, the problems I keep creating for myself completely suck-"

"More Claire issues, huh?"

"No. Kind of. I don't know. Either way, I don't want to talk about it. So I called to see how sucky your life is."

Derrick sighed. "Pretty damn sucky. I broke up with Sam." He recounted to Cam the events of the night before.

When he was finished, he was treated to the ever so delightful sound of Cam Fisher's laughter in his ears. "Man, you are an asshole."

"Oh, go dump Claire again." Derrick fired back.

"Touché. But does this mean you'll get back together with our favorite brunette?"

"I doubt it," Derrick said truthfully. "I think we can both agree I've screwed things up for another relationship with her."

"Friends, then?" Cam offered. "I mean, Claire and I are friends after everything-"

"Yeah, and look how well that's turned out. You're putting yourself through torture standing by watching her date some other clown, and you're too afraid to tell her how you feel. No thank you. I couldn't do that."

"At least you'd be in her life," Countered Cam. "And, as it turns out, Colter is a real controlling-"

"Oh, shit, hang on," Derrick mumbled into the phone. Up ahead of him, he spotted a familiar head of dark chocolate tresses coming straight this way. "Sam's walking this way. I think I'm going to try to avoid her."

"Don't do that," Cam advised. "Just keep walking. Play it cool."

Derrick was silent as they approached each other. And at first, Sam didn't even realize he was in her vicinity. But after a short while, she spotted him, and Derrick braced himself for an outburst of embarrassing proportions. It never came, though. She brushed right past him like he was just another student at Yale University.

"You still alive?" Cam asked after a moment of silence.

"Actually, I am," Derrick turned, confused, watching as his ex-girlfriend walked away. "How weird."

"Maybe she'd just more mature than you."

Derrick raised his eyebrows. "I guess she must be."

**[ ]**

"Alice + Olivia drape sweater?" Claire asked, holding the item up for Massie to see.

"Sure," Massie said, giving it a quick glace before approving it. Claire tossed the sweater behind her in the general direction of Massie's suitcase, which now had several clothing items in and around it.

"Do you think I should bring both my Michael Kors wool coat and my Steve Madden plaid one?" Massie asked her friend, who's been surprisingly very helpful for the past hour.

"Well, it _is _Aspen, and it _is _December," Claire looked over. "I think you should."

"Alright," Massie gave the two a toss as well. Michael landed on the rim of the open suitcase and Steve missed completely.

"You should've heard my mom's reaction when I said I wouldn't be home for Christmas," Claire said, bringing up the phone call she had with Judy Lyons the night before. "It was like I died or something."

Massie laughed. "My mom didn't really care, actually. Though she did mention something about having a pretend Christmas when we get back."

Claire groaned. "Great."

Smirking, Massie placed a neatly folded ruffled neck-line tank top in a growing pile of 'stay' clothing. "How's Colter taking you leaving for Christmas with Cam?"

_Small snow flurries fell around them as Claire and Colter walked through the almost deserted campus. On normal occasions, Claire loved snow. But the coldness it was bringing was just adding to the chilly atmosphere between her and him. And that was already well below zero on its own._

"_So, what are you doing for break?" Colter asked, obviously as an attempt to talk about something- anything. "Going to visit family?"_

"_No, actually," Claire stared at her feet, where her grey North Face snow boots made small impressions in the sticking snow. "I'm going to Aspen with my friends from high school."_

_Colter's voice turned as icy as the weather. "So Fisher will be there?"_

_Claire contemplated answering. She knew it would cause more issues, but then, so would lying about it. "Yeah. He'll be there."_

_He stopped walking, and it took Claire a few steps to realize it. She turned to face him, but he was staring intently at the ground._

"_I don't-" He began, stopping himself. Colter looked up, so that the ocean blue of his eyes met the cerulean of hers. "You know I don't like him being around you, and I can't keep wondering if and when you're going to finally leave me for him."_

_Claire didn't protest this. She remained silent as he continued on; knowing that nothing she could say would change his mind. That is, if she even knew what to say._

"_And I know you say, time after time, that there isn't anything going on with you two. But I can see it; I'm not blind." He sighed, breaking eye contact for a split second. "I can't be the guy who sits around just waiting for you to leave. I can't be _that_ guy. I won't be." And then he closed the steps between them with a long stride, enveloping her in the gentlest hug she'd ever received. It was as if she was fragile and would split into pieces at any second. Claire felt his lips press against her head for a brief second, and then he pulled away. "Goodbye, Claire."_

"So, what'd you say?" Massie asked after Claire had finished telling the story.

"Nothing. I mean, what could I have said?" Claire sighed, flinging a long sleeve thermal tee towards Massie's bed. "It was hard enough looking at the guy."

Massie was silent. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Claire shook her head. "It would've never worked out anyways."

**[ ]**

Josh leaped to the door as soon as the knock reached his ears. It was _4:51_, and he was almost overflowing with all the things he wanted to explain to his friend, because he _had_ to make him see that he hadn't done anything wrong.

Kemp looked annoyed and aggravated to be anywhere near Josh when the door swung open. "Okay, what do you want?" He said, storming past Josh and taking a seat on his bed.

Everything he had planned seemed to escape his mind. Kemp was really pissed at him. "I want to talk about what you saw the other day," Josh started, looking his longtime friend in the eye.

The other boy scoffed. "You mean you making out with your girlfriend's best friend? Because I don't really think that needs explaining."

"Kristen and I are broken up."

"So what," Kemp said, standing up now. "You dumped her just so you could have some justice in hooking up with her best friend?"

"Kemp," Josh tried to reason with him. "I don't think you understand-"

"Oh, I don't understand?" Kemp was visibly angry; his eyes narrow, mouth in a firm line. "What, Josh? That you're an asshole? Because I pretty much get that." He hoisted his backpack up by the strap and strode for the door. "But don't worry, buddy. I won't tell your secret to her. Because I think _you _will." Kemp sent Josh another scathing glare, before wrenching the door open.

After Kemp had left with a slam, Josh sat in silence. Kemp's words had let in all the thoughts he was trying too hard to keep out. He was being a terrible guy, he knew it, but the heart wants what the heart wants, right? Sighing, Josh flung himself backwards onto his bed.

Oh, the mess he had dug himself in.

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**title from **november was white, december was grey **by **say hi.  
**aspen starts next chapter, i promise :)**

**review?**


	21. Be Gentle With Me

**i updated this! yayy!**

**THANK YOU (AND SORRY FOR THE WAIT) TOOOO: **WakeMeUpWhenItsYesterday, Amazingxlivexlovexlaughx3, laughyytaffy, Josie, MoonlightMassie, eleveneleven, chrissyx3, ReedHollis4Ever, drowning in technicolor dreams, WhereItAllBegins, I LOVE NEW YORK, **and** 2plus2equals5.

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Chapter Twenty-One: _Be Gentle With Me_

_There was snow everywhere. _

_It blanketed the Block Estate and its surroundings in a think layer. Lights were on inside, and she could see a soft silhouette of a figure inside. Was it her mom? Dad? Claire, maybe? _

_It was as if she was floating; she glided up to the door. Her hand reached out for the doorknob, and after twisting it open and quickly crossing the front foyer she stood in the archway to the living room, facing its occupant. _

_But it wasn't her mom, dad, or Claire. _

_He stood in the corner, facing the window. But who was it? She couldn't make out exactly. He was tall, that she could tell, but every other feature was blurred to the point where she couldn't even make it out. Then he turned, once he'd realized she was in the room. She now was just seconds to finding out who he was, who was in her house, who-_

"Hey, Massie."

The brunette felt three soft prods at her forearm. _No, stop. Leave me alone. _Her dream was slipping away, and she fought hard to hold onto it for as long as she could. Who was this stranger? She had to know…

But no, it was too late. She was awake. And staring at the ever so cheerful face of Claire Lyons.

"What?" Massie asked. It was a cross between a groan and mumble, a hybrid that Massie found herself using now more than before.

"Sorry to wake you, but we're landing shortly," Claire sat back in her seat next to Massie, adjusting her navy cardigan. "The captain just made the announcement."

Massie sat back up in her seat, blinking rapidly at the lightning. Across the narrow aisle Cam was seated with headphones in, next to a businessman and an elderly woman. He looked calm, which to be honest was quite the opposite then what Massie was feeling.

In a few short minutes, she'd be reunited with friends she hasn't seen in two months. The excitement alone was sending her stomach reeling, and for several moments she'd felt as if the bowl of Cheerios she'd munched upon a few hours ago was in danger of evacuating her system into the neatly folded barf bag in front of her. But so far, she's managing to hold it in.

With a lurch, the plane hit a small pocket of turbulence. Massie could feel Claire tense beside her, letting out a small curse, and it was then Massie remembered of her friend's fear of dying in a plane. "Do you think that could really happen?" A wide-eyed Claire had asked her after they'd watched the pilot of _Lost_ together. "_Oh my god_. I'm not getting on a plane again." But here she is now.

After the plane had safely touched down onto the tarmac and Claire had released her monster grip on the armrest, they began the slow trek up the aisle and through the jet bridge connecting them to the terminal. And once out in the busy airport, Massie used the text Alicia had sent her the evening before with the full day's schedule as a reference:

**Meet at the gate for the transfer plane to pitkin county airport. **

Massie sighed, tucking her iPhone back into it's designated front pocket of her Marc by Marc Jacobs black cross-body hobo bag. Alicia had set up a smaller transfer plane to take them straight to the airport in Aspen from the Denver airport.

Relaying the information to her traveling counterparts, the three of them now stood in front of the Departures board. "There," Cam said, pointing up at one of the many listed flights. "Gate A2."

Massie lagged behind as Claire and Cam led the way through the crowded terminals. Each step was taking her closer and closer to the obvious confrontation she's been dreading since getting the invitation for this little getaway. She turned and took one last look at the way she had just came.

The temptation of turning around and running away was getting stronger and stronger.

**[ ]**

Alicia sighed, pushing back her raven hair with a manicured hand.

"Relax," Chris coaxed from her side. "They'll be here."

"The flight boards in twenty minutes," She gave a worried glance to the digital clock hanging over the doorway to the jet bridge to confirm her statement. "I don't want to miss this flight."

It was Chris' turn to sigh now. Alicia had been a bundle of nerves and excitement ever since they had woken up at five this morning to catch their flight to Denver. Though he could understand why- he himself was also excited to see his friends again.

"Cam! Claire!" Alicia suddenly yelled from his right, causing him to jerk his head up in excitement. He spotted the pair instantly in the crowds of people.

Claire beamed and wrapped her long-time friend in a hug, which was gladly returned. "Hey, Leesh!"

"Fisher," Chris smirked. "Still dark and brooding, I see?"

Cam snorted. "Hey, I don't brood. I ponder."

"Well, you're also still a pansy."

"Hey," Massie greeted as she finally caught up. "It's great to see you guys."

Alicia couldn't stop smiling as she hugged the brunette girl. Things were finally coming together.

"_Flight 706 to Pitkin, now boarding at gate A2."_

"That would be us, guys," Chris said, scooping up his carryon duffle from beside the seat he was previously occupying.

Alicia grinned, following the rest of her friends into the line to board. This was going to be the best Christmas of her life.

**[ ]**

The Rivera's Aspen cabin was almost completely separate from the other lodges and resorts. A half a mile outside of town but yet still close to the slopes, it was a towering two story log cabin- if you could call it that, anyway. There was a large porch wrapping around most of the first floor and great large windows directly in the front. It looked warm, cozy, and absolutely luxurious.

After paying the shuttle bus that had brought them there, Alicia led the way up the two front stairs and to the front door. "Okay guys," She said, pulling out her keychain. "We need to leave this place as pristine as it is now. Let's not break anything."

"I think its Kemp you'll have to worry about when it comes to that," Chris said, a small smile on his face. "Remember back in junior year when he smashed a window at Kori Gedan's house after he had one too many Jack Daniel's?" Massie and Claire chuckled at the memory.

"And do you remember how he had to pay the damages from his own pocket? Because that will happen here, too," Alicia smirked at Chris, pressing down on the door latch and pushing it open.

The door opened up to a small, open foyer with stone flooring, which then led on to an open kitchen/dining/living room area, with a large masonry fireplace. The wood paneled floors, leather couches, and numerous throw rugs gave it a warm, cozy feeling.

"Wow, Leesh," Claire said, talking a look around. "I can't believe you've never brought us here before."

"It's because I hate you guys so much," She joked, closing the door after them. Tossing her keys into the bowl on the table by the door, Alicia turned back around to see them. "So, bedrooms are up stairs. Though, you'll have to share with somebody."

"You get floor!" Chris yelled out, pushing Cam out of his way and bolted up the wood-railed staircase.

"Dude," Cam turned slowly, looking up at the balcony overlooking the great room. "Who said I'm rooming with you?"

Chris sucked in a breath. "Ooh, Fisher, that was harsh. Excuse me while I pull the knife out of my heart." He climbed he remaining stairs before disappearing from sight.

Massie laughed at his antics, shaking her head. She looked over at Claire and Alicia. "We can fit three in a room, I'm sure."

"Nah, I think I'd better take my parent's room," Alicia said. "Who knows what the boys would do to it."

"That's an excellent point," Massie said, grabbing her suitcase and beckoning to Claire. "Come on, we can't let Chris get the best one."

**[ ]**

The room they ended up picking was at the very end of the long hallway upstairs. A large bay window over looked the snowy backyard, the trees, and the town beyond. The furnishings were similar to the living room in that they were cozy and almost all wooden. Claire sighed, flinging back on the queen sized bed and inhaling the fresh detergent scent of the white duvet. "Mmm," She moaned. "This is going to be fantastic."

"Mhm," Massie agreed half-heartedly, unzipping her suitcase.

"Oh, come on Massie," Claire sat up, shedding off her heavy white North Face coat and reveling the black tunic underneath. "It's not going to be that bad. Just awkward, that's for sure."

Massie didn't say anything. Instead she was trying to figure out why she even agreed to come out here, when she knew full on well he was going to be here too. Sure, it was nice to see Alicia and Chris, and it would be great to see Kris and Dylan when they get here too. Those nervous butterflies she had grown to hate so much in the past twenty-four hours were back and more annoying than ever.

**[ ]**

A few minutes later, another shuttle bus pulled up.

"Holy shit," Derrick mumbled, seeing the house for the first time. When he had read 'cabin' on the invitation, he had pictured a two-room structure with no source of heat save for the fireplace. But what he saw was a most definitely more than two rooms estate with most likely central heating throughout.

Rivera had been most certainly holding out on them.

"You can say that again," Josh agreed, stepping out of the tram next.

"Holy shit."

"Language, Derrick," Kristen tucked her book of word searches that was purchased at the airport into her oversized purse. "You could be a little less barbaric and say something like, 'holy cow' or, 'sweet southern potatoes'."

Derrick just looked at her. It had been an uncomfortable transfer flight and bus ride up here, to say the least. Kristen made a pretty obvious attempt at completely ignoring Josh, and to make up for it she had been saying completely out-of-character things for the past two hours.

"It's freezing," Dylan said, clumsily stepping off the shuttle and wrapping her arms around herself. Immediately she clambered through the snow to the front door.

"Dyl, you forgot your stuff!" Josh called after her. He sighed and picked up the redheads luggage along with his own. From his left, Kristen narrowed her eyes.

"Way to be a gentleman, Hotz," Kemp said quietly, venom present in his vocals.

Derrick's dark brows crinkled. "What's your deal?"

"Oh, nothing," His friend said, adjusting the strap of his backpack and following suit.

Exchanging a look with him, Kristen sighed. "I think this will be an interesting week."

**[ ]**

"_They're here!"_

Alicia opened the door the second the five of them stepped on the porch. She threw her arms open and engulfed the closest one to her, Dylan, in an enormous hug. "_Ah!_ I'm so excited that everybody is all here!"

Ushering them inside, she made sure to give everybody the same strangling experience as she gave to Dylan. They didn't have time to stand in awe of everything, because Chris and Cam came barreling down the stairs.

"Guys!" Chris said, coming up and giving hugs to everyone.

"Hey Plovert," Kemp said, popping the first smile Derrick has seen on his face today. "How've you been, buddy?"

"I've been, I've been," Chris responded with a smile.

"Cammie!" Kristen yelled out, causing Cam to give a flustered smirk.

"Hey, Kris." He said, giving her a one-armed hug.

"Massie!" Dylan yelled, looking upwards at the stairs. Derrick turned.

She was leaning forward on the railing incasing the balcony. Her face expressionless, Massie surveyed the activities in the living room. She gave a small smile when Dylan called out, but as far as acknowledgments that was it. But then her gave shifted to Derrick's.

It was kind of funny how much it hurt to see her again. Sure, Derrick never thought that it would be a cake walk, but this? It was excruciating. Those eyes would be the death of him, especially to see them with look at his with this indifference- like she didn't care about him anymore. And then it was like she just figured out it was him she was looking at, because she turned away and stared at the railing.

"So the bedrooms are up stairs," Alicia said, forcing Derrick's gaze from Massie and onto her. "You can take any that are available except for the master bedroom, and you're going to have to share with someone."

"Dyl, you're with me," Kristen grabbed the red-head's forearm and pulled her up the stairs, completely missing the look of guilt and dread that was on her friend's features.

"Derrick, I've saved you a place," Cam said.

"Aw, how touching Fisher," Derrick teased. He picked up his bags and began to follow him up the stairs.

Massie, he noticed, had already disappeared from her perch.

**[ ]**

Claire sighed, pushing her hair out of her face. They had been in Aspen for about three hours, and things were still extremely awkward. Massie (who was laying next to her on one of the two living room sofas sleeping, the book she had been reading open on her chest) was being uncharacteristically quiet, while Derrick (who was in the den checking out the entertainment system) was making too obvious attempts at avoiding her. And then there was the weird behavior with Dylan she had also been noticing. One moment, she'd be eyeing Kristen wearily and the next, it was Josh. Kemp even was acting unusual- he grumbled around the cabin with what seemed a permanent crease in his brows.

Sighing, the blonde changed tracks on her iPods. She figured the soothing sounds of _The Gaslight Anthem _would distract her from all of the nonsense that usually seemed come with her close group of friends.

_Don't write me no more letters  
My mailbox is full of bombs  
Between you and the kooks on my block  
I don't remember the good times  
I wasn't there and you were kind  
And my wife has some dogs in our yard_

_And I cannot hold a candle for every pretty girl  
We were strangers many hours  
And I missed you for so long_

_When we were lions, lovers in combat  
Faded like your name on those jeans that I burned_

_But I am older now  
And we did it when we were young  
I am older now  
And we did it when we were young_

"Hey, we're thinking about going out to dinner," Chris said suddenly, blocking out the lyrics the second he stepped into the room. "What are you interested in eating?"

"Chris, shut up," Claire grumbled, turned her head and glaring at him. "You're talking over my favorite part."

"Okay, then I'll just tell them you prefer to eat your stolen babies by yourself," Smirking like the immature eighth grader everyone knew he still was.

"You're so stupid," She groaned, though she made sure it was loud enough to hear him. In response, she got a chuckle. "Tell them I'll eat where ever everyone else wants to go."

"Alright," He said, turning and taking his leave from the room. "Though I think we all want Chinese."

From beside her, Massie shifted. Claire sighed before shaking her shoulder lightly. "Mass?" She said softly. "We're going to eat soon, so you should get ready."

"I don't want to go," She groaned; as she had obviously been awake the entire time.

"Massie, come on."

Amber was revealed to the world in short flutters. Sitting up, Massie's book fell to the floor, the embossed _Pride & Prejudice_ shining in the light before it hit the ground with a clatter.

"I thought you wrote your paper on that months ago," Claire commented, motioning to it.

"I did," The brunette said groggily. "But I actually like this book. And, not to mention I can understand it."

Laughing, Claire plucked her headphones out of her ears. "I'm glad. It _is_ a fantastic book."

Stretching, Massie stood. "That it is. Now come help me get ready for whatever the hell I'm being dragged to."

**[ ]**

Sighing, Massie pushed her mandarin orange chicken back and forth on her plate. Though it was no doubt delicious, stuffing her face with fried foods did not seem all that appealing to it. Her stomach twisted just at the though of one hitting her mouth.

The restaurant they had found was a family owned Chinese restaurant on the corner of the main street. It had Christmas decorations set up over the traditional Chinese décor, and although it looked a little cute and seasonal, Massie so desperately wanted to crawl into her bed and sleep until noon the next day. Or maybe the day after.

At the other end of the table, Josh and Cam let out a laugh. She looked up briefly to see what it was, but then she was quick to put it down at the intense flash of chocolate brown she saw instead. God, why was he still looking at her?

"So, if you guys can believe it, I got a job," Alicia said, starting up a conversation with the girls and popping a chopstick full of chow mien into her mouth.

"Doing what? Pole dancing?" Joked Kristen. Massie snorted into her plate, not able to help herself.

Glaring, Alicia continued. "At a café down in SoHo. It's actually going great."

"How'd you manage to find one?" Claire asked, pulling away from her brief conversation with Cam. "You don't have much job experience."

"I know I don't, and the girl who hired me told our boss that I did. Isn't that weird?" Alicia looked around at everyone for agreement.

"Yeah, that's bizarre," Dylan said, giving a forced smile. From across the table, Josh smiled at her. Dylan looked down at her lap.

"Can someone pass the rice?" Derrick asked, leaning forward to see whom it was nearest to.

Massie held up the red bowl, but her face turned the slightest pink when she realized who had asked for it. "Uh, can you pass this down to Derrick?" She said to Claire, giving her the bowl, who in turn gave it to Cam. Cam handed it over to Derrick without looking up.

"Uh, thank you," Derricks said quietly.

**[ ]**

"That was certainly awkward," Cam said to Claire, shrugging off his wool coat and hanging it up on one of the hooks by the door.

Claire scoffed. "No kidding. Poor Massie, she can barely be in the same room with Derrick." After they had got home, Massie had been the first up the stairs.

"I know. Derrick feels terrible."

"As he should. I mean, they broke up because of him," Kicking her shoes off, Claire took a seat on the couch with her legs folded underneath her.

Lowering himself next to her, Cam exhaled. "And Josh and Kristen? Man, I can feel it getting colder in the room every time they're both in it."

"Maybe this trip wasn't such a good idea," Claire turned herself to face him. "There's just too much tension with us."

"But how else are we supposed to fix it?" Cam asked.

"What if we locked them in a room together?" Suggested the blonder of the two, grinning.

Laughing, Cam said, "That's a little too middle-school, don't you think?"

They were both silent for a while. Around them, the house creaked as it adjusted to having people sleeping in it after so long.

"So how many more Christmas gifts do you have left to get?" He asked her.

Claire grinned again. "Just a couple. I brought most of them with me."

"Oh yeah?" It was his turn to grin now. "Got anything for me yet?"

"I do, and you're going to be blown away."

"Really? Are you gonna give me any hints?"

"Nope, you're just going to have to wait for another two days." Claire teased. "What did you get me, huh?"

"I can guarantee it's going to be the best present you've ever received in your lifetime," Cam said back.

Claire smiled, "Good." They sat in silence again, with her now realizing how tired she actually was. She leaned her head over on the back of the couch, resting centimeters away from Cam's arm.

"You tired?" He asked her.

"Mhm."

A pause. "Are you going to sleep on the couch then?"

"No, I'll go up in a bit," Claire closed her eyes, grabbing a hold of his arm and pulling it closer to her face to rest it upon.

Cam couldn't help but stiffen slightly at the sudden close contact. Why must she do these things to him? Doesn't she see how it pains him that they can never get as close as they used to?

"Uh, Claire," He said. "What are you doing?"

"Leaning against your arm," Claire responded. "It's actually pretty comfortable. Why? Does it bother you?"

"Yes actually, it does," Cam surprised even himself when he heard those words exit his mouth. He sat up suddenly, pulling away and getting to his feet.

"Cam," Claire said, looking at him with a puzzled expression. "What is your deal?"

"My deal?" He was getting frustrated now- almost angry, even. "You, actually. One day you're all over me, and then next you're crying or freaking out about something that happened years ago." He watched her eyes furrow and her mouth open to retort, but her cut her off. "Yes, I get it, I hurt you, but I thought we've moved on from that! And not to mention, you have a boyfriend. Colter, you remember him?" Again she tried to intervene, but he wouldn't let her talk. Not yet, anyway. "Claire, I am sick of playing games with you. I'm sick of standing by and _waiting_ for you. So give me a straight up answer; do you want to be with me?"

Stunned, Claire's mouth opened but no sound came out. He waited, waited for her to say something, anything, but it never came.

"Fine," He said, not looking her in the eyes. "Great. Now I can move on. Goodnight."

Cam took the stairs two at a time, leaving the blonde alone in the dark.

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**ehh, it's something, right?**

**the song claire is listening to is **we did it when we were young **by **the gaslight anthem.  
**and chapter title from a song by **the boy least likely to.

**review? that would make me happy, i know that :D**


	22. The Heart Is Hard to Find

**i don't really like this chapter, but it's been a while and you guys deserve it for being so amazing.**

**THANK YOU TO: **SYDNEY!, I LOVE NEW YORK, Amazingxlivexlovexlaughx3, 2plus2equals5, laughyytaffy, whereitallbegins, greggsulkinforever,** and **drowning in technicolor dreams**.**

**

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**

Chapter Twenty-Two: _The Heart Is Hard to Find_

The curtains were pushed back, letting the sunlight finally reach every corner of the vast bedroom. And the first thing Massie noticed, with out even opening her eyes, was that the sun's rays were brighter after being reflected off on the blanket of snow.

"Massie," Claire's voice said. "You need get up. Breakfast is ready."

"But I'm so tired," She complained, burying herself deeper into the blanket. It was her sanctuary, her safe zone.

"No, I'm pretty sure you're not," She heard her friend make her way around the bed, her shadow hanging over Massie's form. "I think you're only saying that and acting this way because Derrick's here."

She didn't say anything. Partially it was because she thought the idea was ludicrous, and because she thought it could also be true. Why was it that she always had the need to act like some kind of weak individual whenever Derrick was involved?

"So please don't act like this again."

Sighing, Massie pushed herself up, trying her hardest to ignore her pounding head. "I guess you're right. I mean, why give him the satisfaction, huh?"

"Thank you," Claire said, taking a seat at the foot of bed.

It was then Massie noticed the dark circles on her friend's face. "What's wrong with you?"

"There was another Cam thing last night," She says with a sigh.

Massie leaned forward in anticipation, but then stopped. "Wait, hang on." She deepened her voice. "Previously on _Days of Our Lives_…"

Claire's cerulean eyes narrowed. "You're hilarious."

"Sorry, sorry. Go on."

She begins to retell the story, "So we were talking downstairs after dinner. Nothing really felt weird about it, we were just talking like we normally do. But then he just freaked out, completely out of no where. He said that I'm always all over him on day and crying the next, and then he asked me if I wanted to be with him. Like, really be with him."

Massie blanched. "Well? What did you say?"

"I didn't say anything!" Claire said. "I mean, what would you say? He was standing there asking me to make a choice between him and Colter."

"Wait, he doesn't know that you two broke up?"

"No, I hadn't told him."

Massie shook her head incredulously. "My god, you guys are almost hilarious." She pushed back the comforter and crossed the room to the closet. She heard Claire sigh dramatically behind her while she hunted for something to wear.

"I don't know if telling him would even make a difference now."

"Well, do you want to be with him?" It seemed to be the million-dollar question that had never been directly answered as more as it was danced around, but Massie knew it had to be asked.

It took the blonde a moment so answer. "I don-" She stopped herself. "Don't know. I mean… Yeah, I don't know."

Massie was quiet. She didn't envy her friend for this situation, but sometimes she felt that she had the tendency to make things more complicated for herself. So instead of voicing her opinion on the subject for the what seemed like the thousandth time, she continued on with picking her outfit. Holding up a grey knit cowl neck sweater, Massie changed the subject. "What do you think of this?"

"It's great," The response was unoptimistic and forced, but Massie knew that was all she was going to get out of her.

But at least she knew she wasn't the only one whom boys affected like that.

**[ ]**

"Good morning!" Kristen greeted as Massie and Claire entered the kitchen. On her left, she noticed Derrick look up from his plate. "Help yourself to some bacon and pancakes." She was perched up on one of the many barstools at the high marble countertops the state-of-the-art kitchen held.

"Now that we're all up," Alicia said, taking initiative immediately. "Let's discuss what we're doing for today."

"I want to hit the slopes," Cam said in a monotone, paying special attention to his syrupy pancakes.

"Same here," Piped Josh.

"Okay," Alicia nodded. "We can do that. There's a lodge just down the hill that has access to the lifts, so we can just go through there."

"Sounds like a plan," Chris rubbed his hands together expectedly, but then stopped. A frown graced his features. "But, we don't have our boards."

The tall raven-haired girl lifted a forkful of strawberry slices to her mouth. "We have snowboards and skis in the garage."

During all this discussion, Massie had been staring at her empty plate. She honestly had no interest in going skiing. "I think I'll go to go shopping instead. Anyone wanna come?"

Claire looked relieved. "_Yes!_ I mean, uh," She cleared her throat. "Yeah, count me in."

Massie's eyes narrowed in a smile. She knew that Claire, just as well as her, wasn't interested in hanging around with them- especially Cam and Derrick. "Anyone else?"

"Sure, I'll go," Kristen said. "I have more presents to get."

Alicia nodded. "Okay then, so we'll just split up for the day and meet back here later."

The room fell into a silence again. All that was heard was the scraping of forks against plates. Saying that the atmosphere was awkward would be an understatement.

"So, anyone want to help me bake cookies for Santa later?" Chris asked, an obvious attempt at a tension breaker.

But no one decided to dignify that with a response.

**[ ]**

"What do you think about this?" Kristen asked, holding up a teardrop diamond necklace. The trio was currently at the Prada store in the popular Aspen shopping district. Christmas music was playing softly in the background as a soundtrack for this occasion.

Massie looked up from the clothing rack she was browsing through. "Oh yeah, that's a nice one."

Kristen smiled, and checked the tag dangling off the side. The smile vanished almost as quickly as it had appeared. "Uh, never mind."

Claire gave a short laugh. She was sitting on a chair not far from the other two, and she knew better than to even tease her self with the things in this high end store. There was no way she could afford anything. "So who is it that you need to get a gift for, Kris? I could help you find something."

"Oh, no one," Kristen said. "I just didn't want to go snowboarding with Josh."

"That's understandable," Massie mumbled.

Sighing, Kristen put the necklace back. "I just wish we never went out to begin with. Then there wouldn't be all this stupid tension that's obviously hard on the whole group."

"Yeah, well," Massie gave a small smile. "You aren't the only one guilty for dating within our close circle of friends. In fact, all of us have, now that I think about it."

"I think we doomed ourselves from the start," Claire realized, offering up a short laugh.

"But was it worth it?" Kristen said, circled a clothing rack. "I mean, look at us now. Sometimes, I can't even say honestly that it was."

Massie looked over at her friend, and she found herself internally agreeing with her. Was a four yearlong relationship with Derrick worth what they were going through now? This awkward dancing around each other to mask up the pain they both feel?

**[ ]**

The ski lift jolted to a stop, leaving Derrick and Cam dangling over the snowy hillside. "Ah, god damn it," Derrick leaned to the side, trying to get a better view of the front. "What moron fell off?"

"Hey!" Cam exclaimed. He held out a hand in an attempt to settle the swaying bench. "Knock it off and sit still."

Derrick gave a short laugh. "Sorry man. Forgot about your height issues." He sighed, his breath escaping him in a cloud of fog. This was heaven. He was on the slopes with his best friend in the world, surrounded by tall trees covered in snow. Sure, they were stuck right now for who knows how long, but nothing could beat this.

"Breakfast was sure awkward today, huh?" Cam says, staring straight ahead at the people in front of them.

Scoffing Derrick turned to look at him. "You could cut the tension with a butter knife." His snowboard bumped into Cam's as the seat rocked gently in the wind. "Don't tell me you and Claire aren't talking again?" His friend just glared at him with his multicolored eyes. "Being friends is really working out for you, huh?"

"Shut up, Harrington," Cam retorts.

"So what happened, Fisher?" Derrick is grinning now. "Did you get tired of sitting by and just being _friends_?"

"If you must know-"

"Which, I do, as your best friend."

"- we were sitting in the living room last night, talking, and then she leaned her head on my shoulder. And it was like some line was crossed, one that really shouldn't have been. And it got me thinking about what you said earlier. You know, about how you'd rather not be in Massie's life at all then to sit by and watch her date someone else. Then I realized that I was tired of letting her play me with all these mixed signals, but the still going back to him. So I told her to make a choice, and she chose."

"Huh," Derrick said. "So are you actually not going to speak to her again?"

"That's my plan," Cam said, rubbing his gloved hands together to add warmth. The lift began to move again, and behind them the pair heard a small cheer from another skier. "I'm just hoping I can actually stick with it."

Derrick shook his head with a smile, pulling his goggles over his eyes. "Knowing you, I doubt it. You can never stay away from Claire. Everything you do has to be so complicated for yourself."

"Complicated like how you dumped Massie for a girl you met while away at school but never decided to mention that small little detail to her?" Cam retorted. The seat lowered as the lift brought them closer to the top of the mountain.

"Actually I'd say that's pretty straightforward," Derrick leaned forward and strapped his other foot back to his snowboard. On his left, Cam did the same.

"Why won't you tell her?" Cam said, placing his goggles back down over his eyes. "Doesn't she deserve to know?"

"Seriously, what good would that do me now? I mean, she'd only get more pissed off at me, and it would lower any chance of-" He stopped himself.

Cam looked at him expectedly. "The chances of?"

Derrick paused, looking down below at the snow that was slowly coming up towards them. "Nothing, it's nothing."

**[ ]**

Hours later, back at the Rivera chateau, everyone was unwinding from the days activities in their own ways. Alicia had set herself up in the living room, wrapped in a blanket and nursing a mug of hot chocolate. Before her, the fireplace was ablaze, crackling as it devoured the wood logs. She sighed, inhaling the heat rising from the drink in her hands.

Around the living room were various family pictures. On the mantle, Alicia could see a family portrait taken back when she was still in elementary school. In the photo, her hair was done in two braids, and her face was still round with what was left of her baby fat. Her mother and father stood on either side of her, all three of them beaming off to the side of the lens.

But if only her family was really a reflection of that picture.

"Mind if I join?"

She looked up to see Chris standing in the large doorway, clutching his navy scarf in his hand.

"Sure," Alicia said. "But I thought you guys were watching something in the other room."

"To be honest, I've never been a really big basketball fan," Chris plopped himself on the couch next to her. "Man, my legs are sore. Who would think that one day of snowboarding would be such a workout?"

Alicia grinned. "Maybe it's a sign that you need to get back into shape."

"Hey," Chris protested, the corners of his mouth tugging with a smile. "I'm fit. My abs are like a washboard."

"Oh yeah?" Alicia leaned over and gave his stomach a poke, causing him to lean forward in recoil. "That sure feels rock hard." Mocking Chris was just too much fun to pass up.

"Hey," He rubbed where she poked him. "I wasn't ready…"

Laughing, she turned to look at the fireplace again and raised the cup to her lips.

"So thanks again for having us all over here," Chris said. "I know you're probably risking a lot, seeing as you didn't ask your parents if we could be here."

"It's no problem," She said. "They would've said no anyways. And I needed this. We all do." Sighing, she placed her mug on the coffee table. "Besides, even if they find out they couldn't be anymore disappointed in me then they already are."

Chris raised his eyebrows at her in question.

Alicia shook her head slightly. "Ever since I was kicked out of Princeton, I can tell something has changed between us. I mean, when I got my acceptance letter last year they were just _so_ happy, so proud. And it felt good, you know, as it normally does to make your parents proud. But it seemed from the moment I started there I knew I wasn't going to be able to do it."

From the other room, she could hear Josh and Cam cheering loudly. Whatever was happening in the game got pretty exciting.

"Did I ever tell you that my dad really wanted me to be a boy?" She asked him. "Yeah, he really wanted a boy. It was something about taking over his law firm or whatever, but either way he didn't think that a girl could do it. He was disappointed to have a girl. He's never actually admitted it to me, but I know it's true. And then I guess I confirmed his belief when I got kicked out of school. They can't even see that I'm actually happier without all the stress of that Ivy League death trap."

"That's.. rough," Chris said. "I'm sorry."

"There's nothing for you to be sorry about," She looked over at him. "You're parents support you, even though you didn't even go to college."

Chris scooted closer, putting his arm around her. "Hey, you're parents still love you, I'm sure of it. They just can't get over that you're not doing what they wanted you to do."

Alicia leaned her head against his shoulder. "It doesn't really feel like it sometimes."

**[ ]**

Kemp entered the vast kitchen, stopping in the doorway. Kristen and Dylan were side by side at the large island counter, shaping dough into cookies with several holiday themed cookie cutters. They looked up when they noticed his presence.

"Oh hey Kemp," Kristen said, pressing out a Christmas tree. "We're making cookies. Would you like to help?"

Next to the tall blonde, Dylan was making intense eye contact with him. "Uh, no, that's okay," He passed behind them, and opened the fridge.

As he reached for a bottle of Gatorade, he heard Kristen laugh behind him. "Oh my gosh, Dylan, that Santa looks demented!"

Dylan's laughter was heard next. "Well, at least it's better than your reindeer! It's antlers look like a giant tumor!"

The bottles and jars in the side of the door rattled as Kemp slammed it closed. Dylan looked up, meeting his harsh gaze again with a worried look.

She made him sick.

Footsteps caused all three of them to turn their attention to the doorway. Josh's smile wavered when he saw who else was in the kitchen as his gaze brushing over his former girlfriend and his former best friend. "Uh, Dylan, can you come and help me with something really fast?"

Kemp's hand froze, midway through unscrewing the cap. He looked over at Dylan, daring her to leave an unsuspecting-

"Yeah, uh, okay," She wiped her hands on the sides of her jeans. "I'll be right back Kris."

In disbelief he watched her cross the floor, watched her follow Josh out of sight. He shook his head. Just simply ridiculous. He knew what Josh needed help with, alright.

Kristen's mood had noticeably dampened with Josh's quick appearance. Any traces of a smile were gone, replaced instead by a firm brow and a tight mouth. This was all just so unfair to her. Kemp knew she was taking the break up hard, but if she only knew the real reason…

Kemp slammed the bottle down on the counter with a little more force than intended. Screw it. She doesn't deserve this.

"Hey, Kristen? I need to tell you something."

* * *

**the next few chapters should be interesting (:  
title from **the heart is hard to find **by **jimmy eat world**.  
it's amazing, go listen to it. **

**review?**


	23. Blindsided

**i wanted to get the christmas chapters done before christmas, but i failed  
i think you'll like this chapter anyways though :D**

**THANK YOU: **WakeMeUpWhenItsYesterday, whereitallbegins, chrissyx3, Amazingxlivexlovexlaughx3, thepartyofourlives45, Josie, **and **I LOVE NEW YORK.

**and a merry christmas and a happy new year to everyone!**

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Three: _Blindsided_

It was the morning of December 24th. And though the excitement of waking up one day before Christmas seemed to have worn off as some grew older, there were still those few who were as passionate about the holidays as if they were eight years old again.

"Oh my god guys," Chris said the second he stepped into the kitchen, sporting his old BOCD soccer sweatshirt. "It's Christmas Eve!"

"Thanks for the update, Tom Brokaw," Massie said sarcastically.

He ignored her. "I'm so excited! I think I'm going to go put my presents for you guys under the tree." Chris left the room as promptly as he entered it.

Alicia froze mid-chew. "Wait a second."

"Hmm?" Claire inquired through her own mouthful of cereal.

At that moment, Chris came barreling back into the room. "Uh, where the hell is our tree?"

"We don't have a tree…" Alicia sunk down in her seat. "Sorry guys."

Massie shrugged. "So? I'm sure we can get by without one. We'll take a branch from outside and decorate it with balls of paper."

Chris inhaled sharply. "No, we cannot! Not only is that lame, it's stupid! Man, it's no wonder it hasn't really felt like Christmas in this house, we don't have a god damn tree!"

"Holy shit," Kristen said, speaking for the first time that morning. "Calm down."

Massie gave her friend a quizzical look across the table. She'd been acting strange all morning, and it wasn't like her to swear. In fact, Massie can barely recall a time when she's ever heard Kristen Gregory swear.

"Calm down?" Chris repeated. He looked as if a retort was bubbling at his lips, but then he swiftly turned and marched out of the room. "Derrick!" His voice echoed throughout the large house. "Go get a tree!"

"What? _No!_"

The girls, minus Kirsten and a certain brunette, laughed at Derrick's response given from somewhere upstairs.

"Do it!"

"Why the hell do I have to go?"

"Because I said so, _that's why_!"

"No thanks, mother! Get off your ass and go get it yourself!"

Dylan, still laughing from the boy's exchange, reached over to Kristen. "Mind if I take your biscuit? There isn't any more left."

"Yes, actually," Kristen said coldly, meeting Dylan's eyes. "I do mind." She scooped up the biscuit resting on the edge of her plate and stormed out of the room.

"What's her deal?" Claire asked, staring after her.

"I don't know," Massie said, watching a very guilty looking Dylan play with the rest of her breakfast. Something was up; there was no doubt about that.

**[ ]**

"This blows," Derrick kicked his feet in the three inches of snow, having finally given in to Chris' demands. "That idiot pansy is the one pissing over this and he doesn't even come with us. Where in the hell are we going to get a Christmas tree on Christmas Eve?"

"Someone is sure to be selling them somewhere," Cam offered, always the optimist.

"And if not, we could always pull a Charlie Brown," Josh spoke up from behind them.

"No," Derrick said. "If the tree isn't taller than me, I'm not buying it. That's my rule."

"So our goal is to find an eight foot monstrosity one day before Christmas? Yeah, don't get your hopes up."

Cam's remark was rewarded with a snowball to the back of the head.

But he was right; someone was still selling trees in the greater Aspen area. It was a small lot a block out side of the shopping district, with Christmas lights strung across and over the trees. It reminded Derrick of his senior prom, which made him think of-

"Excuse me?" Cam asked of a man with a beard and who was wearing a bright orange beanie. "Could you direct us to your Douglas Fir trees?"

The man turned, looked at Cam, and then laughed. "Son, I'm not sure if we have many left. You shouldn't have waited this long. But you can go ahead and look; they're right over there." He pointed to the back corner of the lot.

Cam gave a weary smile. "Thank you."

"Douglas Fir?" Josh questioned. "Since when did you get to pick what kind we get?"

"Dude, Douglas Fir is the only way to go," Cam insisted, leading the charge down a bare aisle that used to hold Noble Firs. "Trust me."

But unfortunately, the man was right. There wasn't a whole lot of Douglas Firs left. Most of them barely reached Derrick's shoulder.

"What about this one?" Asked Josh, holding up one.

"It's bare in the middle, see?" Cam pointed out. Josh sighed and put it back in line.

Derrick scoffed, bending his knees to keep warm. "Who cares? Let's just get it and go. My feet are freezing."

"I care," Cam said sternly. "Christmas trees are the best part of Christmas, if you ask me. If it's not perfect, then my Christmas will suck."

"I'm pretty sure it already sucks. Hello, Claire, remember?"

"Yeah, well, I'm counting on this tree to make it better," He said with determination. "So we're not leaving here until we get a good one."

**[ ]**

"Hey, Alicia found some old ornaments," Massie announced, placing the box down in the living room. "So we now have stuff to decorate the tree with when they get back."

"Great," Kristen said in a monotone. She was slumped on the couch, staring at the wall in front of her with a hard expression.

Massie put her hands in the back pockets of her jeans. "Kris? Are you okay? Your kind of acting different, and to be honest, I don't think I can handle someone else being an emotional wreck this week."

Kristen didn't say anything for a while- she just continued to stare at the wall. But then, "I just found out that Josh dumped me so that he could be with Dylan. And that they hooked up even while we were still dating."

"What?" Massie said, stunned, taking a seat next to her friend. "I mean, how did you find this out?"

"Kemp told me," She said, her voice scary calm. "Last night. Apparently, he walked in on them in their dorm room right after he broke up with me."

Stunned, Massie didn't know what to say. "Oh."

"Yeah, _oh_," Kristen said. "I'm trying really hard not to punch her in the face. She's my best friend, you know, all of you are."

"You're just hoping that Kemp's wrong, aren't you?" Massie concluded for her.

Brushing away a tear that had yet to fall, Kristen nodded. "I guess so."

Massie sighed, putting an arm around her friend and pulling her close. "Things are really screwed up right now, aren't they?"

**[ ]**

"Derrick, throw me that string of lights, will you?" Claire asked, extending out her hand.

The Christmas tree they had eventually found was not half bad. It was a roughly seven foot tall Douglas Fir with little faults. Cam, the self-titled Christmas expert, even approved of it. Currently the group was rushing to decorate it before dinner, and so everyone was down in the living room helping out. Well, almost everyone.

"Hey, where's Massie?" Alicia said, looking up from her task of untangling a spool of ribbon.

"And Kristen's not here, either," Kemp said, sparing a glance to Dylan and Josh.

"I'll go find them," Claire said, stepping over a box.

"No, it's fine," Derrick held out a hand. "I'm closest, so I'll go."

Claire gave him a confused look. "Oh. Okay. Check our room first."

Massie and Claire's room was at the very end of the hallway upstairs. As Derrick approached, he didn't see any light seeping out of the crack underneath the door, but he figured it would be good to check anyways. And so he rapped his knuckles lightly against the wood. "Massie?"

Having not being closed all the way, the door slowly opened at his touch. There was no response, but he had to be sure. Tentatively, he opened the door.

The room was dark, but as the curtains were drawn back light managed to drift in through the large paned windows. Outlined on the bed was the form of a feminine figure; Massie, no doubt.

"Uh, Mass?" Derrick whispered. "Block?" He inwardly winced at the use of that nickname. As quietly as he could, he moved closer to the bed.

Then suddenly, Massie sat up with a jolt, causing Derrick to jump. "Holy shit," He said.

"Hey, you scared me too," She said, pulling a set of headphones out of her ears. "Sorry. I guess I had these up too loud."

"Oh?" Derrick said, clearing his throat. "Anything good?"

"Just Coldplay's new Christmas single, so, yeah, it's something good." She offered up a small smile. "What is it?"

"We're decorating the tree now," He said, suddenly feeling the need to do something with his hands. "We thought you should join us."

"Oh, yeah, I'll come down."

It was then that Derrick noticed the movement outside. "Hey, is it snowing right now?"

Massie smiled, and even in the dim lighting he could still see how brilliant it was. "Oh, yeah, that's what I was watching. It's beautiful, isn't it?"

Derrick moved as close as he could bear to her, trying to get a better view. "Yeah, it sure is. A little mesmerizing, too."

"Right? I don't know, maybe it's just me, but if I stare at it for so long it feels as if the world slowed down." She spoke quietly, her voice just above a whisper.

He stood there for a moment, staring out the window. "Nope, it's not just you." Derrick looked down at her, only to find that she was looking at him too. The shadows on her face made her look softer, bringing out the innocence that he knew she possessed.

Massie cleared her throat. "Uh, let's get downstairs." She stood up, and passed around him.

"Right, yeah," Derrick mumbled, running a hand through his hair and following her out of the room.

**[ ]**

"It's looking great, guys," Cam said, standing back to admire their hard work. "I think that side needs a few more, though."

Claire stood up. "I got it." She picked up a glittery round gold one and hung it where it had pointed out. "Better?"

The dark haired boy let out some type of grunt in response, trying to busy himself with loose pieces of newspaper.

It was two hours later, and they had managed to deck out their tree to the max. Red and gold ribbon had been wrapped around to cover the white lights, giving it a glowing effect. And the theme of red and gold was continued with the choice in ornaments; orbs, stars and tinsel were hung at almost every square inch.

"Well I think it looks great," Alicia said, raising her camera. "Say cheese?" The shutter closed fast, capturing that moment in its small memory card.

"Whoa," Chris said, stepping towards the window. "Check out all the fresh snow."

"I saw," Derrick mumbled, fiddling with a nutcracker.

"Maybe we should go outside," Alicia suggested. "You know, build a snowman, an igloo, all that fun stuff before dinner?"

"I'm down for that," Claire said, maybe a little too enthusiastic. Everyone else mumbled or nodded.

It took them a few minutes to get on all their coats and boots. Claire was midway through wrapping her scarf around her neck when she suddenly stopped. "I think Kristen should be out here. Should I go get her?"

"I don't know if she'll come down," Massie said, trying hard not to make eye contact with Dylan. "But I guess you can try."

And Claire vanished, leaving the remaining eight to trek out into the snow.

"Oh my god," Dylan said immediately into her first steps. "It's freezing."

"Well, then this shouldn't help at all," Josh said. He tossed a carefully aimed a snowball right for her shoulder.

"Hey!" She called out. The redhead took immediate action and bent down to scoop up her own mound of snow.

When Claire stepped outside, a down Kristen in tow, everyone was involved in the fight. Snowballs flew everywhere; Kristen stepped to the side to dodge one gone astray.

"Aren't you glad I brought you down?" Claire smiled at Kristen. "I mean, I think this is way more fun then sitting in your room by yourself."

"Mhm," Kristen's expressions said otherwise though.

The blonder of the two frowned. "Is something wrong?"

"I'm peachy."

"You're with friends," Claire put a hand on her friend's shoulder. "You can tell me."

Kristen stood there on the porch, watching Dylan chase Josh around the yard. Her eyes narrowed, brow firmly set, she quickly turned back towards Claire. "You wanna know what's wrong?" Without waiting for an answer, she swiftly marched down the stairs and through the snow. "Dylan Marvil stole my boyfriend, that's what's wrong!"

Everyone froze.

Dylan looked at the ground, or up at the threes, or anywhere else but at Kristen. "That's ridiculous. I did no such thing."

Kristen kept walking, right up to Dylan. "You're going to deny it? Face it; you were always jealous of me having a boyfriend, weren't you? All through high school, and don't think I couldn't tell. You saw a window of opportunity while you two were alone at Dartmouth and you took it." At this point, she was right in Dylan's face, who resembled a deer caught in headlights.

"I, uh-"

"Yeah, can't deny it now!" Kristen looked pissed; angrier than anyone had ever seen her. "God, why the hell would you do that to me? What have I ever done to you to deserve that, huh? Because I sure as hell can't remember anything, so enlighten me!" Her gaze was harsh as she waited for a response. But Dylan remained quiet. "Exactly, I guess you're just naturally a terrible person. It's no wonder why your mom doesn't want anything to do with you." She turned and began walking back into the house.

"Take that back."

Kristen whirled around. "Take it back? No, it's the truth. You're a two faced bitch, I'm sorry you just can't bear to hear that."

Dylan stepped forward. It seemed like she finally found some words to say. "I'm the bitch? You've always flaunted your _great_ life around, ever since I can remember. 'Oh, look at me! I'm Kristen Gregory and I have straight A's, a great relationship, oh, and my parents _love_ me! Not to mention, I'm the varsity soccer captain. Next stop, Yale!' I'm sorry I can't be perfect like you."

"You got that right," Kristen said coolly. "You're not perfect, and you're not like me. I'd never do that to a friend. I have something called _morals_."

It happened a little too fast for anyone to catch on to. Something in Dylan snapped, for she jumped on Kristen, literally, pulling her down to the snow.

"Sweet southern potatoes," Derrick said, watching the two go at it, yelling insanities at the top of their lungs.

Claire was the first to react. "Guys! Get off!" She rushed forward. "What the hell is wrong with you?" But it was no use- Kristen and Dylan continued to bite, pinch, hit or pull anything they could reach.

"I say just let them fight it out," Josh said.

Claire looked up at him. "Uh no. I'm sorry you get some kind of sick pleasure from watching them fight over you, but I really don't." She bent down, grabbed a hold of Kristen around the middle and attempted to pull them apart. But a poorly aimed kick from Dylan caught her in the forehead. "Ow!" She stood, clutching her head.

"Oh, I'm sorry Claire!" Dylan took a brief pause from her catfight to address what she did.

Eventually, with the help of Massie and Alicia, Claire got the two to get off each other. Kristen was whisked into the kitchen by Massie, Dylan into her room by Alicia, and Claire said something about having to lie down. It was just the boys left. They hadn't moved, still trying to process what just happened.

"Uh," Chris said, turning towards Josh. "Care to explain?"

"Not really," He said.

"There's not really any need to," Kemp said. "Josh is a prick. That's basically it."

"Hey man," Josh faced Kemp. "What the hell is your problem?"

"Are you seriously asking me that?" Kemp stepped closer to Josh, not backing down. "You're more stupid than your cliché suggests."

"Hey, hey," Derrick said, stepping in-between to two. "Are you we going to have another catfight between you ladies now? Drop it. Yeah, Josh's actions were questionable- sorry, but you know it's true- and he probably ruined a ten-year friendship, but let's just forget about it between us guys. I'm sick of all this god damned drama between this whole group this week."

Josh looked at the ground, and Kemp still looked severely pissed off.

Cam had been staring at the house, deep in thought. "Hey, do you think Claire's alright?"

All four of the boys turned to him. "What?" Derrick asked.

"I mean, she got hit pretty hard in the head…" Cam's gaze was still focused on the house.

Derrick sighed. "Great" He mumbled, rubbing his eyes. "Okay, Romeo, then go check on her if you're so concerned."

Wordlessly, Cam trudged forward through the snow.

"Here we go again," Chris said.

**[ ]**

"Ow," Kristen hissed as Massie pressed a bag of frozen peas to a bruise that was forming on her cheekbone.

"Why the hell did you have to attack her, Kris?" Massie asked.

"Actually, she attacked me," Kristen said, defensively. "I probably thought about it first though."

Massie shook her head. "You two are ridiculous. Don't you think that Josh isn't worth ruining your friendship?"

"It's not about Josh," Explained Kristen, wincing as she attempted to stretch. "It's the principle of the thing. I could've been dating Puff the Magic Dragon and still be this pissed. What kind of friend goes for your boyfriend while you're in a different state?"

The brunette sighed. "I see your point."

"I mean, I was pissed off at my new friend at Yale for going after Derrick."

The pea bag on Kristen's face slipped. "What?" Massie deadpanned.

**[ ]**

The carpeted stairs muffled his footsteps and as ascended, as did the long runner in the hallway when he eventually reached the top. The room Claire shared with Massie was at the end of the hallway, and right now the door was shut.

Cam rapped his knuckles against the lightly stained wood. At first there was no response, but then a soft, "come in," wafted through the door.

The bedside lamp dimly lighted the room, and Cam immediately saw Claire on her side, legs curled up into her stomach. She raised her head at the door's opening.

"Hey," Cam said. "Just wanted to see if you were okay."

"Oh," He could tell that she was surprised. "Yeah, I'm fine." She laid her head back down.

Cam stood there. The silence between them was turning awkward, fast. So he turned, and started to make his way for the door.

"Wait," Claire spoke out. Cam turned around, and saw she was fully upright now. "Why are you here?"

Confused, Cam said. "To see if you were alright?" Hadn't he made that obvious?

"No," She said. "I mean, that's not the only reason you're here, is it?"

He didn't say anything.

She sighed, and stood walking closer to him. "You told me you were sick of playing games, and you never gave me a chance to say that I was too. You told me that I shouldn't be doing the things that I do, because I had a boyfriend, but you never gave me the chance to tell you that we broke up." Cam looked surprised and opened his mouth to say something, but Claire held up a finger to silence him.

"You told me to choose," She continued. "Him or you. But I don't think you realized that I made that choice weeks ago. Actually, I'm pretty sure I made that choice around the time you came back. It's you, you know."

Cam looked at her, his eyes searching her face for any kind of sign that this was a joke, just some cruel joke that she was playing on him. But with that small smile and sincerity in those blue eyes he loved so much, he knew that she meant what she said.

"So, yeah, that's what you didn't let me say-" Claire was cut off by Cam pressing his lips to hers, and soon she returned the kiss just as eagerly. God, it felt great after all these years to be kissing her again. She felt the same, tasted the same, and-

Cam pulled back, hands in the air. "Uh, sorry. Didn't mean to come at you like that."

Claire grinned, before pulling him into another kiss. It was more heated than the one before, with both of their hands tangling themselves in the other's hair. And Cam couldn't help but grin through it when he felt her hands pushing off his coat. "You sure?" He asked, breaking the kiss long enough to ask.

Her face was flushed, hair askew, but Claire had never looked more perfect to him. She smiled, pushing him back on the bed. "Never been more sure about anything."

* * *

**a hur hur hur**

**chapter title from **bon iver's blindsided.  
**and the song massie mentioned is entitled **_christmas lights._

**review? it would be fantastic.**


	24. Say When

**well hey there.  
yeah, it's been a while. i've been trying to write more for mile five, but i'm having difficulties with that. so for those of you still waiting on that, you might have to wait a little longer. sorry.  
and this chapter was kind of hard too. all of the things i had originally wanted to happen have either happened or have been planned to happen soon. and i'm at a creative slump, i guess. and i'm thinking about the end of this story, so i still have that to plan. oh boy. **

**but anyway, a _huge_ THANK YOU to my reviewers from last chapter: **ColdplayForever814, dreams of everyone, exactlywrong, InMyHeartForever, I LOVE NEW YORK, Josie, chrissyx3, whereitallbegins, drowning in technicolor dreams, laughyytaffyy, and the new girl from monday.

**it was great to read your reactions from last chapter (:**

**anyways, that's pretty much it. ENJOY!**

**

* * *

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Chapter Twenty-Four: _Say When_

The morning was quiet.

Cam's eyes opened with a flutter. It only took him a few moments to figure out that he wasn't in the room he shared with Derrick. He made to sit up, to analyze his surroundings and figure out where the hell he was, but something felt heavy across his chest had him anchored to the bed. When he looked down, his vision was obstructed by waves of blond hair.

_Oh. _Right.

Smiling now at the memory of the night before, he lays his head back on the pillow. Cam was in a total state of bliss. He didn't think he had ever felt as good at any moment in his lifetime as he did right now. Lifting a hand, he gently played with the ends of Claire's hair. He could lie like this forever.

But a knock at the door yanked him out of the dream world. "Claire, we're opening gifts soon," Massie said. "And Cam, that goes for you too."

His brows crinkled as he took in what she said. How did she know he was in here?

On his chest, Claire shifted, raising her head up. She looked at him with a sleepy smile. "Good morning."

"'Morning," He said softly, smiling back. "Massie says breakfast's ready."

Claire groaned. "I don't want to go down yet."

"But it's Christmas," Cam pointed out. "There are gifts downstairs, a roomful of our drama-prone best friends, and look," He motioned toward the window. "A fresh layer of snow."

Claire laughed. "Yeah, it sure sounds like heaven."

Cam leaned his head back down in the pillow. "Compared to Christmases back in Michigan, it certainly is."

Tracing circles on his bare chest, Claire spoke quietly. "You haven't told me anything about how life in Michigan was. Was it really that bad?"

"Claire, it was terrible." Cam said. "No one there was like any one of you guys. And the curriculum was so different, I was always behind in classes. Soccer was about the only thing that was the same, but the team was different. They didn't operate like how we used to, and let's just say we lost a lot. But I think the worst thing about Michigan was that you weren't there."

Claire beamed. "You're so cheesy."

"Hey, it's true," Cam smiled. "I missed you like crazy. I never dated. Not once."

"Well, that's good to know," Claire sighed softly.

"So, what about you?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you date anyone?"

The blonde grinned. "Oh, just this super hot exchange student named Jave. He started out as my salsa teacher and, let's just say that things got a little hot out on the dance floor."

Cam's frown disappeared when he realized she was kidding.

**[ ]**

"There you two are," Massie said with a pointed smirk as they descended the staircase fully clothed. "We decided to move on to the living room so we could open gifts."

And this was true; Cam and Claire could hear the rest of the group buzzing with chatter and laughs through the archway into the next room. "Oh," Claire said. "Started without us, have you?"

"Not quite, though we were going to if you didn't hurry up," admitted Massie while leading them into room.

The atmosphere in the air was mostly a positive one. The boys were sitting close together on one side of the room and chatting in loud voices. Alicia, on the other hand, was trying to make conversation between Dylan and Kristen, both who seemed to having a competition on who could ignore the other the longest.

At the sight of them, Derrick stood from his perch at his armchair. "Cammie! Good morning!" He proceeded to give Cam this knowing look that was complete with its own matching grin. "Have a good Christmas eve?"

Cam shifted his weight awkwardly while Plovert snickered into his glass of eggnog. "Uh, yeah."

"Mhm," Derrick's smile was almost devilish. He patted the couch next to him, at the open seat next to Kristen. "Come have a seat."

Giving Claire's forearm a gentle squeeze, Cam crossed to the other side of the room. Almost immediately after he had left Massie spun Claire around. "Details. I want them."

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh don't play dumb blonde with me," The brunette spoke softly so she could hardly be heard over everyone else. "I know what you two did last night. How else do you think I figured out I needed a different place to sleep? Anyway, I want the dirty details."

"Oh shit," Claire said. "I'm sorry. I forgot all about you. Where'd you end up going?"

"Well, after I went up to my bedroom, expecting a little relaxation after the events of yesterday but instead getting the urge to gouge my eyes out," Massie recalled, causing Claire to look guilty. "I went to Kristen's room for the night. Dylan had enough sense to stay in Alicia's room so she had some space."

Claire hid her face in her hands. "Oh my god. I'm so embarrassed."

"Oh please," Massie said. "There's no need. I mean, sure it was nasty to see all that even in the dark, but it's not like it's nothing I haven't done myself. Though, please don't take offense to me sleeping in Kris' room for the rest of the week. I'm not going near the bed ever again."

"Does everyone else know?" Claire asked hesitantly.

"What do you think?" Massie asked. "It's not like it was that hard to figure out. Cam didn't show up to his room with Derrick last night, and you know how he can't keep things to himself."

Noticing that her friend's temperament seemed to darken more than normal at the mention of her ex, Claire's brows creased. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just peachy." Massie picked up a glass of eggnog from the table next to them. "Do you think it's too early to spike this with gin?"

"Alright!" Chris stood, cutting the pair's conversation short. "So I know that this week hasn't really been the smoothest in the world-"

Kristen pointedly looked everywhere else but at Dylan during this statement.

"-but I really hope that we can all put aside the bullshit for one day. It's Christmas, guys. So shut the hell up, and let's open some gifts."

**[ ]**

Night was settling over the mountain town, and inside the Rivera cabin the festivities were settling down. In the living room, after all of the wrapping paper was cleared up, _It's A Wonderful Life_ was playing on the TV. Cam and Claire were cuddled in one corner of the couch, with Chris in the other and Kemp not too far away. Alicia and Dylan were on the floor while Kristen sulked in the armchair.

Derrick surveyed the scene from the doorway with a smile. He normally wasn't one to be sentimental, but having spent this Christmas with his friends was a treasured thing. These past few months had been full of changes, and to be with the people he held close during the holidays meant a lot. But, one person was noticeably missing from the scene.

He turned and looked toward the stairs. Should he go and look for her? Maybe. Massie should be with them right now. Though just as he was about to bound up the stairs to look for her, something in the small window caught his eye.

Massie's figure on the porch was blurred through the frosted glass. She sat a lone out on the porch, seemly doing nothing but sitting there. Sighing, he crossed the entryway to the front door.

"Hey," Derrick said quietly, closing the front door behind him.

The only light came from the windows inside, but he could still see her form sitting on a wicker armchair, wrapped in a wool pea coat and blue scarf. Her curled brown hair cascaded down her shoulders from under a knitted beanie. But she didn't look up when he had spoken; her gaze didn't leave the snowy landscape before them. "Hey."

He took another step forward hesitantly. "Uh, I just wanted to check on you. I didn't see you inside."

She looked down at her hands in her lap, but didn't say anything.

"I figured something was up, because I remembered how you were such a big fan of classic movies," Derrick scratched his neck. He was sinking here, fast. Why hasn't she said anything to him?

"I guess I'm just not feeling it."

"What's wrong?" Brow creased in concern, Derrick stepped forward, closer to her.

Massie's gaze remained trained on her lap as she let out a shaky breath. "Why didn't you tell me about Sam?"

Derrick froze. "I, uh-"

She stood suddenly, eyes set hard. "Yeah, Sam, the girl you left me for. Who you also met four months ago. And then you didn't even tell me."

Hands raised, Derrick took another step closer. "Massie, I didn't want to say anything because it doesn't matter. _She_ doesn't matter."

"She doesn't matter?" Massie bit her tongue to hold back a laugh. "Oh really, Derrick. Tell me then, if she didn't matter, then why did you do it in the first place? Why did you call me up in my dorm one night to tell me that it was over, that we were done? Do you know how long I spent trying to figure out why the hell you did that anyway? I thought something was wrong with me! I thought that-" She stops, shakes her head, chest heaving hard. "I don't even know why I'm telling you this. You aren't even worth it."

She makes a move to pass him, but he blocks her path. He had to make her see. "Massie," Derrick says earnestly. "Just hear me out." He could tell that she could have pushed past his arm if she wanted, but that fact that she wasn't gave him a little hope. "I didn't tell you about her because she honestly didn't matter. It was a stupid mistake that I've been wishing to take back since I've done it. She was _nothing_ compared to you. Don't ever think that something is wrong with you, when the fault is all mine."

Massie looked at him with a cold stare. Their faces inches apart, she could see the small details of gold in his chocolate eyes, which didn't seem to be leaving hers. "So what is it that you want now?" Her voice was calm and controlled, but the anger was still there. "Do you want me to just forget all about it and jump into your arms? Because that's not going to happen. But congratulations on ruining a four year relationship just to satisfy some sick urge, or whatever it was."

"Hey," Derrick said, blocking her path again. "It wasn't like that."

"Oh yeah? So then you weren't with her so you could get some action from someone who was close enough to get to your place in five minutes?" Sarcasm. Derrick knew it too well as a trademark of hers.

"I'll have you know that it never went that far. Ever."

Silence. Massie looked down at the porch. "Can you let go of my arm? I'd like to go inside now."

Derrick released his grip, and she passed by him quickly, leaving behind hints of her perfume and the sound of a slamming door.

* * *

**title from **say when **by **the fray.

**review? it would be so great. great... like apple pie :D**

**let's pretend that made sense... **


	25. The Weary Kind

**i'm only planning on maybe five or so more chapters, depending on how i plan it all out.  
and actually, i'm kind of proud that i'm this far into this story. i mean, it only took me two years (probably three, if you count this story when i had it uploaded before).**

**anyway.**

**THANK YOU BASKETS TO: **flowerspot, DancingintheRayne, iheartme104, josie, I LOVE NEW YORK, drowning in technicolor dreams, The-Passionate-Sun, miss spunk484, and ericka!

(**oh, and on behalf of _come out of the shade_, i'm not sure when that'll be updated. it's kind of on a hiatus right now...)**

**

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**

Chapter Twenty-Five: _The Weary Kind_

_One week later_

Claire jumped, a handful of confetti flying in her face from a popper Todd held. Her little brother cracked a smile at her reaction, satisfied that he had succeeded in frightening her.

"Todd!" Was all the older sibling managed to get out, swatting him away.

"Todd," Judi Lyons chimed in warning. She looked up from her champagne flute and conversation with brows raised. "Leave your sister alone."

Todd smirked, giving his sister a wicked grin. "Yes mother."

On Claire's right, Massie scoffed. "Obviously his maturity level hasn't changed since Thanksgiving. Honestly, I'm kind of doubting he'll ever change."

Claire smiled, staring her bother down. "Oh, I'm with you on that."

It was a week after the events in Aspen, and Claire and Massie's parents had made good in their promise to have a family Christmas. The second Claire called to tell them they had landed in JFK Judi had prattled on about how their tree was still up and since their winter break still had a week to go it would be the perfect time to do it. Massie had sighed, looking like she wanted to kill her mother, but it wasn't like either of them had a choice. So they were forced to endure more Christmas cookies and cheesy movies and carols, despite the fact that everyone in the house was over the 'I-Still-Believe-In-Santa-Claus' age.

But sometimes, when Massie was alone, she'd find herself watching her family with a smile. Yeah, so they were crazy and a little over enthusiastic (hello, Judi Lyons), but she wouldn't trade them in for anything. Hell, she sometimes wished that she had skipped the crazy Aspen trip and came over here like she was supposed to. She could have survived without all that drama.

"Got any New Year's resolutions?" Claire asked her. On the TV, the celebrations in Times Square were in full swing with only twenty minutes to go.

"No, not really," Massie took a sip from her flute full of sparkling cider ("No Massie, you are not of the legal age and I don't really find it necessary that you have to have alcohol tonight.").

"Hmm," Claire said, looking at her friend. "I was half expecting a sarcastic remark to answer that."

"Yeah well," Massie said. "I had expectations too."

Claire went quiet, as she always did whenever Massie made a remark that even suggested Derrick. She never really quite knew what to say to them. The ridiculous hopeless romantic in her wanted to convince her to forgive him for everything and make up, but the realist in her knew that wasn't so likely to happen anytime soon. If there was one thing she knew about Massie was that the girl had some issues with confidence, pride, and trust.

And Derrick just so happened to break her trust, stomp on her pride, and shatter her confidence.

**[ ]**

New Year's Eve in Hanover, New Hampshire, found almost all of its college kids in a pub down in the university district. The Squeaky Door was nearly packed to the door, and for sure going over its maximum capacity. The volume level in the joint was off the charts, and people standing right next to each other found that they had to yell just to be heard by the person next to them.

Dylan dodged a slosh of beer from a careless drunk's glass and fought her way to an open table in the corner. Due to recent events, her original plan for New Years consisted of Ben & Jerrys with some Lifetime original movies thrown into the mix. But somehow, she just couldn't do it, and she found herself gravitating toward the music and laughter. There was no need to sulk alone, right?

Also, this pub wasn't exactly a contender for places she could run into Josh, which was a definite plus. He'd been texting and calling her ever since they'd returned, but Dylan just couldn't face him. Kristen's harsh words were hard to ignore.

So as long as he doesn't come busting through the door, then she's in for a good time.

Loud laughter from the booth across the room drew her attention. _Ugh_. Rachel Wiles and her ignorant posse of sorority wannabes cackled at some joke a blonde one made. Dylan had never really been fully forgiven from their confrontation earlier in the semester. Though Dylan wasn't really affected by it, now she was really feeling the burn of having no girlfriends within the state. Maybe only relying on her friendships with two boys whom drama normally follows wasn't such a smart idea.

As Dylan looked around the bar, she spotted one of the sources of her problems. _Great_.

Though she was somewhat pleased to see that he looked a little uncomfortable in these surroundings, she knew that if he spotted her he would with no doubt attempt to strike up a conversation. One that would involve a plea to forget about Kristen and everything she said.

Yeah, not going to happen anytime soon.

Grabbing the drink menu resting on the table, Dylan propped it up so it covered most of her face from his view. But it was no use; as Josh circled to find somewhere to sit, he spotted her head of flaming, glossy red hair. "Dylan!" He said, barely audible over the chatter and music.

Dylan gave out an annoyed sigh and placed the menu down. Josh forced his way over, filling the chair across from her.

"Why haven't you been calling me back?" He first asks, a concerned expression on his face.

"Look Josh," Dylan started to say, finding it difficult to make eye contact with him. "We shouldn't have even started this up in the first place. It's wrong-"

"Oh, don't tell me your ending this because of Kristen," He looked angry, his eyes set harshly.

"She's my friend, Josh!" Dylan protested, now thankful for the noise level in this place. _Was my friend, anyway_, she mentally corrected herself.

"So? Would you really let her stop you from doing something that makes you happy- seeing someone that makes you happy?" Josh paused, biting his tongue as if holding back something else.

"Josh," She switched up her tactic and tried pleading. "Just please leave me alone, okay? I'm sorry."

Dylan shook off his hand when he tried to stop her from getting up and disappearing through the thick crowd. She stepped onto the street outside with a sob.

Sometimes, she really wished she'd done things differently.

**[ ]**

On New Year's Day, the Yale campus was almost completely deserted. The majority of its students were still off visiting family, or else finding something better to do than wander around school. Unfortunately, Kristen was not one of them. She knew of no places off of campus that were worth checking out, and she lacked the drive to go find them. So she was going to the one place she knew held some kind of comfort to her- the library.

Climbing the stairs, she zipped her coat up further to protect herself from the cold. The meteorologists were calling for more snow in the next couple days, and so the temperature was dropping considerably. _Just another thing to get me down_, she thought bitterly.

In fact, Kristen was so deep in self-pity that she almost didn't notice she was about to run into a fellow loner exiting the great gothic building. "Oh," She said in surprise, looking up from the ground. "I'm sorry- Derrick! Hey!"

Derrick offered up a weak smile, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his wool military jacket. "Hey Kris. Where you off to?"

"Well, it was the library," She said, giving him a quick once-over. He didn't exactly look his greatest; there were visible bags under his tired looking chocolate eyes, and his normally cocky stature had a kind of slump to it today. His hair also lay half-hazardly on his head, but that could've been from the wind. "What were you doing in there?"

He gave a shrug. "Just trying to find something to do to pass the day." Sighing, Derrick looked off behind her for a split second. "You want to go grab a cup of coffee or something?"

"Uh, yeah, actually," Kristen gave him a smile. "It would save me from curling up in an armchair and reading an encyclopedia or something."

Derrick shook his head with a smile, and descended the stairs with her. "So, how've you been holding up?"

"Funny, I was about to ask you the same thing," Derrick's smile dimmed a little as he hid his mouth into the tall collar of his coat. Kristen sighed. "No, but honestly not too well. I mean, yeah it kind of sucks, but as much I want to I can't hold onto it forever."

"Are you going to forgive her?"

"Honestly, I don't see that happening anytime in the foreseeable future," She gave a small laugh. "I gotta have some time to lick my wounds. Is Massie talking to you yet?"

"No," He said, his eyes still trained to the ground beneath them. "But that's not really any different from before."

Kristen winced. "I'm sorry I told her about Sam."

"No, don't be. I mean, I should've done that in the first place, but I don't think it would've mattered who she heard it from."

"Sorry for asking," Kristen was wary about prying too much. "But do you even want her back? I mean, the last time we talked to did, but…"

"Yeah, I don't- I don't really know," Derrick said candidly. "She obviously doesn't want anything to do with me whatsoever."

"Oh, don't be so sure about that. I don't know it for sure, but I'd say her pride is just-" Kristen felt her phones vibrations on her thigh. "Ugh, hold on," She said to Derrick, stopping briefly to retrieve it. "Hello?"

"I certainly hope you're happy."

Kristen's eyes narrowed. Maybe she should've checked the caller ID before she answered. "Josh, I can assure you that I'm just peachy." She ignored Derrick watching her carefully.

"Dylan won't even talk to me, let alone stay in m vicinity," Josh sounded pissed, but Kristen was unfazed.

"And this is my problem because…?"

"Because it was you who bitched her out and made her feel guilty!"

Kristen's mouth dropped at his audacity. "Oh, and I suppose she shouldn't have felt guilty at all, huh? My bad. After all, all she did was betray me."

Josh scoffed. "Oh get over yourself. All the things you said to her were out of line and uncalled for."

"You know what, asshole?" Kristen tried to ignore Derrick's wince as several students around them turned to stare. "Your opinion on that matter really isn't that important. Nor is it really any of your business. But I'm sorry I'm keeping you from getting laid, okay? Is that what you want to hear?"

"You still don't get it, do you?" His voice was still sharp, full of anger. "You ruined a friendship over your pride and petty issues!"

Kristen glowered, positively fuming now. "I don't know where you got the idea to call me up and attempt to give me a lecture on a topic you know nothing about. So screw you, prick." And with that, Kristen hung up on him.

She didn't have much time to bask in her anger before she remembered that Derrick was still standing there. "What?" She hissed, noticing the look he was giving her.

"Nothing," Derrick said, casually. "It's just that you normally never swear like that."

She stuffed her phone forcefully back into her bag in an attempt to channel her rage. "I've never really had a reason to."

**[ ]**

"One decaf latté with whip." The barista announced, placing said drink on the pick up table.

Kemp reached for his drink, wincing slightly at his contact with the heat. Classes started up today, and he needed all the energy he could get.

Turing to leave, he was surprised to see Dylan sulking at a table near the door. Kemp was positive she wasn't there when he got there, but why did he care. He was about to stride pass her and leave, but her somber expression stopped him.

Maybe it was his conscience or normally bright manner, but he really didn't like to see her (or anyone, really) looking _that_ depressed. So with a sigh, he changed course and sat down across from her. "Hey."

"God," She groaned, rolling her eyes. "What is it with you two?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," He said with a smile, taking a sip of his drink. And there was some truth to that, anyway- he really didn't know what she was talking about.

Dylan opened her mouth and looked like she was going to explain, but then stopped herself. Her emerald eyes were set in a hard gaze as she stared him down. "Have you come over here to gloat?"

"Goat? Whatever are you referring to?" Kemp grinned.

"Well, thanks to your decision to open your big, fat, jealous mouth last week, Kristen won't even talk to me."

"It's funny how you think that this is all my fault," Smile vanished, Kemp grew serious. "And jealous? Please, Dylan. This isn't the eighth grade. And you did the crime. I'm sorry I just wouldn't be an accomplish."

It seemed like she got what he way saying. Dylan closed her mouth, at a loss for words.

"Well, I really just came over here to see if you were okay," Kemp stood up. "But since you obviously don't want any company, I guess I'll see you around."

He made it two steps away before he heard to croak out, "Wait, Kemp." He turned with a brow raised, not expecting to see her look so desperate.

"Can you help me fix this?" She asked.

"Honestly, Dylan," Kemp said, looking her in the eyes. "I think that's something you have to do on your own."

* * *

**chapter title from **_the weary kind _**by **ryan bingham.

**and i think that's all i need to credit... **


	26. Sink Or Swim

**THANK YOU KINDLY: **gallaghergrl, Amazingxlivexlovexlaughx3, Wishing For Right Now, beyond this illusion, The-Passionate-Sun, I LOVE NEW YORK, DancingintheRayne, and ericka.

**now enjoy. please. (:

* * *

**

Chapter Twenty-Six: _Sink Or Swim_

It was late morning in New York City. From her small kitchen window, Alicia had a decent view of the busy street below her apartment building. People hurried this way and that, ready and willing to make the day ahead productive and magnificent. And that was something she envied about them. Were it up to her, she would have gladly crawled back into bed and slept until tomorrow. Her mother had called a few nights ago, with an offer to get together for dinner at Alicia's 'new place' and catch up. Stupidly, she had agreed. And standing now with a half a pound of red potatoes to peel, she halfway wished that small window was able to open so she could throw herself out of it.

"Hey Alicia," Chris greeted, making her aware of his presence in her apartment. They had both reached the understanding that the free roaming of the two apartments between them was unavoidable.

"Oh hey Chris," She greeted without looking up from the potatoes.

She heard his steps pause in the doorway. "Are you cooking?" He sounded surprised, though his voice was laced with a hint of mockery.

"Yes, because believe it or not I _am_ capable of doing something this domestic."

"What for?"

Alicia gave out a sigh, tucking a stray strand of her raven hair behind an ear. "Because, Chris, my parents insisted on coming over tonight for dinner. Normally, I'd order food from somewhere and pretend like I made it, but as what's now the usual I'm tight on money. And this is my opportunity to show them that I'm doing just fine on my own. Even though, I'm actually kind of not."

Chris didn't say anything to this, and Alicia was partially thankful for it. She didn't need pity from anyone right now. She had to remain strong so she could just get this stupid night over with.

"Do you, uh," Alicia heard Chris step up behind her. "Do you want help?"

Turning to flash him a small smile over her shoulder, Alicia took in the nearly puppy dog-like expression of her dear friend. "Yeah, that would be great, actually. There's a head of lettuce in the sink you can wash."

Wordlessly, Chris stepped up to the sink. They worked side by side in silence, preparing for the meal and untimely lecturing and criticism that Alicia knew was coming.

But at least she wasn't really in this alone.

**[ ]**

Claire climbed the stairs to the Gilbert dorm building with a contented sigh. Life was great. Well, her life anyway. She had an amazing boyfriend, amazing friends, and just so happened to be going to one of the best schools in the country located in the heart of New York City. _Sometimes_, She thought to herself, now making her way down the third floor hallway to Massie's room. _I just can't believe this is my life._ It was one of those times where she felt like pinching herself.

Giving the dark wood-stained door a quick rap or two with her knuckles, Claire tried to wipe the goofy smile off her face. Unlike her, her best friend Massie hasn't really been doing so well lately, and Claire didn't want to make matters worse. "Massie?" She called into the door. "It's Claire."

"You don't have to knock, stupid. Just come in."

Pushing the door open, Claire was greeted with the sight of Massie sitting cross-legged on her bed, with her MacBook Air open in her lap. The brunette looked up when Claire entered, flashing a dazzling smile. "'Morning, Clare."

"'Morning," Claire said back, taking off her coat and setting down the coffee she brought slowly. She was a little stunned at the bright attitude that was being displayed, seeing as she expected something entirely different.

"Is that coffee?" Massie asked, spotting the bag and cups the blonde clutched. "Hand it over!" She outstretched an arm, and Claire got a good look at her recent manicure.

Obliging, Claire eyed her carefully. "What's, uh, what's your deal?"

"What do you mean?" Massie looked at her, taking a long sip of her Chai Tea latté. "Oh man, that's good..."

"I mean two days ago you were acting like there had been piss in your Cheerios every morning. You were semi-depressed and rarely smiled. And now you're suddenly walking on sunshine. It's a little..." Claire stopped. She didn't want to offend her friend.

Massie sighed, reaching over to set her cup on her bedside table. "I've just simply realized that I can't just cry over Derrick for the rest of my life. It's over, like _really_ over this time, and I need to move on. So, I did what most girls do in times of heartache," She spun her laptop around, showing Claire what was open.

"I don't get it," Claire said. She was staring at the homepage of Block Enterprises, William's company.

"I'm going to apply for an internship!" Massie said with excitement. "I mean, I pretty much already have the job, seeing as my dad owns it and I've known most of the board members since I was eight."

"But, since when were you into business?" Claire was still confused. "I though you wanted to get a job at a fashion magazine or at a designer's house or something that doesn't involve sitting in an office."

"I do," Massie said. "But this could give me so much more opportunities. I can see how a successful enterprise is really run, and use that to my advantage. Do you realize how many doors this could open for me? Hell, if I do well enough I could probably take over for dad someday, or even start a company of my own."

Claire eyed her friend as she talked. She seemed to be really excited about this whole idea that was conceived. Though, Claire was happy for her friend. She's finally moving on with her life and finding her own happiness. "That's great Mass," Claire said, offering up a smile.

Massie just grinned back, turning her computer back around.

From her coat pocket, Claire heard her phone chime with the notice of a new text message. She reached into its depths and retrieved her new HTC Evo, a Christmas gift from Massie.

**CAM: meet me outside your dorm? **

Ah, Cam.

"So you're all good here?" Claire asked, looking up from its display.

Massie's groomed brows crinkled. "Yeah, I'm fine. Where's the fire?"

"Cam's downstairs," Explained Claire, hurriedly throwing her coat and bag back on. "He wants to meet me."

"Ooh," Massie teased. "Have fun! But not too much fun- be smart and safe!"

In response, Claire slammed the door closed with a little more force then was needed.

**[ ]**

Cam sighed in the cold, his breath leaving him in a small cloud. With his hands deep in the pockets of his wool coat he bounced on the balls of his feet while waiting for Claire to come down. Damn, it was freezing.

A few moments later, he could spot her tangle of blonde hair bouncing as she strode to the door. She opened it with a smile, cheeks already growing pink from the low temperature.

"Hey," She said, descending the stairs and promptly throwing her arms around him. "I though I wasn't going to see you until later tonight."

He planted a swift kiss on the top of her head, breathing in the flowery scent of her shampoo. "I know, but I got done with my essay earlier than I thought. Why? Do you not want to see me?" He grinned at her.

Claire gave a sarcastic scoff. "Of course I don't. Now I have to see your ugly mug longer."

Offering up a chuckle, Cam led them in a walk. His arm was still slung around her shoulders. "So I thought we could go into the city and grab some lunch. Sound good?"

"Sounds great," Claire leaned into his side, taking a sip from her coffee cup. "It really does." She looked down at the pavement below. "I think Massie's acting crazy again."

"Oh?"

"Well, first she told me that she's trying to move on from Derrick. Then she revealed that she's got this idea that she's going to start interning for her dad."

Cam snorted. "Massie Block working? What the hell is this, an episode of _Supernatural_?"

"What?" Claire's eyebrows crinkled at the reference.

"You've never seen it?" Looking down at her, Cam's blue and green eyes widened. "I'll have to watch it with you sometime. It's a great show, one of my favorites."

"Looking forward to it." Claire sighed. "But anyway, I can't tell if she's serious about it or just throwing herself into it just to get over Derrick."

"What if it's both?" Offered Cam. "I mean, now that I think about it I can see how it could work. She probably really wants to get over him, and it probably would help to busy herself with something to do; like working. And, I'm sure being an intern for William Block could establish some connections and really give you a leg up in business."

"True," The blonde gave out another sigh, trying to keep her booted feet from dragging. "But honestly, I'm really hoping she does get over Derrick. As perfect as they were together, I think after this point they might as well just end all of this unnecessary drama that's still going on."

"Derrick's not going to like that," Cam admitted. "He's still very much in love with her."

"Well you know Massie, once she's made up her mind about something the only one who can change it is her."

**[ ]**

The dinner table was eerily quiet.

Her parents had arrived right on schedule, looking pretty out of place standing in the doorway of Alicia's shabby mid-town apartment. Nadia Rivera, sporting a long trench coat and diamond earrings, managed to tear her eyes away from the scuffed wood floors to give her daughter a smile. But Len Rivera barely looked up from the screen of his Blackberry.

And now the three of them were sat around the dining table (purchased from Ikea, but her parents were never to find that out), the only sound being heard was the clinking of their silverware. Alicia alternated her gaze from her father to the clock on the wall, willing the time to go by faster. Len looked at down at his plate, and Nadia just looked back and forth between the other two. At this stage in the dinner, Alicia was tempted to fake stomach cramps and end the lovely evening early.

"So, honey," Nadia said. "What have you been up to lately?"

_I guess inducing vomiting will have to wait_. "Uh not a whole lot," Alicia said.

"Have you considered going back to school?" Taking a risk, her mother brought up the elephant in the room.

Across from her, Alicia's father paused mid chew.

"Yes, but not at any university," Alicia noticed with partial amusement that her mother's face visibly paled. "I thought I would start by taking some classes at the Metropolitan College for a while. You know, find out what it is that I'm really interested in before I take the leap back to a bigger school."

There was a lengthy pause after her reveal.

"Also," Added Alicia. "I was thinking of taking dancing lessons again."

Another pause.

"Do you have a job?" Ignoring Alicia's last comment, her mother made an attempt to at least sound interested in this subject.

"Yeah, I'm just waitressing at this café a few blocks over," Alicia's fake smile faltered when she noticed her mother's gaze cast downward. Obviously, waitressing was not their job-of-choice for their only child.

"Are you, uh, financially stable?" Her mother asked next, obviously convinced that a waitresses' pay wasn't satisfactory.

Alicia lowered the forkful of roast potatoes she had raised to her mouth and sighed irritably. "I'm getting along fine."

"Are you sure?" The elder woman pressured. "Because if you need any help with the rent, don't be embarrassed to-"

"Mom," Alicia cut her off. "I don't need any help with-"

"Yes, Nadia," Len suddenly piped up, making his first verbal appearance of the evening. His mouth was set in a firm line, looking very cross. "She doesn't need it. Besides, I don't see why we have to give our hard earned money to a child who doesn't appreciate it's value, what with us paying for a full semester at an Ivy League school and then going right ahead and flushing it down the toilet."

"Len!" Nadia said, in shock at his outburst.

Recovering from her initial shock and hurt from her father's comments, Alicia fumed. So he finally said how he really felt. "I think I've told you a million times that I'm sorry for getting expelled. But you know what? I might as well say it again just incase the message still hasn't sunk in. I'm _sorry_. I'm sorry I can't survive a college that'll teach me to become like you, okay? And incase you haven't figured this out either; I'm not going back. To there or any other college like it. I guess you're just going to have to deal with that disappointment you have a little while longer."

Len wiped his face off with his napkin, and Alicia could see his jugular vein throbbing. If she were still thirteen, she would've hit the deck. "You're right, I'm very disappointed. I'm disappointed that my daughter chose to ruin her life. And you know what the worst part is? You don't even care! You're living in this dump and taking classes at a _community college_! I suppose you think this is some kind of game, don't you? Playing a little house, huh?"

"A game?" Alicia ignored her mother, who looked back and forth between her husband and child, mouth agape. "No, I don't think my life is a game. But you know what? I have a feeling that you do. Ever since I was little you've had all these stupid aspirations for me, most of which you didn't even care to see how I felt about. You wanted me to become a lawyer like you, you wanted me to stop with the silly dancing, you wanted me to jump through a god dammed flaming hoop- Like I'm some kind of animal you can train to be however you'd like me to be. So, sorry dad, but I don't want to be a lawyer. I don't want to go to some fancy ass school and, god forbid, turn up just like you."

There was silence after Alicia's outburst, and it took her a while to realize she was now standing. Len looked at her with fiery eyes, but didn't say anything more. He looked like he wanted to, but he bit it back. Nadia, on the other hand, held her hand over her heart as her eyes welded up with tears.

Len cleared his throat, turning to his wife. "I think it's time for us to leave." His vocals were ice cold.

"But-" Nadia sputtered, watching as he stood up and left the table. She turned towards Alicia, who's own eyes were trained hard on the back of her father.

"Nadia!" Len called, gathering his and her jacket from the hall closet.

Hesitantly, Nadia stood. She took three shaky steps forward before turning around again, looking at her daughter with tear-filled eyes. Her mouth opened, but no words came out. Giving her head a harsh shake, Alicia's mother turned around and grabbed her coat, before following her husband out the door.

* * *

**that was intense.**

**and sorry about how long it's taking me to get these final chapters out.  
it's like running up a mountain. i'm on the final stretch, and (because i'm a terrible runner) i'm like on my hands and knees crawling.  
i'm moving, but inch by inch. **

**that has been my analogy for the day. i'm quite proud of it :D **

**chapter title from **sink or swim **by **tyrone wells.


	27. How Low

**finally, i know!**

**IF I COULD SING WELL, I'D MOST DEFINITELY SERENADE: **sophie, DancingintheRayne, stormyy, Josie, and another dream wasted on you.

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Seven: _How Low_

"You know, this show isn't half bad," Claire said, making her opinion vocal as the credits rolled on screen. She was stretched out in Cam's lap, the pair of them sprawled out on the floor in his dorm room. Together they had just finished watching the pilot episode of a show called _Supernatural, _which was a favorite of Cam's.

"I told you." Cam brought his arms around her from behind. "Didn't I tell you?"

"Yeah, but you never mentioned the lead guys were so _hot_," Claire twisted her head around to shoot him a grin. "Do you think I could borrow it and watch it later tonight?"

"Uh, no," Cam tapped her on the shoulders as a signal to get up off him. "And would you look at the time? You should go get some sleep. You have classes tomorrow."

Claire laughed, but let him rise to his feet. "Oh, come on, I was kidding." She stood ad brushed off her dark denim skinny jeans. "Though the whole gun wielding thing _is_ kind of sexy."

Cam, who had been removing the disk from his DVD player, turned and shot her an expression of mock hurt. "A friend of my dad's owns a shooting range."

Laughing still, Claire enveloped him in a hug from behind. "Okay, Jack Bauer. I'll call you tomorrow for lunch." She stood on her toes, planted a kiss on the back of his neck and turned for the door. Just as she extended an arm for the doorknob, however, her gaze hit his desk and she stopped cold. "Uh, Cam?"

"Yeah?" He turned briefly while snapping the _Supernatural _disk back into its case. But then he stopped, blanching, noticing what's grasped in her hand. "Oh, uh that's…"

The green and blue transfer packet's laminated surface shone in the lighting as she held it up. "Transfer forms?" Claire searched Cam's face for answers.

"Those were from a while ago," Cam strode over to where she was standing and gently took them from her. "I has considered it a while back. But I'm not anymore."

"Oh," Claire said, her gaze still transfixed on that thick packet of forms that he know held.

"Yeah," Giving it and all the papers inside a toss in the general direction of his bed, he flashed her a reassuring grin. "You're not going to get rid of me again that easily."

Frowning slightly, Claire was still as Cam hugged her and bestowed her with a swift kiss on her lightly glossed lips.

"So I'll talk to you tomorrow?" Cam asked with a hopeful smile. He seemed oblivious to her stoic behavior.

"Yeah," Claire offered up a weak smile of her own before stepping past him and opening the door. "I'll talk to you then."

**[ ]**

Yawning, Kemp followed the herd of his classmates piling out the door. That had to be what was probably the worst hour and a half of his entire life. First, he realized that he didn't get all of the homework done and had to turn it in partially completed. Then the professor kept on calling on him to answer questions he obviously didn't know the answer to, again and again. Not to mention, the root cause of those things was his lack of sleep- Kemp was so tired he could barely see straight.

Lately, over the past two weeks, he had come up with a habit of wandering back into his dorm room and around midnight when he knew that Josh would already be asleep. And then, to further avoid looking at or even speaking to him, Kemp would shower, change, collect this things and be out of there by five thirty. And it was ridiculous how exhausted one could get just by avoiding a person.

Stumbling through the crowd of people he mumbled hardly audible apologies to everyone he managed to run into. He needed a nap, pronto. Kemp quickly racked his brain for a place to sleep (that _wasn't_ his dorm room that he shared with his asshole of a roommate), and came to the conclusion that his best bet for minimal back problems and maximum possible sleep was a comfy armchair in the library. Kemp altered his course immediately.

As he stepped out he blinked rapidly in the sunlight, eyes obviously not yet adjusted. And though the massive star was currently out and about in the sky, it did nothing to help the sub zero temperatures threatening to cause his ears to fall off.

It was just shaping up to be another terrible morning in the chain of crap days that was currently Kemp's life.

Blowing out a breath of steam, Kemp adjusted the strap of his backpack. He was so busy mentally cursing his life he wasn't exactly paying much attention to his current flight path. As most would predict, he collided into the backpack of an unsuspecting passerby. Books and papers fell to the pavement with a flutter.

"Oh shit," Kemp cursed, dropping to his knees to assist her in picking the mess up. "I'm really sorry." He looked at her, only noticing her head of brilliant blonde hair. "I wasn't really watching where I was going."

"I'll say," Looking up to flash him an annoyed smile, he noticed that she had a pair of brilliant, big brown eyes.

He extended out an arm full of notebooks. "Here you go."

"Thanks," But she stopped midway through stuffing them back into her backpacks depths. "Fantastic. There's a hole in my bag now." As if to prove it she pointed out the large tear in the bag's seam.

"I'm really sorry." Kemp repeated, cringing at the sight.

Though she sighed irritably, she managed to smile. "It's alright, I guess."

Kemp watched her fumble with the useless backpack, and suddenly a stroke of confidence struck. "Hey, can I have your number?"

His words sparked a brief pause. Then she smirked, and looked up at him. "Sure, why not? You'll need to know how you can get the replacement to me, anyways."

**[ ]**

"I've brought another round," Chris called out, the door slamming closed behind him to announce his return. He stepped into Alicia's living room with a couple plastic bags dangling off his forearms. "I think I cleared the entire store out of pistachio and cookie dough ice cream. Though since I got some weird looks at the cashier and I had to make up an excuse. So if you're ever walking down the street with me and someone tries to rub your stomach, just go with it."

Alicia sighed, ignoring his obvious attempt at a joke to cheer her up. She set the empty pint of Ben and Jerry's down on the rickety coffee table before her. "Don't think it's needed. I feel stuffed. Not really any better, but I can't eat another bite of ice cream."

"Not even with Magic Shell?" Chris held up a small brown bottle of the favored topping.

"Tempting, but I'll pass," Alicia stood up from her couch perch. The blankets that had been previously piled there slid from her lap to the floor. "I should probably start getting ready for tomorrow's classes."

"So you're still going through with it? Community college?" Speaking as he walked into the kitchen, he didn't get to see her face fall farther than it already had.

"Yeah. I'm not going to stop going after what I want just because my dad's a total dick." She heard Chris open the freezer to stash the ice cream as she folded up the blankets. "And besides; the best way to stick it to him is to keep doing what I want and to show him how wrong he actually is. And with this situation, I have the opportunity to do both."

Chris poked his head into the doorway, causing his brown hair to fall just above his eyes. Alicia couldn't help but grin at the sight. He looked just as he did back in seventh grade. "And you're still going to dance, right?"

"Yup," Alicia scooped up their chocolate sauce stained bowels and joined him in the kitchen. "Though I'm nervous about it. It's been so long."

"I'm sure you'll be fine." Chris said assuringly.

"Well, I probably had a good chance _before_ consuming all of that ice cream," Alicia smiled up at him.

"Hey," Chris said. "No regrets."

**[ ]**

Massie really needed a new blazer.

She currently owned three; a plan black one that she normally paired over floral dresses and the like, a sleet gray one that was purchased for her college interview, and this ridiculous pin-striped one that seemed like a good buy at the time but still had the price tags on. None of them were suitable. She needed a new one, one that would not only match with her pale, cherry blossom pink blouse but one that also said that she could be successful in a business environment. Tapping a manicured nail against her set lips, she stared into the colorful depths of her closet, willing a new one to bloom on a hangar instantly.

But of course, no such luck. Letting out a sigh, the brunette flung herself backwards on her bed. She had been trying to exert most of her energy into this internship and her future career, and though it had been working lately Massie had been feeling herself slow down. She needed to get excited about it again; to get so caught up with it nothing else will enter her mind.

Growing more distressed, Massie almost didn't notice her phone light up and dance across her pine bedside table. Though the display screen was crooked she had no problem spotting Dylan's unmistakable red mane from the contact picture. _Thank god_. Massie rolled over and scooped up the battered iPhone. "Hey Dyl, what's up?"

Her sigh comes through the phone as static. "My life's still shit, if that's what you mean. Just wanted to talk to someone. I feel antisocial, I haven't had much face to face conversations in days."

"I'd say sorry, but you know you did bring this upon yourself," Massie absentmindedly twirled a strand of dark hair as she spoke. Yeah, she felt bad for her friend, but if she was just calling for some sympathy she's going to have to get it somewhere else.

"Yeah, I know that, but Kristen won't answer my calls, respond to my messages… it's driving me nuts! How am I supposed to fix things when she won't even talk to me?"

"Maybe she needs more time," Massie guessed. "Are you still seeing Josh?"

"No, I've been avoiding him too. I guess I'm paranoid that she could somehow see if we've been hanging out or not. My friendship with Kris is important to me, yeah, but Josh also makes me happy. Am I supposed to just give him up? I mean, aren't I allowed to be selfish once in a while?"

Massie offered up a small smile she knew her friend couldn't even see. "I'm not sure I'm the one who can answer that. It's a thing I guess only you can figure out."

"I've realized that, but it's actually been really hard. Do you think you could, I don't know, talk to her for me? At least get her to let me talk to her?"

"I don't know…" Massie trailed off. This was exactly what she didn't want- more drama in her life. But then, her friends needed to start talking again. Even though they were in different states it was weird having to watch what you say around them. "I suppose I could try to talk to her, but I make no promises. You know how Kristen can be."

"Oh, thank you Massie!" Dylan said, no doubt grinning from ear-to-ear somewhere in New Hampshire. "If you could do that for me, you don't know how badly I'd owe you."

"I know, I know," Massie couldn't help but smile herself. There was just something about helping people that she liked. Maybe she should do it more often.

"I should get some sleep," Dylan said. "Sorry to call you up just to whine, though. And thank you again for offering to do that for me. You truly are an amazing friend."

_An amazing friend_.

It was funny, after she had bid her goodbye, switched off the light, and climbed under her duvet, Massie didn't really feel like such an amazing person.

* * *

**title from **how low** by **jose gonzalez

**i was going to say something else but i'm afraid i have forgotten. whoopsie.  
reivew? **


	28. Love Vigilantes

**one more chapter and the epilogue to go!  
though i think i'll put them both up at the same time, so expect a final double update sometime within the next month. hopefully sooner.**

**MUFFIN BASKETS AND FLUFFY KITTIES TO: **sophie, HarryPotterandTwilightGirl257, beyondthisillusion, MassieLovesPurple17261, **and **FaithInMe.

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Eight: _Love Vigilantes_

"Alicia! Table five still needs their food!" Karen called from her perch at the cash register, sounding a little more than irritated. Alicia let out a huff of breath, beyond the point of being stressed out. What with school starting up, dance lessons, and the current dinner rush, she felt as if her tiny head would explode at any second. Grabbing the ready plates with hot pads, she turned and managed to raise them as Marissa rushed past her.

Lately in Alicia's life it seemed if it wasn't one thing getting her down, it was another. And to be honest she was quite sick of it. Doesn't a girl deserve some down time? Preferably just enough time to go down to a nail salon and get a discounted manicure?

Mustering up as much of a smile as she could manage, Alicia set down the steaming plates at the costumer's table. "Here you go, sir." The occupants of table five looked up from under the brims of their trucker hats, eyes glinting with lust.

"Thank you darlin'," The one on the right said. His grin was missing some teeth and kind of gross.

_Oh, god._ "It's no problem," Alicia squeaked, turning away from the table. She quickly took a place standing at Marissa's side, fidgeting under their continuous stares. "Why is it that we seem to get the only hillbilly truckers in New York?"

Marissa shrugged, looking up from the water pitcher she was busying herself with. "I don't know, but on the bright side they tip well."

**[ ]**

Derrick stood at the foot of his bed, looking down at the mess he had just created. Every inch of the rectangular surface was covered with graded papers, notebooks, binders, pencils, small wrappers… the entire contents of his backpack. He sighed, and began to organize the chaos into piles.

Zack spoke up from his bed, having been observing his disgruntled roommate. "Dude, you're a pig."

The blonder boy ignored him, stuffing a pile of papers into the recycling bin. He hasn't really had much patience for anyone as of late, especially his nerdy ass roommate.

Exhaling, Zack flipped the page of his AP Psychology textbook. "So, what's her name?"

Derrick looked up. "Excuse me?" He questioned harshly.

"Well, obviously, you are displaying the side effects and telltale signs of depression- you haven't been saying any of your normally stupid things lately, you're acting like more of a dick than usual, and not to mention I haven't seen you scarf down your nightly three Ho Hos and bag of cheddar Ruffles. Your personality change was so dramatic I don't exactly need this book to tell me something is wrong in the first place," Zach said simply. "But the cause is trickier to figure out. You don't seem like the type of person to go into this much of an emotional hole over falling out with a friend, so it can't be that. Furthermore you haven't recently left to attend a funeral, so unless you're a careless dick a family death can't be it either. But you did use to make all of these secret phone calls in low voices with this _ridiculous_ grin on your face that can only be caused by a girl. Though I've noticed that right around the time they stopped, this attitude started. Thus leading to my conclusion that a girl is the root cause."

There was pause then, in which Derrick blinked at this roommate with wide eyes. "Man, do you need to get laid."

Ignoring the comment, Zack carelessly flipped a page. "The question remaining, though, is whether or you're going to do something about it."

"Is there anything in that book mentioning annoying ass roommates and their inability to stay out of my life?"

Zack slammed the book down. "Alright, fine, I can take a hint-"

"More like a flashing neon sign."

"Obviously there must be some appeal to being a depressed dickwad, because you're not accepting my genuine interest in helping you and you haven't done anything about it yourself. So have fun in your self-created pit of despair. Don't expect me to throw you a ladder again anytime soon."

Derrick fiddled a small stack if papers and his roommate went back to his book. He hated to admit it, but he was slightly touched by the attempt that was just made. Maybe he was showing more of how much he was affected by everything than he thought he had been.

Deep from within the pockets of the wool coat slung over his desk chair, Derrick heard his phone chime with the notice of a new text message. Giving the paper stack a toss in the general direction of the recycle, he hastily dug into his coat for the welcomed distraction.

**CAM: so c found some transfer papers in my dorm room.  
DERRICK: trouble in paradise already?  
CAM: shut up.  
DERRICK: unfurl your panties. so what?  
CAM: that was my reaction too, but she hasn't said much to me since then.  
DERRICK: well pansy, go talk to her and fix it. problem solved. do you not understand how difficult you make your life?**

Derrick shook his head with a smile at the lack of response. Cam spent _way_ too much time worrying about things that honestly don't matter at all. And Claire was exactly the same way, now that he really thought about it. And sure the pair were great together, but it caused too many unnecessary issues.

And transfer papers? What? Derrick racked his brain for any mention of Cam's desire to switch colleges, but came up with nothing. When was he planning on leaving? He should've learned his lesson the first time- running away does not fix your problems. Moving states would not do anything to prove-

Derrick raised his head, releasing his grip on his backpack strap. He looked back and forth around his room, his mind feeling like it was processing at a 100 miles per hour. "I'll be back later." He mumbled to Zack, throwing his coat over his arm.

"Whatever," Zack barely looked up as the door slammed shut.

**[ ]**

Massie brushed the soft material draped over the hangers with her fingertips as she passed by them. Bergdorf Goodman was her new safe heaven. It was now official. She stood in between racks of Oscar de la Renta and Zac Posen, breathing in all of the scents and sights. It's been far too long since she's stepped into this modern Eden.

So far, she had gotten her hands on three new tunics, black skinny jeans, and a new pair of suede boots. A purple la Renta blouse was in her sights and nearly her grasp when another pair of arms shot out.

"Excuse me," The girl said lifting it off the rack. The tall, petite, dirty blonde girl flashed a stunned Massie a grin before turning around and stalking off.

"Whoa," Massie was quick to pursue. "I'm sorry, but I saw that first."

"No, I don't believe so," The girl said, crinkling her brows over her dark eyes.

"Actually, I'm pretty sure I was," Massie matched her displayed cocky grin. "In fact, you basically snatched it out of my hands."

"Go get another one."

"That was the last one."

"Oh, well," The girl looked unapologetic. "Sucks for you."

Massie scoffed, watching the girl retreat. On most normal instances, she would storm over there and snatch the gorgeous top out of the girl's hand with ease. In fact, she was about to, but something stopped her.

The girl had sauntered back over to her friend, who's flaming red hair whipped around her face as she turned at her friend's arrival. They admired the top together, their close friendship obvious to almost everyone around them just by how they were acting. And Massie watched them flip through racks with one another, watched them pull things and hold them up to each other with a saddened smile on her face.

That used to be just like two other girls she knew.

Suddenly, with a newfound determination, Massie's phone was out of her pocket and it's screen was lit up like the forth of July.

Someone was about to get an earful.

**[ ]**

There was a park bench on the edge of the Columbia campus that was spectacularly placed. Trees kept it out of the view of any passerby's, but those seated there could still have a great view of the towering city beyond.

There Claire sat at Cam's side, completely transfixed with the sight. Sure, she has been living in New York City for the past five months or so, but it still amazes her to think about the little girl from Orlando living in a place such as this. It's funny how life can turn out sometimes.

"So, I was thinking we could go to see a movie tomorrow," Cam says, his hands slipping deeper into the pockets of his jacket to hide from the bitter cold. "Maybe the new-" He stopped, looking over at his girlfriend and noticing her lack of attention to the conversation. "Claire, are you listening?"

Looking up at him from her trace, Claire finally spoke. "So you were thinking about transferring, but you aren't anymore?"

Cam sighed. He had thought that they were done talking about this the second it had been brought up. "Yes, Claire. That's right. I'm not going to transfer anywhere."

"But," Cam tried hard to hold in another, more irritated sigh, as she was obviously not done. "Why were you going to in the first place?"

"It doesn't matter." He spoke curtly, wanting nothing more than the whole conversation to end.

"Cam," Claire turned more fully in her seat to face him. "It does matter. Because if it's want you want-"

"It's not what I want!" In his outburst, he found himself on his feet. "I just- it was a last ditch effort to salvage what was left of any chance at happiness, okay?"

Claire looked up at him, confusion clouding her cerulean eyes. "Happiness? Wha-"

"I could not keep seeing you with _him_, Claire. I tried staying in my room and avoiding you, but I still thought about it. I thought about you being with him, kissing him, laughing with him, and it made me sick. Physically sick, even. So I tried to get away from it. I looked into architecture schools on the east coast and talked to a guidance councilor. The paperwork was sent to me two days before Aspen, but things changed and I forgot about them."

"So your plan was to run away? Again?" Claire rose to her feet as well, staring him down intently. "And you weren't even going to tell me about it, just up and leave?

"No, I wasn't running away," Cam said. He tried to keep his voice from rising in an attempt to avoid a further confrontation, but that only angered Claire more.

"Oh? It sure sounds like it," With a hip cocked, she crossed her slim arms over her chest.

Cam shook his head with an incredulous smile. "You know what Claire, I'm sorry I couldn't sit idly by and torture myself day in and day out. I'm sorry I wasn't willing to wait for you to snap your fingers and come running, okay? Jesus. Sometimes, Claire, you can be really selfish, did you know that?"

And for the second time in a month, Cam Fisher turns and leaves.

* * *

**chapter title from **love vigilantes **by **iron & wine.  
**it's quite a beautiful song. i highly recommend it.**


	29. Your Hand In Mine

**Wow. Here we are at the end. **

**THANK YOU FROM EVERY CORNER OF MY HEART: **DancingintheRayne, FaithInMe, 3, ixdookiie, sophie, 0[dot]o[dot]LooLoo09[dot]o[dot]0, fanfictionlover145, teri, ericka, Lovingu, **and **whenyousmile47.

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Nine: _Your Hand In Mine_

Dylan Marvil heard a quote once, when she was younger.

Back when he was still with her mother, Dylan's father liked to sit in the leather armchair in the corner of their den and watch reruns of an old TV show she never seemed to care for at the age of three. He would watch it for hours, it seemed, before scooping Dylan up in his arms and carrying her upstairs to tuck her in. One day her dad was sat in the chair focusing intently on the screen, as per usual. Dylan had clambered over toward him clutching her favorite Barbie and it's decapitated head, tears threatening to spill over her rosy cheeks. He simply smiled, scooped her up in his arms, and examined the broken toy before him.

And that's when Dylan heard it.

"_I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich"_

The meaning of this never really registered to her when her dad handed back a repaired doll to her the next morning. It never registered when she woke up another morning a few years later to find out he wasn't there anymore. And even during those quiet hours alone in her house or planning her escape to Dartmouth, she never really got it.

Until now.

On the screen before her, Dylan watched as her mother laughed and smiled at today's guest. This was the first time she has watched her mom on TV since middle school. And through her cringing she realized why.

This glamorized Stepford wife was not her mother. Nor was the cold and detached shell of a woman who she normally saw. Her mother had been sucked into this talk show she poured her heart into. It was more than her job or career; it was her life.

Dylan turned off the screen with disgust.

Beside her, her phone lay quiet. Though she could tell by the absence of a flashing light that she had no new messages, she turned it on and stared at her empty inbox. Her sisters hadn't spoken to her since they left for college a few years ago, and it's been almost two days since she texted them in an attempt to catch up.

She supposed this meant she was broke.

**[ ]**

"So, does this mean you're going to call up Dylan and tell her that you forgive her?" Massie said into her phone. It was another chilly day in January, and although she was dressed somewhat warmly (dark denim jeans with dark brown leather boots, cream long sleeved shirt, recently found black blazer and a tan hobo bag) the chill slapped against her skin like ice water. However, the only good thing to happen in Massie's day was occurring at this moment; she was just a few more words away from getting Kristen to cave and speak to Dylan again.

But her intellectual friend just wouldn't go down without a fight. "I don't know, Mass. Every time I go to call her I just remember what she did and I want to slap her all over again."

"Hey, believe me when I say Josh isn't worth this," Massie said, squinting her eyes as a gust of chilly wind blew by. "Not to bring offence to Dyl, but something is obviously wrong with him if he cheated on you. Let her have that flakey asshole and be the bigger person."

"So you're saying I should let the two people who betrayed me be happy while I continue to be miserable just so I can be the 'bigger person'?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Massie sighed. "Dylan's really making an effort to show you how sorry she is. Do you know she hasn't spoken to Josh in about a month?"

"I'm aware. Josh called me to bitch me out for it, actually."

"See?" Massie made an encouraging hand gesture she forgot her friend couldn't see. "He's a dick. Maybe Dylan's did you a favor."

Kristen huffed; Massie could hear her impatience. "You know what? I'll call her, just to get you to stop bashing them to make me feel better. It's actually making me feel guilty. Unless that was your endgame after all?"

"Use guilt to make you reconcile with your best friend? What on earth are you talking about?" Massie grinned to herself. "But I'm glad you agreed. Just try to make nice, okay?"

"Whatever you say. I'll talk to you later."

"See you," With a smile on her face, Massie slipped her phone back into her bag. A person's day can really brighten once they've set things right again.

Her boots clacked softly against the pavement with each step she took, and she sighed deeply. Her interview at her dad's company was coming up this Sunday, and although she was confident she had it in the bag her nerves couldn't help but send her stomach fluttering.

Her dorm building approached in her vision. Massie went over everything her dad taught her about his company to assure herself. Clients come first, because at the end of the day they're what determine your paycheck. Never-

She stopped.

There was someone sitting on the end of the bench outside of the Gilbert dorm building. Slumped forward with arms on his knees, he looked cold. His hair, a shaggy dirty blond mop that was normally a little more kept than it was now, ruffled in the wind. And then he looked up, his brown eyes still stunning even from this distance, and saw her.

_Shit._

"Massie," Derrick stood up. It was apparent that he wasn't sure if he could approach her or not. "Hi."

"No," Massie said, stalking past him into the building. "Nope, sorry. Not happening."

"Come on," Derrick was right there with her, every step she took. "I have to talk to you. Please, Massie."

"You don't just get to show up here and get to talk to me. Especially not now." _Now that I've just started to move on._

"Massie, please," It was easy for Derrick to keep up with her. Nikes were a far more superior shoe than Steve Madden when it came to speed. He dodged a group of mingling girls who shared the building with her as he tagged along up the stairs. "Why would I come all this way if I don't care about you? If I don't _love_ you?"

"Just go away," Massie was done with it, done with him; he could tell by her tone. But the thing was, he wasn't finished.

"No, Massie," He reached out to grab her arm, but she shook just out of his reach. "Please. I have to talk to you."

She spun around at this, amber eyes blazing as they met his pleading ones. "Did it ever occur that maybe _I _don't _want_ to talk to you?"

"And did it ever occur to you that maybe I don't care?" Derrick retorted. Massie's eyes narrowed before she spun around and ducked into the stairwell. But, Derrick was close behind. "I'm not leaving until you talk to me."

"Then be sure to take up a place with Cam, because you'll be here a while." Massie expertly avoided the eyes of her curious dorm mates as they passed.

Derrick sighed irritably. He jumped the stairs two at a time to stay right at her side. "This is ridiculous. Why can't you just _talk to me_?"

"Because I've heard it all!" Massie suddenly stopped, spinning around to face him as she yelled. But it seemed they were both taken aback from her outburst, for they stood there, staring at each other. Moments passed before she spoke again. "You've done enough, Derrick, to show me exactly why I shouldn't trust you. You showed me what you really cared about, and it obviously was not us."

"Don't you say that," Derrick took a step up so that he was eyelevel with her. "I remember clear as day saying repeatedly it was a mistake-"

"And that's what I find so funny about all of this," Amber eyes flashing with rage, she scoffed. "You say it was a mistake, but you not only called me up on the phone to dump me but you dated this girl for a month. If you really didn't mean it, if it was really some mistake, why would it have lasted that long?" Without waiting for an answer, she turned so suddenly Derrick caught a whiff of her shampoo.

Of course, he was right on her tail again as she exited the stairwell and onto what he assumed was her room floor. "Massie, you don't think I wanted to undo it the second after I hung up? Hit redial?" They were halfway down the hallway by now, though there were way fewer people in this one. "How many times do I have to say it until you understand?"

"Until you're blue in the face, if you'd like," Massie took out her key from her purse and inserted into the slot. "Hell, until you pass out. But I'm not listening anymore, so I'd appreciate it if you would leave me alone now, alright?" She had the door open and disappeared inside, and Derrick grew desperate. This was his last shot, and he'll be damned if he was letting her go now.

He wasn't even thinking when he did it, but he was quick to block the door with his body and slip inside. She turned with wild eyes. "What the hell Derrick! Leave, or I'll call campus police."

"Massie, I love you," He noticed her eyes distinctly avoiding his. "And I'm not leaving. Not yet. I'd wait forever if it means you'll forgive me, and I'm sure you remember how stubborn I can be."

A brief flashback to Homecoming their freshman year tugged upwards at the corner of her mouth, but she was quick to stop it. Massie's anger suddenly vanished, and was replaced with an earnest desperation. "Please, Derrick. Just go away."

Derrick took advantage of her lowered guard and took a few steps closer. "You know I won't do that."

"Why can't you just leave it be?" Massie took a staggering step backwards, but the back of her knees hit the bed. Damn her square footage. "Why can't you just take no for an answer and leave me the hell alone? Please."

Derrick, now towering over her shorter frame, said simply, "If you can honestly tell me that you want this to be over, for good, then I'll leave."

Massie looked up into his dark eyes, at a complete loss for words. There was nothing she'd like more than to stand up for herself and her bruised feelings and end it for good- forever. But she missed him, so, _so_ much. And all it would take were less than a handful of simple words to get it all back again.

But it wasn't coming out. She looked at him with near desperation, still struggling with the choice. Massie realized she couldn't say it. She couldn't say anything.

"That's what I thought," Derrick said breathlessly. He cupped her face in his hands and bent down to capture her lips in a kiss.

Massie was so taken aback she nearly fell backwards onto the bed. But he caught her, seemly holding on for dear life. She was torn between shoving him off and surrendering into it. But to be kissing him again felt... _spectacular_. Massie could smell the aftershave he'd been using since high school, the laundry-detergent mixed with hints of Aqua Di Gio scent that had become his signature since she bought the cologne for him, and even the bitterness of January seemed to be lingering on his skin. And before she really had time to reflect on what was whirring through her head, it was over. He pulled away with eyes closed. Just still and breathing.

She looked up at him through her lashes, trying to read his expression. Though she didn't really return his display she had no trouble detecting what he tried to put into it. It was a desperate last-ditch effort to show her what he meant, what he felt. And she had to be brain dead not to have felt it too.

"Derrick, I-" Massie said, voice just barely above a whisper.

"No, don't," He said. His eyes bore into hers with such intensity she had to fight the instinct to turn away. "Before you tell me you never want to see me again, let me just say this." A swift lick of his lips. "I love you, Block. No other girl could ever change that. Being with you is one of the only things that really makes me feel safe, like for once in our ridiculous lives something went right. Don't believe for a second that I feel any less than that."

Derrick Harrington stood before her, completely vulnerable and brutally honest. And Massie hated him for it. Just when she started to truly move on from him, he pulls a stunt like this. He says everything she wanted him to say. And worst of all, he meant it.

"I can't- I hate you for that. You hurt me so badly, and then show up at my dorm saying things like that. What is it with you?" She swallowed hard, sentences coming out incoherently.

"I know, I know" Derrick shifted his weight back and forth. He was still _so close_. "And I'm sorry. Just say we're over, and I'll walk out that door and never come back."

"But I don't want you too," Massie was sure Derrick's expression didn't come close to the one that was surely donned on her face. The words sort of slipped out, and there was no way to take them back now. "I don't want you to hurt me, but I don't want you to leave, either. I just- I just want you, Derrick." And hitting the peak for the most surprising action of the evening, Massie extended her neck out and captured his lips for another kiss.

It was much needier than the one before it, but shorter too. Derrick broke it off to smile at her, a sight she didn't realize until then how much she had missed. Enveloping her into an embrace, she caught the words he exhaled into her ear.

"_Thank god."_

**[ ]**

In the cold and quiet night, Kristen wrapped her scarf tighter around her neck. Her bag slapped against her side as she hurried back to her dorm, weighed down with her recent book additions from the library. School work had always been that constant for her, the thing that no matter what would never change. In math, formulas were absolute. In English, the rules of grammar were always the same. But in real life, surprise after surprises were thrown at her. Things can barely last a year before it all falls to crap. And then where were you left? In heartbreak and despair.

Her phone had been clutched in her hand ever since her conversation with Massie had ended. She knew that her friend was right about Dylan- Kristen had to talk to her about what happened between them. But it was still a hard decision to make. It was hard to give the knife back to the person who embedded it into your spine.

Suddenly her phone vibrated in her palm, causing her to jump. Looking at the display screen, a scoff escaped her lips. Speak of the devil.

She swallowed, sliding a shaky finger over to the green button on the small device. She supposed it was better to get this over with sooner than later, and there was no better time like the present. "Hello?"

"Um, hey Kristen, it's Dylan."

"Yeah, I figured from the caller ID," Kristen said awkwardly.

"Oh, I wasn't sure if you had- uh, never mind," Dylan stumbled over her syllables. "Look, I'm sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to- I wanted to apologize to you, for everything."

"Oh," Kristen said, with eyebrows raised.

"Yeah. And uh," Her old friend trailed off. "I didn't mean to ruin our friendship or betray you or hurt you or anything. I guess I was just being selfish."

"It's, um," Kristen paused, taking a deep breath. "It's okay. And you know, you don't have to feel bad about Josh. Not seeing him wouldn't change the fact that he cares about you, as I'm sure you care about him. So stop punishing him, alright?"

"Okay. I mean," Dylan sighed. From the years she has known her Kirsten could bet her scholarship that her friend's old nail biting habit just made a cameo appearance. "I didn't want… Are, are we good now? Like before?"

Kristen sighed. "No Dylan, not like before. I don't know what to call it, but I can honestly say it's not going back to like it was before anytime soon."

"Oh," She could hear the obvious disappointment. "I get it, I understand. It's just, uh, thank you for taking my call."

"It's no problem, you can still call me."

"Bye, Kristen," Dylan said.

"Goodbye," She was about to hang up the phone when she remembered something. "Oh, and Dylan?"

"Yeah?"

Kristen gave a small smile she knew she could not see. "Go see Josh."

**[ ]**

Dylan smiled, biting her lip as she hurried along the brick sidewalk outside of the small corner café. Kristen's conversation lit a small spark of hope in her heart- not just for their friendship but also for Josh as well.

She had just texted him, asking him to meet her for a cup of coffee and hopefully a long discussion. That is, if he'll even show. She knew that her behavior lately towards him didn't exactly have him skipping up to her, clicking his heels and brandishing a bouquet. But all she could do was let him know she was ready and waiting.

The place was nearly deserted (as it should be on a Thursday night), and Dylan found solitude in a corner booth facing the door. Just as she sat down, a waitress came over and Dylan ordered herself a cappuccino. But once it was brought before her, she realized that her nerves were too great to stomach it. And so she passed the cup back and forth between her hands, waiting on him to show up.

Minutes ticked by almost painfully, and soon almost an hour had passed. But she wasn't giving up just yet. Outside, rain spattered against the windowpane, and Dylan watched a group of people rush for cover, their jackets aloft above their heads. And then the door chimed, and there was Josh- drenched from head to toe.

He noticed her in the corner, and his mouth grew into a lopsided smile. "Hey," He said as he approached. "I'm sorry. I didn't get your text until about a half an hour ago."

"No, no, it's fine," Dylan watched as he sat down across from her, shrugging off his soaked North Face raincoat like a layer of skin.

"So uh," Josh cleared his throat. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Us, simply put," Dylan said. "I know I shouldn't have acted like a fifth grader in dealing with this, so I'm sorry for that, but it's just been a conflicting time for me right now."

Josh sighed, almost sadly. "I actually wanted to say sorry too. I was also acting like a jerk."

"No, it was understandable," Dylan said slowly. Her emerald eyes were trained on his hands, which were clasped together in front of him as he leaned on his forearms. "I just couldn't handle seeing you because I knew what I did to Kristen just to see you like that. I wanted to be with you, yes, but I also wanted to get my friend back and so I thought to do that I couldn't see you."

"And so now we're…?"

Dylan raised her eyes, smiling at him. "I want to be with you Josh. Out in the open, with other people around. I want to go with you on one of those cheesy group dates Massie used to have us all do. I want to hang out around our friends and not have to worry about hiding how we feel."

Josh paused, grinning. "Are you asking me out?"

Dylan laugh filled the otherwise empty café. "Yeah, I guess I am."

His grin now threatening to tear his face in half, Josh stood up and leaned across the table to capture her in a kiss.

And all of a sudden Dylan was a millionaire.

**[ ]**

From her perch on the end on her bed, Claire had a pretty good view of life outside of her window. It was a clear night in New York City, completely dry and cloudless. And just beyond the campus ground the bright lights of the city shone like a beacon. She rapped her pencil against her blank notebook page again and again, trying to find the right words to build a perfect thesis.

Claire really didn't feel like writing this essay. Excuse her, but that crap can wait. Her camera beckoned her from his perch at her desk, it's place in her room ever since she took the pictures off the memory card from Aspen. Without thinking twice, Claire stepped off her bed and scooped it up, throwing on her jacket and leather boots on her way out the door.

The fresh air was sweet and forgiving. Claire breathed in deeply, powering up her camera. What better therapy was there?

The quad was fairly deserted, and she walked alone in silence. Without people, though, it was hard for her to find an immediate subject. Claire enjoyed taking people's portraits more than capturing a landscape, but she supposed she'd have to make due. Procrastination had a hold of her and it was not letting go anytime soon.

She made her way toward the edge of campus, where she knew there was a park bench with a pretty good view. Though she kind of hated the place now, even she had to admit it was beautiful. But as she approached, she saw another figure huddled on the bench. Not wanting to bother them, she left as quietly as she could.

"Claire?"

She turned. Cam stood up from his seat on the bench. He nodded at her. "Out for a stroll? Don't you have that paper to do?"

"Yeah, I'm strolling," Claire ignored the second question, fingering her camera. She hadn't talked to him since their blowout the other night. "What are- what are you doing here?"

"Just needed to clear my head." He exhaled, and his breath left in a puff of fog. They stood there in silence, a few feet apart, still as loss with what to say about their fallout the other night.

Exhaling, Claire had the urge to leave. "So I should probably go do that paper-"

"Claire," Cam said, approaching her slowly. "It's been bothering me all night, but," He stopped, alternating his weight from foot to foot. "I shouldn't have stormed off like that and left things as they were. I should have told you about those transfer papers, I know that. But believe me when I say I forgot about them after Aspen-"

"No, Cam, it's okay," Claire interjected. "I should have understood. I shouldn't have expected you to stand around and just be there at my beck and call. So I'm sorry, and I promise you I won't say anything about it again."

With a relieved grin, Cam closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around her. Claire felt him kiss the top of her head and let out a sigh. "_God._ You know, I hate how we're going right back into our old patterns. What is it with us?"

"I don't know," Claire said into the lapel of his jacket. "But I wish we could stop."

Cam pulled away just enough to smile at her. His mismatched eyes had a small spark to them. "I have a feeling this is just who we are, at least for now. Maybe there still is some hurt feelings between us from the last few years, things that still need to be resolved."

Leaning her head against his shoulder, Claire sighed. "Well, I'm willing to try if you are."

"Of course I am. There's nothing else I could even think about doing."

**[ ]**

Kemp unlocked his dorm room cautiously. He had no doubt that Josh was in there right now, but he had to get some much-needed rest in his own bed. His back and shoulders ached from that stiff library chair, and his eyes nearly burned from sheer exhaustion. If he didn't get some rest soon, he'd drop like a marionette with it's strings cut.

Sure enough, just as he opened a door he caught sight of Josh perched on the edge of his bed. His eyes were trained intently on the television screen in front of him. But he looked up at the sound of the door opening, and Kemp noticed his expression become guarded at the sight of him.

Without looking over, Kemp tossed his bag into the corner and striped his damp coat off. The last things to be removed were his shoes before he flopped face first onto his bed. It felt amazing. His eyes snapped shut immediately, and he was just on the verge of consciousness when Josh cleared his throat.

"Done avoiding me, are you?"

Kemp internally groaned. "Shut up, please."

"You know what, no," Josh's voice got stronger. "This is probably the only chance I'll get to talk to you for who knows how long. I still can't even believe you're pissed at me, all because I dated a girl. By the way, I never really figured out why that mattered to you."

Kemp lifted his head up and twirled around to face Josh. "For starters, you didn't really date her. She was the other woman you saw behind your girlfriend's back. I haven't been able to stand you knowing how you can easily do something that horrible to a girl you claimed you loved. Kristen is a friend of mine, Josh. I guess I just expected more of you."

Josh's hard expression softened a touch. "Damn, I didn't know you were so sensitive."

Kemp couldn't help it- he cracked a small grin. "Yeah, well while you guys were out playing soccer that one summer before freshman year, I was stuck inside with an easy bake oven. My emotions didn't stand a chance."

His old friend offered up a chuckle. "That explains everything. But can we put this whole thing behind us? We're fighting like chicks."

Looking at him thoughtfully, Kemp really considered it. It may be because he was exhausted and a little out of it, but eventually he said, "Yeah, let's forget about it."

"So are we good?" Josh extended out a hand.

Kemp cast a sidelong glance at it, and he took his sweet time deciding what to do next. He looked his old friend straight into his dark eyes and said, "You stop being a dick, Hotz." He grasped his friend's hand tightly.

Josh grinned. "Well I'm sorry your morals can't handle me."

"No, seriously," Kemp said. "You'll end up a lonely, grumpy old man who spends his free time patrolling his yard with a double barrel."

"Nah, I'm not really a gun person," Josh said. He scooted over on the end of his bed and picked up the controller, extending out the other one to Kemp. "Here- your morals can take back seat while I kick your ass at Madden."

"Madden is for pussies," Kemp protested, but accepted the controller anyway. "But bring it on."

It's almost funny how quickly things can change.


	30. Always Remember Me

Chapter Thirty: _Always Remember Me_

_Six Months Later_

Summer was in full swing on the east coast. July was a welcoming change, and after the harsh winter they had it seemed everyone was out taking advantage of it. The entire campus of Columbia was filled with the short-clad bodies of the students who opted to spend the summer at school. For Massie and Claire, they spent this particular afternoon at one of the many outdoor tables the campus café had to offer.

"To us, and the survival of our first full year of college," Claire said, lifting her vanilla bean frappuccino high in the air.

Massie smiled, the loose tendrils of hair that framed her face picking up in the breeze as she raised her strawberry lemonade. "Only about three more to go. That is, depending on what we want to be."

"Speaking of which," Claire said. She paused to tie her hair back into a messy bun. "How goes the internship?"

"Great, actually," Massie said. "We have these possible clients we're supposed to be catering too, so I have to double check on dinner reservations for them tonight."

"Sounds thrilling," The blonde one teased. "But I'm glad it's working out for you."

"Thank you darling," Taking a lengthy sip from her drink, Massie checked the time. "Hey, where are they?"

"Don't know," Claire said. "They were supposed to meet us here, right? You didn't tell them our dorms, did you?"

"No, I'm pretty sure I said-" Massie stopped. "Oh, here they are."

Claire turned her head, and smiled in greeting as the two boys approached their table. "Well, finally."

"Did you get everything sorted out?" Massie asked.

Derrick planted a kiss on the top of her head. "Yep," He grinned proudly and pulled up a chair. "Starting next year, I'm officially a Columbia student. The transfer application just went through."

Massie beamed at him. "I can't wait."

Cam gagged at the display in front of them. "Man, Claire. I would never have guessed two people could be so sickening."

"Shut up, Fisher."

"Right?" Claire grinned at him, while Massie shot him a frown. "I can feel the bile rising."

"So what are the plans for this summer?" Derrick asked, changing the subject. "We only have about a month left before the semester starts."

"I was thinking St. Barts," Said Massie. "My mom has friends who own a house down there that I'm sure they'd let us use for a week."

"That sounds fun," Cam piped up. "I think we should do it."

"Alright then," Massie pulled out her brand new iPhone 4. "I'll call up my mom and see what they can do."

**[ ]**

"Good class, huh?"

Alicia turned at the sound of the voice, flashing a smile at the passing girl. "As always. Good job out there!"

Her dance class down at the SoHo dance studio had just ended, and she was in an excellent mood like she always was after class ended. She loved it- lived for it even. Their teacher had danced on Broadway several times, and really knew what she was talking about. Every time Alicia came to class is seemed like she learned a new technique or a new step she had never even heard of before. It was heaven, and every second of the day she was glad she defied her parents and went through with it.

Alicia pulled a loose lightweight dolman top and yoga pants over her leotard. Gathering up the rest of her belongings she bid farewell to the rest of the girls still in the locker room.

"See you Thursday," The receptionist for the studio said as Alicia padded her way across the lobby.

"Thanks!" Shooting a smile behind her shoulder. Alicia pushed the glass door open and stepped out into the warm summer day. July has been good to New York.

"Excuse me!"

Alicia turned. A guy dressed in Nike sweatpants and a white t-shirt stood in the doorway she had just came from. His blue eyes popped on his tan skin, and when he smiled she noticed his dazzling white teeth did the same.

"Yes?" Alicia asked, remembering to breathe.

"Is this your phone? I think you dropped it." He extended out his arm, and nestled in his palm was her tattered Blackberry Pearl.

"Oh yes! Thank you," Alicia beamed, tucking the phone safely into the depths of her bag. "Are you in my dance class?"

"Yeah, I believe I was," He said. "I'm Noah. Was today your first class?"

"No, I've been going for a few weeks now."

"Oh. I just haven't seen you there before," He smiled coyly. "But it makes sense, seeing how good you can dance."

Feeling her self blush, Alicia glowed. "Well thank you."

"Anytime," His stunning blue eyes met hers. "So, I'll see you around?"

Grinning, Alicia started to turn away. "I'll see you Thursday."

As she walked down the block she heard her phone vibrated from the inside of her bag. Retrieving it, she turned it on and read the screen.

**NOAH: thursday it is **

She smiled over her shoulder, and Noah waved his phone at her. Her life was finally looking up.

**[ ]**

The words blurred together on the open page in front of her, creating sentence after sentence of unreadable nonsense. Kristen blinked repeatedly trying to get her eyes to straighten out. This was her fourth hour in the library today, and she guessed that meant she needed a break.

She slammed the book closed, earning an annoyed glare from the boy sitting across the table. But Kristen couldn't care less. She had been spending her summer wasting away in a library, all to keep up with her new scholarship requirements. Colleges are getting harder to get into across the country, so she really had to step it up if she wanted to keep her spot. As she reminds herself everyday, there are plenty of other more than qualified valedictorians who's own dreams are rested on all Yale can offer.

It took a while for her eyes to adjust to the sunlight the first few moments she stepped outside. But once the number of black fuzzy shapes had reduced, she started her decent down the stairs.

And smacked right into someone.

"_I've really got to stop doing that," _She thought, bending down to help pick up the books that had fallen from her arms.

"I'm sorry," The other person said.

"No, it's okay, it was my-" She paused, looking up to see who she had ran into. "Oh, hey Zack."

Zack gave a wary smile. "Hey Kristen."

"How are you? How's your summer been going?" Though they haven't really ever been close, it was nice to see someone around campus with whom she was vaguely familiar with.

"Fine, I guess," He looked uncomfortable standing before her in cargo shorts and red striped polo. "I've been busy doing summer homework, so I haven't really done much else."

"Oh, I know how that feels," Kristen admitted. "I just got finished wasting my life away in there."

He finally offered up a smile. "Well, you wouldn't mind going back in there to join me, would you?"

"Not today," Kristen said apologetically. "I'm done with studying. But how about tomorrow? Meet me here at around one?"

Looking genuinely surprised, Zack grinned. "Yeah, sure. I'll see you then."

"Alright, see you tomorrow," Kristen gave him one last final smile before descending down the rest of the stairs. She admitted that with Derrick's absence and the fact that Sam wouldn't talk to her anymore just because she knew Derrick left Kristen lacking in the close-range friends department. And she really felt bad for how she has acted towards Zack in the past. He wasn't really all that bad of a guy from what she's seen. Maybe he just needed a chance.

And that was exactly what she was willing to give him.

**[ ]**

"_Yes!_" Kemp exclaimed, rising to his feet. He pumped his fist in triumph. "I believe that's another loss to add to your record book, Hotz." On screen, the game played a montage of all of Kemp's greatest kills, a number of which were at Josh's expense.

Josh scoffed. "Yeah, okay. I'd quit the smack talk though. Karma might come back to kick you in the ass."

"Well first it has to deal with you, so I think I'm good for the moment."

"Nice one," Dylan said sarcastically from Josh's bed. The three of them had spent the day so far in the boy's dorm room, playing round after round of various video games. Dylan had originally objected, but once Josh had coaxed her into playing it she went right along with it. "Real original, too."

Kemp shook his head. "Calm down, Dylan. It was just a joke."

"I know that, and my point is it happened months ago. You need another punch line."

"Hey, peace," Josh said, holding out an arm. "We're friends, remember? Tighter than spandex, until the end... all that good stuff. Let's just change the subject. Kemp, how's your lady friend?"

"You mean Ava?" Kemp remembered the girl he ran into once, busting her bag open. "She's great. I'm supposed to meet her later tonight, actually."

"Aw, how sweet," Dylan teased. "Romance over a brand new Fendi."

"Well at least I didn't have to steal her from anyone."

Kemp's comment was rewarded with a swift smack to the head.

**[ ]**

Derrick sighed with content, unpacking a box filled with the old contents of his Yale dorm. He felt good about his switch to Columbia; he was sharing a dorm with Cam and he was closer to Massie and his family back in Westchester. It was a wonder he didn't think of this sooner.

Cam closed his cell phone with a snap. "Claire says we should hurry up. Sounds like we're planning on walking to the movie."

"Ah, life in the city," Derrick shot his friend a look. "I can't tell you how much I missed it."

Cam smiled and reached into his pocket. "Hey, check this out," He tossed a small object to Derrick. Catching it, he found it was a small ring box.

"Is this-" Derrick opened it, revealing it's hidden diamond. "Are you serious?"

Cam nodded, a goofy grin on his face. "I've had it for months, I just haven't figured out when to give it to her."

"Holy shit," Derrick tossed the box back. "Congratulations man. I always knew you two would be the first to get married out of all of us."

"Nothing's ever felt more right, you know?"

"All right, Romeo, save it for Claire," Derrick clapped his best friend on the back. "But I'm happy for you. Can't believe your getting married."

"I doubt it will be anytime soon though," Cam said earnestly. "We'll probably wait until after college."

"If your relationship can even last that long without another break up."

"It'll probably last as long as it takes for you to cheat on Massie again."

"Ouch," Derrick feigned hurt. "That stung."

Massie poked her head in the door. "You guys ready? We've been waiting out here forever."

Derrick noticed Cam swiftly stow the ring into the top drawer of his dresser. "Yeah, we're good. Let's go."

**[ ]**

_Dude-  
You need some help if you think I'm actually going to write something about how much I'm going to miss you and reminisce the good times and blah blah blah. No, I think I'm going to bring up all the moments I'm sure you want to forget. All right? Here it goes...  
Freshmen year, during soccer initiation, you thought they had made you kiss senior Abbey Wright blindfolded when it was actually Tommy Goldman. I still laugh when I remember how your face looked when you found out weeks later. And the puke stain never came out of that rug I had in my room.  
Junior year you thought it would be funny to prank our then captain (until yours truly took over) Kevin Mitchell. You tried to steal his car, and he beat the shit out of you thinking you were actually a thief.  
You have no idea how hard I'm laughing right now remembering all of this.  
Then there was that party during that one summer everyone went down to the beach. You threw up on Skye Hamilton. At another party, you threw up on Allie-Rose Singer. Becca Wilder fell victim once, too.  
What I'm basically saying is, don't piss off upperclassmen and steer clear of copious amounts of alcohol.  
Stay classy  
- Derrick Harrington, the one and only_

_Chris!  
I'm going to miss seeing you everyday. You've been a great friend, and I'm sorry it took us so long to hang out outside of the group.  
I wish you all the best in your life, and don't be afraid to pick up the phone and give me a call. You know I'd love to hear from you.  
Love, Kristen_

_Plovert-  
You're a tool.  
See you man.  
- Kemp_

Chris closed his senior year book with a sad smile. Reading the words his friends wrote for him took him back to a time where all he had to worry about were grades and girls. Could it really only have been a year ago? It seemed like a whole other life to him. And he knew, deep down, that although they had great time he wouldn't go back.

He tossed the book behind him onto the bed and smiled softly. The silence in his apartment was deafening. He knew Alicia was still out, so it was just him, the walls and his thoughts.

And so Chris sat by himself and remembered all the good times he's had in his life. And all of the people he knew and loved. They all had their problems, and they all had their hardships, but they remained strong. And Chris admired them for that. He wanted so badly to be like them, to know how to get up moments after being knocked down.

On his bedside table, his phone danced across the surface.

**DERRICK: get your pathetic ass down to the theater on 6th. we're seeing a movie, and massie wants me to let you know there's no way you're getting out of it.**

Chris laughed to himself. They would never change. They could be sixty and crippling and still find them time to poke endless fun at each other or go on fabulous trips to great places. And you can bed that ridiculous drama would still circulate like the common cold. That's just who they are. And Chris was proud of them.

Because no matter what happened to them, he knew they would all be okay. He knew that only in the black of night, in the cold unforgiving dark, you see the stars.

* * *

**chapter title from last chapter came from **your hand in mine** by **explosions in the sky**.  
this chapter is **ry cuming's always remember me**.**

**wow. okay, this is the end. it's over. and i'm proud of it. i mean, sure, there are plenty of plot holes and the story itself isn't the strongest, but i'm totally proud of this.**

**people have asked about a sequel, but i'm going to go ahead and say no to that. i don't know if i have another one in me for their stories.**

**it took me forever to get this ending just right. i had it done this morning, but i didn't like the ending. and it's been about two years since i posted chapter one, and probably another one from when i posted it for the very first time.**

**i really want to thank everyone who reviewed, everyone who favorited, everyone who put this on alert... everyone who cared enough about this little project of mine. **

**mile five is next on my 'to-finish' list. **

**so, until next time.  
-alex **


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